When a movie feels like church...

"To love another person is to see the face of God...."  This is Jean Valjean's final line in the play and movie of Victor Hugo's Les Miserables.... which I can honestly say is one of the most profound literary, musical and movie experiences of my life.

Unlike many people in the this country, I was first introduced to Les Miserables through the book, all 1463 pages of it.  It was a gift from a friend in seminary and I read it from cover to cover in less than one week. I was so transfixed by the story that I could barely manage to put it down to sleep, and would pick it up to begin the read again as soon as I awoke.  That week was supposed to be one of recovery from the intensity of a difficult semester of reading and writing.  But the power of the story, of it's picture of forgiveness and grace - I could not help but be swept away and changed forever by its enduring message of love.

Just a few months later, I had the opportunity to see the musical adaptation for the first time.  I drove with six of my friends from Durham to Atlanta for a Saturday matinee, and then back to Durham the same night.  We talked about it the whole way home - about six hours - and for days afterward.  The music and staging enhanced my fondness for the story, and so I read it again over the summer break.  Ultimately, I was able to process the story most fully when I wrote a semester-length paper for a church theology class on grace in my last year of seminary.  And still I held on to my original book copy, complete with its underlining and highlighting and dogeared pages... it is a good friend that I always want to be in touch with.

Three more times I have seen the musical - in Raleigh, in Norfolk, and on the original London set in the East End ... in a theater with less than 1000 people.  In London, I saw it with my husband, who was as enthralled as I was, and who never wants to see anything for a second time, except this.  We have watched the concerts on PBS during pledge drive, own the 25th Anniversary concert on Blu-Ray (it's actually our only Blu-Ray disk), and have waited with great anticipation for the release of the movie. It was everything I hoped it would be and more.

Today, sitting in that movie, it felt like being in church... very up close and personal.  You could almost feel the dirt, smell the stench, feel the rain.  And when tears were shed, they were not only Fantine or Valjean or Javert's tears, they were my tears, too.

This is a book, a play, and a movie about injustice... about oppression... about grace... about forgiveness.  It is a story that transcends 19th century France and mirrors many of the stories of struggle throughout the world today.  It asks the question, "Can people change?"  In our experience, we often think not, but the whole gospel message says that we can, only not by our own power alone.  It is through our relationship with Christ that change occurs.  But it is often difficult to imagine what that kind of change could look like in our own lives.

These immortal characters help us to ask ourselves what we would do in the same circumstances.  Would we have forgiven as the bishop did?  Would I have made the dramatic turn around that Jean Valjean made?  Would you continue to live out grace, even if you were afraid your secret past was about to be discovered?  Would we keep impossible promises and totally change our lives, all because of a promise made to a God that only became real in an unimaginable and unwanted way.  (I hope this was vague enough not to ruin the plot, but not so much as not to get my point across.)

In the end, I think this is exactly what Hugo wanted from his readers.  He wanted us to ask, "Is my faith real - is it alive? Can others see it?  Are they inspired by it?  Does it give me the courage to fight injustice and oppression and help others, even when it is risky for me?

I think this is what church is supposed to do... Or in the words of Pastor Carl today, are we, like the magi, willing to go home by a different way?  And what would that look like?  Would it look like Les Mis...?   Or would it look like something that I can't even imagine, yet?

I wonder....

Peace, Deb

A Merry, Messy Christmas to You

This sermon was prepared for Audubon Park United Methodist Church in Spokane, WA on December 24, 2012.
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Luke 2:1-20

This service tonight is our last expression of the Advent season.  We have sung the Christmas story in hymns and anthems, and heard it's message in scripture and prayers.  And while many in the world around us think that Christmas will be over tomorrow, we are reminded that Advent is our time of preparation, like getting ready for a wonderful party.  Christmas Day – December 25^th is when the whole celebration really begins.  The seasons of Christmas and Epiphany are the party themselves, and ones in which we are beckoned to participate.

During Advent, we have heard messages of hope and promises of salvation through the words of the prophets Isaiah and Micah, and through the angel who visited Mary and told her of the amazing miracle that God was going to work through her.  In Christmas and Epiphany, we are invited to celebrate the fulfillment of those promises in the gift of Jesus Christ.  Our opening verse and closing hymn, “Joy to the World,” reminds us that the news is too good to keep to ourselves:

Joy to the world, the Lord is come!  Let earth receive her king;

Let every heart prepare him room, and heaven and nature sing…

These are the days of singing for all of creation.  God’s word is fulfilled.  The Lord has come, and through him, we will all be saved.  Tonight we celebrate the birth of a child, but not just any child.  Tonight we celebrate the birth of God’s own son, the very coming of God in the flesh.

The theological term is “incarnation,” which means, “God made flesh.”  The whole Christmas story, as we piece it together, tells of people who were truly in awe of what was happening around them.  The newborn child in the manger, his parents, the angel-struck shepherds smelling of sheep and sweat, the wise men and their costly, aromatic gifts, all were waiting for God’s blessing.  And that blessing came in the person of Jesus Christ, growing from infancy to childhood, and beginning a ministry among God’s people.

Tonight we celebrate this incarnation, the fleshing out of the story of God’s love for all of God’s people:  it is a story of the extraordinary filling the ordinary;  it is God’s glory manifested in earthly, everyday things.

In reality, it was probably a messy, messy Christmas, that first Christmas Eve night.  Mary and Joseph had traveled ten days journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem, only to find the family home already overrun with others who had traveled for the same reason. Who could have known that Mary’s time would come so soon?  Who would have thought this to be the perfect place for the birth of a king?

Many of us hope that Christmas will calm and quiet, a time for reconnecting with family and friends, and maybe a time of rest.  But the first Christmas was probably nothing like that.  It was frightening, as Mary and Joseph had traveled a long distance to be present for the government ordered census after being told about this amazing and curious pregnancy.  Their accommodations were less than desirable, even though the stable was probably the most private and quiet place in their family home.  And soon strangers would come to validate what they had been told, first shepherds straight from the fields, and later, foreigners with gifts that would foretell of this baby’s life journey.  And later still, the family would flee to Egypt to escape King Herod, who would do just about anything to eliminate any possible competition from this so-called infant king.

The celebration of Christmas didn’t start the year after Jesus was born – or the year after he died.  It started over two hundred years later, when the early church realized that the birth stories were a new way to bring  people into the story… new listeners – new believers – new worshipers of this fully human – fully divine, “oh so different” king. 

