On Being Left Behind...

No, not that kind of "left behind" - like "Oops, Jesus came back and I'm still here."

I'm talking about when many of your friends move on to new adventures and you are still in the same old place.  But it's not the same, because your friends moving away creates a space that begs to be filled.  I'll admit that I haven't been the one left behind very often.  We seem to be a little hyperactive on the moving scale right now.  But I do remember being the one left behind a couple of years ago.  All of a sudden, my coffee buddies were gone. I could no longer see my neighbor sitting on her back porch sipping tea and waving me over. The people who knew the inside jokes were gone.  No Abbot to my Costello anymore.

Many tears were shed at those goodbyes... tears of joy for memories and friendships made... tears of sadness for the hole that would be left... tears of anxiety for the unknown.  But they day after the last "best" friend left, the sun still came up, the wind still blew (it was Oklahoma, after all) and there was still the work that filled my days.  And soon, new friendships were born... new inside jokes... new front porch ice tea drinking... like was good, just different.

This week I thought about all my friends who are also moving and wanted to remind them of the blessings in store.  Here is the message I sent to many of them: "Just a thought for all of my friends, both ministry and military, who are preparing to move in the next few weeks. God is already in your new location preparing for your arrival. It will be grand if you just keep that in mind."  I received a lot of affirmation that this was just what they were feeling, too.

But someone also reminded me that God is also staying behind, to bless the lives of those left - to help them adopt a new routine and figure out a new normal.  I look back on that time and see how blessed I was to be the one left behind.  I knew where things were.  I had info about shopping and dentists and traffic patterns.  Having been the "new kid" on the block many times, I've always been glad when someone shared valuable information that helped make my life easier or my transition smoother.  I tried to be that person for a while.

That doesn't happen all the time.  When we moved recently, our new neighbor said, "Let us know if you have an emergency, but if you're only here for a year, it's just too hard to get to know you to only say goodbye so soon."  How do you respond to that?  I said, "OK, thanks for letting me know."

Change is hard.  Routine is our friend.  But whether we are going or staying, life's little jostles and reconfigurations remind us that we are not always in control of the circumstances or outcomes.  And one of the most important lessons I have learned is to not take that personally.  Things often do not go the way I expect them do, or want them to, but with an open mind and heart, all things can work for good, if we will only look for ways to help that happen.  That doesn't mean it's easy, but it does mean that we have to be intentional in our actions - offensive instead of defensive - pro instead of con - and willing to see the possibilities in our new situations, not just the losses we can tend to focus on.

With change comes both joy and sadness, sometimes accompanied by relief and panic.  Our emotions can be all over the place, but one thing I do know...

We are not alone... blessings are waiting; we just have to be willing to receive them.  Whether staying or going, life is good if we will only live it to its fullest potential.

Peace, Deb

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.  ~ Anatole France

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.  ~Robert C. Gallagher