The meaning of real perfection

Christmas looks a lot different around my house these days.  Oh, don't get me wrong - there are still lots of decorations - the stockings that Aunt Neva made for our first Christmas, trees filled with ornaments that hold memories of our childhoods and times together.  There will still be a gathering or two, our advent wreath and Jesse Tree observances... parties to attend, gifts to send, and more memories to be made.  But in the last few years, we have decided that our Advent preparations and Christmas celebrations are meant to be enjoyed.  So fretting has gone out the window, and we have tried to discover the joy in each activity that we undertake.  It doesn't mean we're not busy - it just means that we're a whole lot happier along the way.

In his book, Christmas Is Not Your Birthday, United Methodist pastor and author, Mike Slaughter sets out an exercise in re-examining our understanding and celebration of Christmas.  His premise: the season (and life) should be about experiencing the joy of living and giving like Jesus.  He calls us on many of our bad habits - purchasing gifts out of obligation, buying outside the limit of our budgets, and not sharing a part of our celebration with those who have real need.  It's been a really good read, and it's really enhanced my Advent devotional time.  One of the chapters is entitled, "Giving Up on Perfect."  Until recently, we have had a problem with that in our house... Sometimes I feel that I just can't live up to the expectations of those around me... my spouse, included.  It's getting better, day by day, because we have been willing to go to the uncomfortable place of talking about the things that cause strife in our relationship.  And with love, we have been able to sometimes compromise and other times concede to the other's wants and needs.  In the end, we realized that our difference make us stronger... and to not be offended if the other doesn't meet our standards, which are probably unrealistic to begin with.

When we look at the Christmas story, we think that it's the perfect story.  But I'll bet that Mary and Joseph would beg to differ.  Their lives were turned totally upside down.  The journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem was treacherous and long - 10 days of walking through difficult terrain and barren wilderness.  Their birthing  accommodations were less than optimal - but offered privacy and safety from the hustle of the growing crowds.  They stayed in Bethlehem for a lot longer than we imagine - long enough for shepherds and magi to arrive, and for an angel visitation to send them on to a safer place in Egypt, emigrants who would not return home for several years.

It took several hundred years for a theology to develop around the mysterious person of Mary, the mother of the Savior.  Now she is surrounded by words like "immaculate conception" and "perpetual virginity," but in the Christmas story from the gospels of Luke and Matthew, she is just Mary, a young woman who was willing to receive an unexpected call.  She was not chosen because she perfect, but she was favored - she was available, believing what the angel messenger told her, "With God, nothing is impossible."

In the English language, we have defined the word perfect by assuming that it means without flaw or messiness. But the word has a much deeper meaning.  Perfection is about fulfillment of purpose.  It is about accomplishment, even if the result is not one that we expect.  It is about finishing what we start, and going on to do something more.

Likewise, Christian perfection is about being all that God created us to be.  Spiritually, we are called to enter into mission wherever we are... to ask more questions and need fewer answers... to live with humility... to stop expecting superhuman feats of strength and moral character from ourselves and others... to react to our circumstances instead of molding our situations to fit our own needs.

So, how do we put these ideas into practice?  First, give up the idea of doing things perfectly - and just do them with love.  In his book, Every Good Endeavor, pastor Tim Keller talks about understanding our work as an extension of God's work.  Whether you are a homemaker, a company CEO, or milk cows for a living, believe that your work is integral to the work of God on this earth.  Second, have the difficult talk about expectations.  Swallowing our anger, disappointments and failures causes more problems that it solves, for ourselves and for others.  The people who love us will not abandon us because we speak out... and those that do turn away do not know real love.  And third, living out love may mean living large - but even more it means living small.  The grand gesture is wonderful and greatly appreciated, but it's the everyday small tasks done in love that keep the world going.  Doing laundry, packing lunches, giving someone a ride, holding someone's hand, crying with someone in their pain - all of these acts of kindness are ways of living out God's presence with others.

Love is the key to it all.  At the end of the day, we have keep reminding ourselves that God has a special work for each of us.  Like Mary, we are called to do the unlikely and unexpected.  Just keep telling yourself this, "I am not perfect - I am favored.  And this is all that I need."  Thanks be to God.

Peace, Deb

Life is not about staying safe and living comfortably.  The call to follow Jesus is a call to give your life to him, to join God's mission in healing the souls of the world.  We were never promised a reward in this life.  The real rewards are found in the joy and peace that we experience through serving others in Christ's spirit.  This is why we can pray with Mary, " I am your servant, Lord.  Regardless of what comes my way, let it be done according to your will, even when the angels disappear."

Even in the midst of the unexpected, the messy, and the devastating  you can still fully expect God to show up.  No matter what you are struggling to overcome, God promises to show up.  This is truly what Christmas is all about: in the midst of all of our messes - poverty, genocide, environmental disasters, wars, terrorism, religious hate and bigotry, divorce, cancer, and yes, even death, God shows up!  (Christmas Is Not Your Birthday, Mike Slaughter, page 36).