Like no other part of Jesus’ story, the nativity story makes real the fact that God was one of us... nurtured in the water of the womb through nine months of forming fingers and toes and ears and eyes.   Then there was the birth… like millions before it.  God came into the world as others babies do.  With tears mixed with laughter, fear, pain, exhilaration, joy, exhaustion.  Anguish for Mary.  Trauma for God.  Finally, after all of that, God drew his first human breath and smelled what?  The warm stench of a barn.  You can’t get more humble than that. (Betsy Wright, The Virginian-Pilot, 12/16/95)

This is what makes us embrace this baby Jesus so warmly.  You see, in Jesus, God become totally accessible.  In Jesus, God isn’t the one we hide from, as Moses did behind a rock, waiting for the Lord to appear.  No, in Jesus, we have a God we want to hold in our arms and cuddle, a God over whom we can exclaim, “what a miracle”, just as we do to the babies in our own lives.

There’s a wonderful children’s story – The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson.  Boy, did she ever get it right when she told about a Christmas play that did not go the way everyone expected.  It all started when the director broke her leg a few weeks before Christmas… and the six worst kids in the town volunteered to play all the major roles… during every rehearsal there was hitting and cussing and general malcontent.  Through the practices, it is revealed that the Herdmann kids had never even heard the story of Jesus’ birth… they just came to church for the donuts.  And when their fearless leader, oldest sister Imogene, found out about all of the indignities surrounding the nativity story, she just wanted to go beat somebody up.

But on the night of the play, everyone listened with new ears as these novice players acted out the familiar story right before their eyes.  And they knew that the children had gotten it right as the Mary and Joseph entered the sanctuary.  The story’s 10-year old narrator described them like this – “They looked like people you see on the six o’clock news – refugees, sent to some strange ugly place, with all their boxes and sacks around them.”  And when the Three Kings came to worship the baby, instead of a jar of sweet smelling bath salts, they brought the family ham, the one they got in their Christmas food basket from the church, complete with a ribbon that said, “Merry Christmas.”   

Everyone said it was the best pageant ever, but no one could quite put their finger on why it was so much better.  Our narrator said it best,as children often do, “As far as I’m concerned, Mary is always going to look like Imogene Herdmann, sort of nervous and bewildered – and ready to clobber anyone who laid a hand on her baby.  And the Wise Men would always be Leroy and his brothers, bearing ham.”

The Christmas story is complicated and messy and took more than one day to unfold.  Its message has the power to shape not just a day’s celebration, but how we live each and every day… even for our whole lives.  The love that is Christmas, the peace and joy that are Christmas, they are the goal of God’s people every day of the year.

May this poem from 20^th century theologian and civil rights leader Howard Thurman be our prayer for Christmas and all of our lives…

When the song of the angels is stilled,
When the star in the sky is gone,
When the kings and the princes are home,
When the shepherds are back with their flock,
The work of Christmas begins:

     To find the lost, to heal the broken,

     to feed the hungry, to release the prisoner,

     to rebuild the nations, to bring peace among brothers and sisters,

     to make music in the heart. 

May you each be blessed with a merry, messy Christmas!

Peace, Deb

(Thanks to The Journey by Adam Hamilton, Christmas is Not Your Birthday by Mike Slaughter for influencing this year's Advent experience and this sermon.  Thurman’s poem originally appeared in his book, The Mood of Christmas and Other Seasons - 1973 - And thanks again to the Herdmann's for keeping it all real.)

Click to view video of scripture and sermon

Just waiting....

Something weird happened this year.  I finished my holiday preparations on Thursday - yes, five whole days before Christmas.  The house is festively attired... All the gifts have been made, bought, mailed or delivered... the necessary food has been purchased...  plans have been made to get together with friends on Christmas night for dessert and games... we are just waiting.

Sometimes I feel like I should be doing more.  There must be something left to make - something left to buy - something else to accomplish.  But I just wait.

It's a good way to end the Advent season... just waiting.  It's part of what this season of the church year is about.  Mary and Joseph, Elizabeth and Zechariah, they found out that God was working a miracle in their lives and they had to wait for it to be fulfilled.

We read the Christmas story from Luke and Matthew in the New Testament and we don't think about how long the story took to unfold - not just the months of Elizabeth and Mary's pregnancies, but the years between the prophecies of Isaiah and Micah, and others, who proclaimed God's promise to always be with us, to save us from our sins and our selves.  We hear the stories of Jesus, his work among the people, and his parables of grace and judgment, and we know that Jesus came not only to the Jews and Gentiles of the first century, but to the generations who have come since, and to the generations to come.  This miracle of birth and Spirit was at work in the people of Jesus' time, even in the midst of uncertainty and adversity.

Remember that the story of Christmas doesn't end on Christmas day - it's a continuing chapter in the story of God and God's people.  Some of this story is joyful, but other parts are hard to hear.  On the day after Christmas read all of the second chapter of Matthew.  Not only will you encounter the familiar Magi, who came from far away to worship the infant king, but you will also see how God was working, even in the midst of tragedy.  Massacres and fleeing are a part of this story, too.  In the midst of those struggles, God worked a miracle or two so that the holy family could flee to safety, and then return with the time was right.

God is working a miracle in our lives, too.  It may not seem like it.  God sometimes feels very far away.  But really God is right here... with us in the midst of our joys and surrounding us in difficult times.  God is with us in the warmth of friendship, in the constancy of family, in the small miracles of health care, and in reaching out to others in our abundance.  In that way, we are the hands and feet of Christ, reaching out to a world in need of this message of real peace and real love.  If we can just live out of love, then Christmas can be real for us every day of the year.

May your Christmastide celebrations be filled with much joy and many blessings!

Peace, Deb

[Jesus said," "Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what’s coming to you in this kingdom. It’s been ready for you since the world’s foundation. And here’s why:

I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, I was homeless and you gave me a room, I was shivering and you gave me clothes, I was sick and you stopped to visit, I was in prison and you came to me.’ 

“Then those ‘sheep’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?’ Then the King will say, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.’ (Matthew 25:34-40 The Message)

The meaning of real perfection

Christmas looks a lot different around my house these days.  Oh, don't get me wrong - there are still lots of decorations - the stockings that Aunt Neva made for our first Christmas, trees filled with ornaments that hold memories of our childhoods and times together.  There will still be a gathering or two, our advent wreath and Jesse Tree observances... parties to attend, gifts to send, and more memories to be made.  But in the last few years, we have decided that our Advent preparations and Christmas celebrations are meant to be enjoyed.  So fretting has gone out the window, and we have tried to discover the joy in each activity that we undertake.  It doesn't mean we're not busy - it just means that we're a whole lot happier along the way.

In his book, Christmas Is Not Your Birthday, United Methodist pastor and author, Mike Slaughter sets out an exercise in re-examining our understanding and celebration of Christmas.  His premise: the season (and life) should be about experiencing the joy of living and giving like Jesus.  He calls us on many of our bad habits - purchasing gifts out of obligation, buying outside the limit of our budgets, and not sharing a part of our celebration with those who have real need.  It's been a really good read, and it's really enhanced my Advent devotional time.  One of the chapters is entitled, "Giving Up on Perfect."  Until recently, we have had a problem with that in our house... Sometimes I feel that I just can't live up to the expectations of those around me... my spouse, included.  It's getting better, day by day, because we have been willing to go to the uncomfortable place of talking about the things that cause strife in our relationship.  And with love, we have been able to sometimes compromise and other times concede to the other's wants and needs.  In the end, we realized that our difference make us stronger... and to not be offended if the other doesn't meet our standards, which are probably unrealistic to begin with.

When we look at the Christmas story, we think that it's the perfect story.  But I'll bet that Mary and Joseph would beg to differ.  Their lives were turned totally upside down.  The journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem was treacherous and long - 10 days of walking through difficult terrain and barren wilderness.  Their birthing  accommodations were less than optimal - but offered privacy and safety from the hustle of the growing crowds.  They stayed in Bethlehem for a lot longer than we imagine - long enough for shepherds and magi to arrive, and for an angel visitation to send them on to a safer place in Egypt, emigrants who would not return home for several years.

It took several hundred years for a theology to develop around the mysterious person of Mary, the mother of the Savior.  Now she is surrounded by words like "immaculate conception" and "perpetual virginity," but in the Christmas story from the gospels of Luke and Matthew, she is just Mary, a young woman who was willing to receive an unexpected call.  She was not chosen because she perfect, but she was favored - she was available, believing what the angel messenger told her, "With God, nothing is impossible."

In the English language, we have defined the word perfect by assuming that it means without flaw or messiness. But the word has a much deeper meaning.  Perfection is about fulfillment of purpose.  It is about accomplishment, even if the result is not one that we expect.  It is about finishing what we start, and going on to do something more.

Likewise, Christian perfection is about being all that God created us to be.  Spiritually, we are called to enter into mission wherever we are... to ask more questions and need fewer answers... to live with humility... to stop expecting superhuman feats of strength and moral character from ourselves and others... to react to our circumstances instead of molding our situations to fit our own needs.

So, how do we put these ideas into practice?  First, give up the idea of doing things perfectly - and just do them with love.  In his book, Every Good Endeavor, pastor Tim Keller talks about understanding our work as an extension of God's work.  Whether you are a homemaker, a company CEO, or milk cows for a living, believe that your work is integral to the work of God on this earth.  Second, have the difficult talk about expectations.  Swallowing our anger, disappointments and failures causes more problems that it solves, for ourselves and for others.  The people who love us will not abandon us because we speak out... and those that do turn away do not know real love.  And third, living out love may mean living large - but even more it means living small.  The grand gesture is wonderful and greatly appreciated, but it's the everyday small tasks done in love that keep the world going.  Doing laundry, packing lunches, giving someone a ride, holding someone's hand, crying with someone in their pain - all of these acts of kindness are ways of living out God's presence with others.

Love is the key to it all.  At the end of the day, we have keep reminding ourselves that God has a special work for each of us.  Like Mary, we are called to do the unlikely and unexpected.  Just keep telling yourself this, "I am not perfect - I am favored.  And this is all that I need."  Thanks be to God.

Peace, Deb

Life is not about staying safe and living comfortably.  The call to follow Jesus is a call to give your life to him, to join God's mission in healing the souls of the world.  We were never promised a reward in this life.  The real rewards are found in the joy and peace that we experience through serving others in Christ's spirit.  This is why we can pray with Mary, " I am your servant, Lord.  Regardless of what comes my way, let it be done according to your will, even when the angels disappear."

Even in the midst of the unexpected, the messy, and the devastating  you can still fully expect God to show up.  No matter what you are struggling to overcome, God promises to show up.  This is truly what Christmas is all about: in the midst of all of our messes - poverty, genocide, environmental disasters, wars, terrorism, religious hate and bigotry, divorce, cancer, and yes, even death, God shows up!  (Christmas Is Not Your Birthday, Mike Slaughter, page 36).

Going with God

Today I had the opportunity to preach at the Base Chapel here at Fairchild AFB, WA.  This was my first chance to preach in almost a year.  Thanks to the chapel staff and all who continue to support my in my ministry in this community and the world.  Just as an aside, this Wednesday, I will begin facilitating an ecumenical group at the chapel in reading The Journey by Adam Hamilton.  We are starting our Advent study early enough to work around the various holidays, and will finish so that we can examine the whole Advent and Christmas story before we get distracted by the busyness of the season.  This scripture and message seemed to be a good introduction to the whole concept of journey.

Sermon - Going With God (November 4, 2012)

The bible is a collection of literature… history, poetry, wisdom, letters, prophecy… no matter what the genre, each book and chapter is written with a solitary purpose in mind – to tell us about the nature of God and his intentions for our relationship with Him.  The book of Ruth is special to me because it’s really just a simple story – a narrative about a woman who found herself as an integral and even necessary part of God’s story.  Read the whole story here:  Ruth 1:1-18


But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.  Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” Ruth 1:16-17

I don’t know about you, but I spend a lot of time trying to control the unpredictability of my life.  Not that I’m all that successful at it, but I do have the illusion on some days that I have a handle on it all.  Twenty years ago, that would have meant something very different than what it means today.  Twenty-five years ago, if you have told me that this would be my life, I would have called you crazy, just to be polite.

I look at the last 25 years and I see a very crooked road.  25 years ago this fall I was in my first year at Duke Divinity School… a 28-year old, second career student with a bachelor’s degree heavy in chemistry and microbiology and 6 years of experience in blood banking.  That was my dream career, all I had wanted since I was in junior high school.  But then the road took a turn, and as far as many were concerned, I was throwing it all away to be a “do good’er.”  Underpaid and taken advantage of, that’s what many people thought my life as a United Methodist minister would be all about.  It was such a foreign concept that a friend at work kept referring to my leaving as “going to the convent.”  She could not understand that I was going to study to be a pastor.  It was just not in her paradigm.

I loved seminary.  But at the end of four years, I was ready to go into the parish … to make a difference in people’s lives.  I thought I would get a couple of small churches in South Carolina – I was hoping to be appointed near Clemson so I could keep my season football tickets.  Instead I went to Summerville, near Charleston, where I was a youth pastor in a large congregation.  It was hard work.  The expectations were high.  The hours were long.  And since I was 32 and not married, no one really expected me to have a personal life.  But quite remarkably, I met a young Air Force pilot in the church choir, and the rest is history.

So in March of 1995 I took on an additional duty, so to speak… I became a military spouse.  At first, being a military spouse didn't really change my life very much.  There was the opportunity to shop on base, and a spouses' meeting every once in a while.  But this was just the calm before the storm.... our first PCS (permanent change of station) changed everything.  My carefully planned life was now coming apart at the seams.  Instead of staying within my home conference to pay my dues and move up in the ranks, I was moving into uncharted territory.

The details are still etched in my memory... driving away to a new life, a new house, and new jobs for both of us.  I was very fortunate to receive a church appointment in southern Illinois... and fortunate again in North Dakota three years later.  But in 2001, the appointment well dried up.  We began a series of one year moves... one year in New Jersey, one year in Georgia, then one year in Alabama.  For the first time since high school, I was not working outside the home.  In my head, I was just somebody's wife, and a big day might include doing laundry, or finding a good deal on chicken breasts at the local store.  We couldn't find a church that felt like home.... I felt cut off from friends and family.... I really didn't know where to turn.

But on September 11, 2001, all of that changed.  My phone started ringing soon after 10:00am.  And as the day went on, a small community formed to ask the questions that everyone asked.  "How could this happen?"  "Where is God in the midst of this tragedy?"  "How do I explain it to my children?"  And it was as if God said, "Just because you're not serving a church doesn't mean that there isn't work for you to do."  From that week's conversations, a bible study was started, true friendships were forged, and I found my way back to my call.

In the Old Testament book of Ruth, we hear a story of a young woman who left behind all that she knew to follow someone she loved and respected. But those heartfelt words from the wedding liturgy are not the words of a woman to her beloved husband... they are the words of a young widow to her mother-in-law as they sought a better life.  Ruth says, "Where you go, I will go..." but she also says, "Your God will be my God," signifying a trust in Naomi’s God to make sense out of a senseless situation.  In reality, Ruth’s detour fulfilled a very different purpose.  And if you read the genealogy of Jesus in the book of Matthew, it becomes evident that God uses Ruth’s faithfulness is a very special way.

We live in a society where "control" is a big issue.  We don't like the feeling of not being in charge.  We want our lives to work the way we have envisioned, planned and designed them to work.  We are like the Israelites… we have rules and they need to be followed.  We are like the Pharisees… we have expectations and they need to be met. But there is something to be said for trusting that our control is not always the best way forward.... for trusting in a higher power - in God - to make something good come from something for which we had no backup plan.

Jesus’ ministry among his disciples brings this kind of trust into new focus.  Jesus called the disciples, and they went with him.  Their behavior and understanding were not always exemplary, but they kept following, day by day, until the Christian church was born.  And while order and disciple can become an entrenched way of life, there is something to be said for being more like the disciples, the ragtag group that they were, and simply pick up our lives and follow Jesus.

At its very core, the story of Ruth is about unconditional trust.  And especially as military families, it’s a story that reminds us that in the midst of the chaos of our lives, we are not alone.  Things have sometimes looked dark… multiple deployments, unfilled professional desires, moving to unexpected places, illness, separation from family, deaths… these are just a few of the challenges and disappointments that I have experienced in the last 20 years.  They may pale in comparison to the struggles you have experienced in your life and faith journey.  But I pray that you, like me, have recognized that in the darkness there has always been a light… a light that reminds me that whatever happens, it is all for good if I just rely on my trust in God.  Maybe that light is found in the prayers of friends and strangers… maybe in a hand or a shoulder… maybe in a kind word which brings peace.

In 1993, I sat before the Board of Ordained Ministry for final approval for ordination.  Their last question and my answer now seem eerily prophetic when I look at my life almost 20 years later.  When asked, “Where do you see your ministry in 10 years?” I sat back, took a deep breath and responded, “You know, I've spent a lot of time telling God what I would and would not do, and he just keeps allowing me to go down roads I never even knew existed.  So…I have no idea where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing in ten years or even five.  But I do pray that wherever it is, whatever I’m doing, that it’s all for him.  And that I trust him enough to follow wherever he leads.”

I cannot be the judge of how well I have followed or led or listened along the way.  But I do hope that I have been a little bit like Ruth, open to the opportunities that came my way, and faithful in living a life of faith in God and Jesus Christ.  Ruth’s story can become our story if we will only let it.  And in the world in which we live today, that takes a lot of faith to commit fully to a life which will probably be filled with twists and turns which we know will happen, but never really expect.

Each of us is on that same journey, a journey to God and a journey for God.  Oh, how much easier it would be if there were a AAA Trip-tik for our faith life – how cool would it be to know where the detours are, and if we could preplan our stopovers along the way.  Maybe vacation planning occasionally works out that way, but it seems that real life never does.  In life, our trust in Christ must become our anchor.  We are fed at the table of Christ’s sacrifice.  We come to worship and bible study together, and form Christian communities so that we can be prepared to face together whatever comes our way.

German reformer Martin Luther once said, “I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess.”  May we all be willing to place our lives and our loves in God’s hands… there are many roads yet left to travel.  Go with God.

In the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit.  Amen.

Old friends are new again...

Facebook has helped me to restore old friendships.  I have found friends from high school, a few from college and seminary - friends from previous churches and military bases.  But perhaps the revived friendships that have most delighted me are with a group of people whom I have known for twenty-one years, and who still call me friend.

I find this especially joyful because I met these friends when they were young... 7th, 8th and 9th grade young... they were the teen members of Bethany United Methodist Church in Summerville, SC.  There I was, in my early thirties, taking my first ministerial appointment out of seminary, moving to a town where I knew almost no one.  I'm not sure what they expected, but I'm pretty sure that their parents expected me to be a leader among them, a good influence on them, and to know what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ.  

Little did they know how scared I was.  Studying about how to do ministry is one thing... actually doing it is another.  I am thankful to my field education churches in Wadesboro, NC and Lancaster, SC for giving me a taste of what youth ministry was all about.  But I am especially grateful to the good people at Bethany UMC for receiving my ministry and helping me to grow into a church leader who would go on to work with college students, youth, and military families.  

About three years ago, I became a member of the Facebook generation.  I really did it as a way to stay in touch with the people in my bible studies and squadrons - a "get out the message quickly" tool and way to know what was going on in people's lives.  One night I got a friend invitation from a former colleague from Bethany.  I was excited to see what was going on in his life, and happy to know that he was happy and healthy and living a good life.

And then the invitations started rolling in... and there they were... my little middle school friends - Kaiti, Melissa, Johannah, Ross, Tony, Lee, Brad, Shannon, Ken, Sarah, Carley & Kim... and through them, their moms and other Bethany friends.  And believe it or not, they are now the age I was when I first met them.  Isn't it funny how 30-something isn't so old anymore.

Some of them are married, some have children - some have stayed close to home, others have ventured far and wide.  Some have found their life's work in the church - others work in education, broadcasting, restaurants, architecture and business - some are stay-at-home parents.  Two are military spouses - let the record reflect that I warned at least one of them that this life is not for the faint of heart.  

And still I marvel at them... that over twenty years later the lessons I tried to teach were absorbed, applied and are now being passed on to their families, their friends and their churches.  I love that they post on my wall even if it's not my birthday, that they chat with me when they see me online sometimes, and that they still sometimes ask me hard questions about faith and life and Jesus.

But more often they give me answers.  The answers come in the ways I see them live their lives, teach their children and work out their problems.  The answers come in the ways they have grown and the ways they make the world a better place.  And while I don't know everything about them, I am honored to be their friend.  Blessings to them and to all who have helped to make me who I am today.  God is good, indeed.

I was trying to think of a passage from scripture which describes friendship... I think this one from Romans 12 captures what I'm trying to say...

[Paul writes:] Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.  Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”  Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he’s thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good. (Romans 12:14-21 The Message)

Peace, Deb

Quotes from The Road to Grace

I've been reading a lot this year... which means I'm getting a lot less quilting and crocheting done, but that's another story.   Anyway, my father-in-law recommended a series by the author Richard Paul Evans, the author of The Christmas Box  and other inspirational stories.

Evans' series began with The Walk, the story of a Seattle ad man, Alan, who looses his wife and his business.  His response to the crisis was to begin walking... from Seattle to Key West.  The first book takes him on foot from Seattle to Spokane... the place where I currently live.  The second book, Miles to Go, follows Alan's journey from Spokane, Washington to Custer, South Dakota.  Book three, The Road to Grace, continues his walk from Custer, South Dakota to St. Louis, Missouri.  I won't spoil the plot, but in it's final pages I read Alan's words and knew that they were meant for me... something to remember when I'm not sure why things are unfolding around me the way they are.  

For most of my life I have thought of grace as a hope of a bright tomorrow in spite of the darkness of today--and this is true. In this way we are all like Pamela, walking a road to grace--hoping for mercy. What we fail to realize is that grace is more than our destination, it is the journey itself, manifested in each breath and with each step we take. Grace surrounds us, whirls about us like the wind, falls on us like rain. Grace sustains us on our journeys, no matter how perilous they may be and, make no mistake, they are all perilous. We need not hope for grace, we merely need to open our eyes to its abundance. Grace is all around us, not just in the hopeful future but in the miracle of now.   Richard Paul Evans, The Road to Grace, p. 232.

How do we see grace around us?  How to we receive it?  How do we live it out?  This must be what a life's journey is all about.  And what is so lacking in the world around us.  

Now I have to wait until Spring 2013 for the fourth book to come out... but until then I have a lot to think about and a lot to do.  I'm sure it will be worth the wait.

Peace, Deb

Little things matter

We're settling into our new life and today I was thinking about some of the things that have made my life a little happier.  They are simple gestures that say, "You matter."  I'm going to try to incorporate more of these in my life every chance I get, hopefully to make life better for me and those I know & love.

* Choose to be positive... it will make your life and the lives around you much more pleasant.
* Offer a warm welcome to a new neighbor, even if you're moving in a few days or months.  It makes a great first impression of their new home and you may make a new friend.
* If your friends move away, find their new address and send them a card so that they can get some mail that's not a bill soon after they move in.
* Thank you notes are much appreciated for gifts given and gestures of friendship... even if you said "thank you" in person... and even if you're related to them.
* Say "please" and "thank you."  I'm always surprised when it seems to mean so much to people.

They are little things, indeed, but the difference they make is immeasurable.  This little graphic says it all...

Peace, Deb

Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things.  ~Author Unknown

 John 13:34-35 [Jesus said,] "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other."

Just when you thought you knew...

I had an "AH-HA" moment this week.  It was actually kind of shocking.

You know how you think you know something, absolutely for sure?  It's a given - it's the truth now, it's always been the truth - you know it so well that you don't even think about it even more.  You know?

Well, this week my world got turned upside down in an unimportant, but surprising way.  I found out that .... my husband's favorite pie is apple, or peach, or sweet potato, or anything with rhubarb... but it's not cherry, which is what I've always thought it was.  Wow!

This conversation came up after I spent several hours in an orchard in NE Washington state picking about 23 pound of cherries to put up for use during the rest of the year.  It's not that he didn't appreciate my efforts - he gave me lots of praise.  It's not that he doesn't like cherry pie, because just about any homemade pie is like a little piece of heaven.  It's just that we've been married over 17 years and I thought that cherry was his favorite.

And then he reminded me that cherry is MY favorite, or at least one of them.  Oops.

And so I did what any good partner would do.  I made him an apple pie... and served it with vanilla ice cream and whipped cream.  And put several pieces in the freezer, so that they can be thawed and consumed at any time.

And so then I asked myself the question, "What else do you think you know?"

Maybe it's a good thing to have our preconceived notions upset or challenged... to learn something new, or admit to making a mistake.  Relationships and communities are built on being honest and sharing ourselves in authentic ways.  

The world keeps telling us that things are black and white - that we have to live inside a box - that rules were not meant to be broken.  But relationships grow and change, and if we're honest and willing to see it all through, living a little grey will help us to grow and give us a stronger foundation on which to go forward into the world.

Early in my ministry career I had several people say to me, "I don't believe that women should be preachers, so I'll never consider you to be my pastor."  And as surprised as I was with that kind of honesty, I was glad that the Spirit provided me with a response that has been a blessing every time... "That's OK, let's just be friends."  While shocked at my response, no one ever turned me down.  Those starting friendships often blossomed and in time, each new friend introduced me to someone saying, "This is Deb, she is my pastor." 

I find that the more I think I know, the more I have to learn.  Instead of living in the box all the time, I have found that questions might just make the box bigger, instead of finding me outside it bounds. I hope that my willingness to change and adapt is seen as a strength and not a weakness.  But how do we know when it's time to hold ground and when it's time to update our thinking?

For me, there are not hard and fast rules, as long as I continue to live according to my understanding of who God has called me to be.  Love God, love neighbor, love self - and all for the glory of God.  It is impossible for human beings to find 100% agreement on every idea regarding faith, family and life.  But when we are at our best, we find a middle ground.  We figure out how to make a life together and we do it out of love for God and love for each other.  Relationships with our spouses, our family members, our friends and our enemies are often defined by what we are willing to give up in order that others might find joy and.or peace.  When challenged, we find that many things that we thought were really important are, in reality, just things, or ideas, or habits of doing things a particular way.  And when push comes to shove, we often have to choose between competing ideas, all in the practice of Godly love.

[Jesus said,] "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other." John 13:34-35 (The Message)

This is the high bar that is set for all of us.  And God's gives us the ability to choose how to live out that love in our own lives.  My life looks very different from most of yours, and that's a good thing.  But it is my hope and prayer that our choices will draw us closer together and not put up walls that will keep us from supporting one another as we live our faith in the world today.

Peace, Deb

"Take a deep breath, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again." Frank Sinatra

"Strangers are just friends waiting to happen." Rod McKuen, Looking for a Friend

"God always has another custard pie up his sleeve." Lynn Redgrave

Merrily we rolled along...

I will not bore you with many pictures of our recent trip across the United States.  But I have to say that I was constantly amazed at the sights and sounds of our journey west.  In these ten days, I visited four new states and visited three important national parks and/or memorials.  I am so glad that we decided to take a little extra time to include these amazing places on our itinerary.  We will remember them for a life time.

We did get to visit with family as we went to pick up Shawn's dad in Michigan.  Tim was such a great help to us, both in driving and in helping get the house unpacked in record time.  And as we begin our new life in Washington state, we look back fondly over the last several weeks and savor the time we had to just be...

After eating German food with my sister and her family
(minus nephew Zach who was at gardening camp)
Columbus, OH

Butterfly House, Columbus, OH

We are a little corny, don't you think?
Mitchell, SD

The one and only Corn Palace
Mitchell, SD

Not a cloud in the sky
Mount Rushmore National Monument, SD

Are you sure we'll fit through there?
Custer State Park, SD

Old Faithful was right on time!

Boiling volcanic mud 

near Old Faithful, Yellowstone

Bacteria, sulfur deposits and the sun make for beautiful colors
Old Faithful Geyser Basin, Yellowstone

And eye or a mouth?
Yellowstone National Park, WY

Lower Falls
Yellowstone National Park, WY

The happy trio
Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone

Mammoth Hot Springs, Upper Terrace
where the rock grows at an average rate of 1/4 inch per day

Mammoth Hot Springs, Lower Terrace
Color means the rock is still growing, alive with bacteria and rock being
deposited - white means water is not flowing there and the rock
is not growing, at least this week - the landscape changes quickly

Norris Geyser Basin in the morning (about 50F)
In the afternoon it just looks like an empty field

I am pretty sure that I would not have seen all of these amazing things if the Air Force had not given us this opportunity to move West.  And while we are usually in the habit of pressing on without a break, this year we decided to stop along the way to see new places.  Ansad I'm SO glad we did.

I have lived most of my life on the East coast... the other side of the country felt very far away, and somewhere you'd only visit by airplane.  But driving through "new country," South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana and Washington, I was often speechless over the beauty and diversity of our beautiful country.  Mount Rushmore brought a new dimension to the idea of patriotism.  Our visits to The Badlands and Yellowstone National Parks helped me to appreciate both my science and theology roots - they seem to fit seamlessly together as I looked across the barren plains and sniffed the sulfur-filled air.

So this message is especially for people who think that Wyoming or Montana are too far away and/or not as interesting as Disney World.  Please reconsider!  This country is vast and beautiful and there many sights that cannot be truly appreciated through video, photos or descriptions.  I can't wait to visit Glacier National Park sometime soon, and to go back to Yellowstone, maybe in the winter.  There are so many new things so see.

Peace, Deb

The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.  ~ attributed to St. Augustine


The traveler was active; he went strenuously in search of people, of adventure, of experience.  The tourist is passive; he expects interesting things to happen to him.  He goes "sight-seeing."  ~ Daniel J. Boorstin, Librarian of  Congress from 1975 to 1987


To get away from one's working environment is, in a sense, to get away from one's self; and this is often the chief advantage of travel and change.  ~ Charles Horton Cooley, sociologist

Look Down Below

We all have seen picture of the historic monument, Mount Rushmore.  It shows the faces of four of our most celebrated presidents.  Can you name them?  That's right... Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt, forever enshrined in stone, looking out on the American landscape, anchoring us in the past, and looking into the future.  Each provided leadership at a crossroads in American history.  Each define the greatness of the presidency.  Carved in a granite mountainside, they are an iconic picture of the United States, recognized by many Americans and on many people's list of things to see in their lifetimes.

What you don't see lies at the foot of the sculpture... tons and tons of granite, blasted, carved and chiseled by the work of hundreds of craftsmen who spent eleven years working on bringing these faces out of the mountain in which they were hidden.  The mountain cradles among its ruins the portrait of a strong, undefeated America.

I loved walking along the Monument Trail around the base of the rock, seeing the iconic memorial from a brand new perspective.  The president's faces can each be seen individually, framed by blue sky and the branches of trees growing at the base of the enormous sculpture.  They say that 90% of the rock of Mount Rushmore was blasted off with dynamite.  The rest of was pounded off with drills and jackhammers - only the last 1/2 inch was finessed off by sanding, which gives the presidents their smooth complexions. 

And I thought about how much the story of this great American place is just like the story of our lives.  About how we too are start out as blank slates, and how often our personalities and personas are formed not by little bits being broken off gently, but blasted off in big chunks by the crises and disasters of our lives.  Those remnants lay in ruin around our feet, not as a sign of defeat, but as a remembrance of the work and determination that have gone into to shaping us into the people that we become.

No one lives a life without some kind of hardship... if they say they do, then maybe they aren't really living.  Taking chances, making mistakes, weathering hardships... these are the times that build character and define our choices.  

These four presidents presided over times of great transition in our country.  Transitions that tested what people were made of... and they ushered in new eras of peace and intellectual ideas and sometimes even wealth.  Their ideas and leadership were often considered radical.  They were loved by most and reviled by many.  And the United Stated of America would not be who she is today with even one of them.  

Visiting Mount Rushmore National Memorial reminded me that patriotism is not just spoken about, but lived in everyday lives.  Patriotism is not just about flag waving, but about making contributions to our communities and families that make a difference in positive, enduring ways.  

I did not expect that visiting this monument would be so emotional for me, but I was moved to tears as I stepped out on the terrace to stand in full view of this amazing, wonderful tribute to four men who made a difference.  I knew intellectually that 400 men and an immigrant stone carver had worked to make a legacy here.  But I didn't know until I stood in front of it what a distinctive, improbable contribution they had made to life in this country.  They didn't know how it would all turn out.  And they did it anyway.

We often wonder if what we do makes a difference.  And maybe we won't make splashes in any ponds anytime soon, or even ever.  But we can't accomplish anything if we don't take a chance.  And doing big things takes teamwork, and trust, and sometimes going against conventional wisdom.  In the end, we are rewarded... sometimes with a result, but always with the experience.

Peace, Deb

“It is every man's obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it.”  ~ Albert Einstein

“Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.”  ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

“Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.”  ~ Swedish Proverb

On Being Left Behind...

No, not that kind of "left behind" - like "Oops, Jesus came back and I'm still here."

I'm talking about when many of your friends move on to new adventures and you are still in the same old place.  But it's not the same, because your friends moving away creates a space that begs to be filled.  I'll admit that I haven't been the one left behind very often.  We seem to be a little hyperactive on the moving scale right now.  But I do remember being the one left behind a couple of years ago.  All of a sudden, my coffee buddies were gone. I could no longer see my neighbor sitting on her back porch sipping tea and waving me over. The people who knew the inside jokes were gone.  No Abbot to my Costello anymore.

Many tears were shed at those goodbyes... tears of joy for memories and friendships made... tears of sadness for the hole that would be left... tears of anxiety for the unknown.  But they day after the last "best" friend left, the sun still came up, the wind still blew (it was Oklahoma, after all) and there was still the work that filled my days.  And soon, new friendships were born... new inside jokes... new front porch ice tea drinking... like was good, just different.

This week I thought about all my friends who are also moving and wanted to remind them of the blessings in store.  Here is the message I sent to many of them: "Just a thought for all of my friends, both ministry and military, who are preparing to move in the next few weeks. God is already in your new location preparing for your arrival. It will be grand if you just keep that in mind."  I received a lot of affirmation that this was just what they were feeling, too.

But someone also reminded me that God is also staying behind, to bless the lives of those left - to help them adopt a new routine and figure out a new normal.  I look back on that time and see how blessed I was to be the one left behind.  I knew where things were.  I had info about shopping and dentists and traffic patterns.  Having been the "new kid" on the block many times, I've always been glad when someone shared valuable information that helped make my life easier or my transition smoother.  I tried to be that person for a while.

That doesn't happen all the time.  When we moved recently, our new neighbor said, "Let us know if you have an emergency, but if you're only here for a year, it's just too hard to get to know you to only say goodbye so soon."  How do you respond to that?  I said, "OK, thanks for letting me know."

Change is hard.  Routine is our friend.  But whether we are going or staying, life's little jostles and reconfigurations remind us that we are not always in control of the circumstances or outcomes.  And one of the most important lessons I have learned is to not take that personally.  Things often do not go the way I expect them do, or want them to, but with an open mind and heart, all things can work for good, if we will only look for ways to help that happen.  That doesn't mean it's easy, but it does mean that we have to be intentional in our actions - offensive instead of defensive - pro instead of con - and willing to see the possibilities in our new situations, not just the losses we can tend to focus on.

With change comes both joy and sadness, sometimes accompanied by relief and panic.  Our emotions can be all over the place, but one thing I do know...

We are not alone... blessings are waiting; we just have to be willing to receive them.  Whether staying or going, life is good if we will only live it to its fullest potential.

Peace, Deb

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.  ~ Anatole France

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.  ~Robert C. Gallagher

Why I want Tiger Woods to play well...

I love to watch golf on TV.  I don't know why.  I've never played golf a day in my life.  I drove around in a golf cart following my husband one day (his first and only game), but I don't think that counts.  Anyway, whenever golf is on TV, I am drawn to it like a moth to a flame.  So it should come as no surprised that I was a little disappointed when our TV's got packed up before the coverage of this year's US Open was broadcast.

No worries... technology is my friend.  I found that I could log on to www.usopen.com and not only find out how the players were doing, but could actually watch live coverage right there on my laptop screen.  And there they were.... Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson playing in the same threesome with this year's Masters champion Bubba Watson.  Three of the most dynamic and celebrated golfers competing against the field, each other and themselves.  Tiger had a good day... Phil and Bubba, not so much.  And on Friday, Tiger continued to play well and ended the day tied for first place.

Play has started today, on Saturday, and Tiger is struggling a bit.  And that makes me sad.  Because I want Tiger to play well, to come back and win... this tournament and many more, because like it or not, he is one of the most amazing players the sport of golf has ever seen.

Now that's not to say that he hasn't had his share of trouble.  His personal and professional troubles are well documented and much debated, so we won't go into them here.  Many people think that he may never get his mojo back... that he's washed up at 36, unable to get back to his previous, glorious form.  But others, like me, want him to do well... to get his swing back and his act together.  And not just because he's Tiger Woods, but because everyone has the potential to really mess up their lives.

Sometimes it's just dumb luck that keeps our acts together.  Sometimes we are able to talk our way out of the messes we make.  Sometimes we learn from our mistakes.  And sometimes we don't.  And so my reason for wanting Tiger to play well is simple....

I want to believe that our mistakes and failures do not define us.  I want to believe that forgiveness is possible.  I want to believe that we can come back and be even better than we were before.  I want to believe that life doesn't end because we do things that are really stupid and extraordinarily destructive.  I want to believe that we can learn lessons from our tragedies, and that we can come back ready to begin again.

Sociologist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross is best known for her work on death and dying.  But she also studied how people deal with adversity, believing that we learn the best lessons about ourselves and others through our challenges, not from our successes.

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

I want to be that kind of beautiful person.

I don't know how Tiger's tournament will end.  Or his season, or his career.  Only time will tell.  But I do know that he is now more like the rest of us... a flawed human being with incredible talent, just living life one day at a time and trying to make it to the other side.  Let's hope we all learn our lessons along the way.

Peace, Deb

When written in Chinese the word "crisis" is composed of two characters - one represents danger and the other represents opportunity.  ~ John F. Kennedy, address, 12 April 1959

Adversity is the first path to truth.  ~ Lord Byron

What moving teaches me...

Our packers come tomorrow, so we have been preparing for their arrival.  I know that we are incredibly blessed to have professional movers help make our shipment safe and efficient.  But in the last 10 moves we have determined that there are some things we can do to help facilitate a good unpack on the other end.  That includes keeps the original boxes for every small appliance and piece of electronics we own.  Yes, they take up a lot of room.  But things arrive safely, so I really can't complain.  

I always learn something about myself, my husband or my marriage in this process.  I thought I'd share some of these with you.

1 - Cooking is one of my passions.  And it shows in my collection of pots, pans, skillets, baking dishes, and pie plates that grace by cupboards.  Nobody really needs 6 pie plates, you say?  One day in Oklahoma I baked 14 pies in one day.  You can never have enough pie plates.

2 - Some clothes never go out of style.  I found a couple of dresses that I have had for over 15 years.  They are classically styled and as soon as I loose another 15 pounds I think I'll be able to wear them with pride.  Of course, there are also clothes that went out of style and have now come back.  Not sure why they brought back the maxi dress this summer.  If you're short, it's just an accident waiting to happen.

3 - Some books are here forever.  I still have a lot of books that I got in seminary or in the few years after when I was building my collection.  And I have about 25 novels that I have collected and will pull out and read again and again.  We bought three 7-foot bookcases a few years ago and I thought that I would be able to pare down the volumes to fit into their confines.  It's just not happening.  I'm going to have to find a bookcase for my husband and take over the shelves that he allotted for himself.   This item causes a little friction in our house.  I am the person who reads a book, and if it becomes my friend, I will never give it away.  Others think that any book read once has accomplished its mission in life and needs to be given a new home.  I'll let you guess who is who.

4 - I love my technology.  DVRs (digital video recoders) are my best friends.  I love "taping" lots of stuff and then keeping up with lots of stories.  All of this started when my grandmother introduced me to General Hospital when I was in the 8th grade (yes, I still watch).  Friday nights in college were spent watching DALLAS before going out to have a good time.  I never missed NYPD Blue or The West Wing, and now I'm pretty addicted to SMASH and Castle (which are on at the same time), NCIS and Bones.  Wireless internet, email and social networking.  They all feed into my extrovert side, helping me to be connect to people and to story no matter the location or time of day.

5 - My husband and I love each other a lot.  Moving is hard - physically, emotionally, spiritually.  And it's hard on relationships, because control all but goes out the window.  I live in two worlds where people move a lot - the military and the church.  So it's normal, but it's never easy.  The key to our success is in being honest when conflicts arise, not assuming your partner knows what you're thinking, and choosing your battles.  Are you  really willing to go to the mat over curtains?  Okay, sometimes you are, but choose well and don't use up all your goodwill in one day.

Here's to all of the friends that are also in the same process, maybe more this year than I can ever remember.  Some are moving a couple of hundred miles, others are literally taking planes, cars and ferries to their new homes.  No matter what your destination, I wish you well in the process, in the journey, and in establishing a new chapter in your lives.  It will be grand.

Peace, Deb

PS - in case you were wondering: SC to IL, IL to ND, ND to NJ, NJ to GA, GA to AL, AL to Germany, Germany to OK, OK to OK (new house - yes, it counts), OK to RI, RI to VA, now VA to WA... who knows where next.

Moving on... again & and a few Thank You's

Summer is just around the corner, and for the third year in a row we will be packing up our worldly possessions and moving to a new life.  It's a great thing. My husband has received a wonderful Air Force assignment, and we are really looking forward to all of the new friendships and challenges ahead.

That being said, I'm not looking forward to the next few weeks.  It's the actually moving part that is hard for me.  It's physically challenging - and this year we're in a three story house so there will be LOTS of stairs.  There's the saying "goodbye" to all of my friends, old and new.  There's the 3000 mile drive, although we will get to see family, friends and new sights along the way, so it's not a total negative.  And then there's the unpacking part - finding a place for all of our stuff.  Add to that learning the new place, new roads, and making new friendships along the way... it's really quite overwhelming to think about.

All of this can be quite draining, both physically and emotionally.  And yet, we have done this long enough to know that it will be OK.  Even the locations which seemed to be less desirable were filled with the most amazing blessings.  And everywhere we have made or resumed wonderful friendships, seen amazing sights, and left to go on to new endeavors much richer than when we came.

We hear a lot of negative news these days.  Many people think that our society has lost some of its luster...  that we are not the people we used to be.  But I will continue to believe in the goodness of people, of the possibility of community, and in the promise of the future because I have experienced it so many times in the past.  I know that this new journey is not a gift to be presented to me, but something that I will not just participate in, but throw myself into full force.  That doesn't mean that I am without fear, but I also know that I do not go alone.

I am so thankful for all of the people who support me along this journey of life and faith.  It's those friendships and acquaintances which make all of this moving around worth the struggle and the really hard work.  I love my military spouse friends.  I am in awe of your strength, your bravery, and your willingness to share your lives with people you know will move away some day soon.  I am convinced that Facebook and Skype were invented for us, so that we could be a family even if we are far apart.

I love my church and ministry friends.  You pray for me, teach me, challenge me, and expect me to be faithful to my call to love and serve.  I could not do this without you.  Please remember me and know that I remember and love each of you.  You are a blessing and a force to be reckoned with in this world.

And then there's my family, by birth and by marriage.  Most of you didn't choose me, but make the best of sometimes rocky relationships and living far apart.  I am so glad that we continue to matter to one another.  And I look forward to our love growing stronger as our time together goes on.  I can't even begin to talk about my wonderful spouse, who woke up one day and said, "I've got to marry her!"  It's been quite the journey, and I'm sure the best is yet to come.

And last, but not least, here's to the friends who are yet unknown.  Our time is yet to come, but I have a feeling it will be great if we will give it half a chance. See you soon!

Peace, Deb

Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly  knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence. 

  Pope John Paul II

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things,  because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. 

Walt Disney

It's all about perspective...

We returned to Europe for vacation before we move to the West Coast this summer.  We had a wonderful time.  We visited with life-long friends (American and German), ate wonderful food, saw things we had never seen before, and were reminded of how much our family lives on autopilot.  Thank goodness for the opportunity to just get away. We were also reminded of wonderful memories of our recent past and learned  of history made long before the Americas were colonized and brought into the "civilized" world.

Here's a truth that I am reminded of once again...

For Americans, 100 miles is short and 100 years is long.  For Europeans, 100 years is short and 100 miles is long.

Speyer Dom, 

Standing in the middle of the Cathedral (Dom) in Speyer, Germany, this never seemed more true.  A fortress church built between 1025 and 1061, it's walls are between 10 and 21 foot thick, so as to be able to hold off invading armies.  And it was the last big cathedral built before the Eastern and Western Churches split in 1054. Think about that... this church building is over 1000 years old and still sits majestically on the banks of the Rhine river.  It is the largest Romanesque-style cathedral still in existence today, and its architecture influenced all of the large churches built in the 11th and 12th centuries.  And it's not just a building... it's a vital Roman Catholic congregation, worshiping and working in the community and sharing their love for Christ with all who enter their doors.

Or how about this cool motorcycle guy?  He is a replica of one the characters in Easy Rider... but he's not just a motorcycle rider... he was created out of parts from old motorcycles.... from far away he's nostalgic... but up close he's amazing!

Visiting Germany is a little like going back in time.  Some things seem not to change.  And yet, there are the modern conveniences that we love... like internet and GPS and Coke Light.  We went into a small German restaurant one evening - the frescoes on the outside of the building indicated that it had been open since 1756.  We were very proud that we could still order from a German menu and as we waited for our wonderful food, we realized that playing in the background was a soundtrack of easy listening music, including Elton John, Prince and Adele...musical trends must be universal.

Living in Europe and visiting again has really helped me to get things into perspective.  It reminds me that my view of the world is not the only view of the world.  Others have different perspectives that are informed by their own experiences.  And some of my best experiences, and my most meaningful times of personal growth, have come from seeing and experiencing the world through someone else's eyes.  Not judging it by the standards of my life, but seeing the world in a new way, and always coming away richer in the process.  This is really hard sometimes because our own experiences give us a sense of boundary and expectation.  We become accustomed to ourselves in the reflection of our little, mirrored world.  But who wants to be like a koi, a small type of goldfish that will only grow to the size of its pond and no larger.  Amazing things can happen, lives can be changed, and the world made a better place if we can only be brave enough to examine the world through someone else's life.

In truth, we all have so much in common.  We want the same things... a good life, friendship, love, respect. My life is so much fuller, so much sweeter, so much more complete because I have learned that "new" isn't better or worse - just different.  Thanks to all of those who have shared their lives - to all who have challenged me - to all who have coaxed me out of my shell and welcomed me into a brave, new world.

I think our biggest challenge in life is to be open to all the new people and places and foods and experiences we can, to learn the lessons that they teach, and to end each day a little different than we started.

Peace, Deb

“All great changes are preceded by chaos.” -Deepak Chopra

“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

“All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.” –Walt Disney