On Leaving a Legacy

Lee Ann & me in Rome

A tribute to my other mother

My husband’s mother died a month ago after a difficult battle with breast cancer. When people ask us how we’re doing we often reply, “Fine,” but what we really mean is, “Still trying to figure that out.” She fought hard to the very end because she had so many other things that she wanted to accomplish… things to do, places to go and people to be with. She wanted to be present in all the places that mattered to her. It was just too soon… and now we are all left to figure out where to go from here. The good news is that she did not leave us without a legacy. Her influence will live on in each of us… through her spirit, her passion, and in all the lives that she touched. Here are some of the people that are recipients of Lee Ann Teagan’s legacy.

Her family: Lee Ann was a great wife and mother. She was the ultimate hostess and gift-giver. She taught us that little things matter, like flowers and table decorations and making sure that there’s enough food for everyone. Her definition of family was big. It included aunts and uncles and cousins and all of their children on every occasion… and because of her we think of ourselves as one big, mostly happy, family, not just little families who happen to be related. If you asked her how many children she had, she always said, “Four – Shawn and Lori Ann, and their spouses Deb & Mike.” I loved that she never referred to me as an in-law… although Mike and I usually refer to ourselves as The Outlaws.

Her friends: I can’t tell you how many people have told us or written to us to say the same thing… Lee Ann was a wonderful friend. She had the right combination of support and honesty. If you didn’t want to hear the truth, you were wise not to ask. And she was fiercely loyal. She taught each of her friends how to be a true friend. She was pretty good at forgiving and apologizing – most of us aren’t – and she wanted the best for everyone. If something good happened to you, she didn’t get jealous, she just bragged about you to everyone she knew.

Her students and fellow teachers: Lee Ann’s legacy might live strongest with her students and fellow teachers, only because there are so many of them. Lee Ann’s gift for treating children with respect and honor was so much fun to watch. She was always surprised with a child when he learned something that she knew he could figure out for himself. And she was never surprised when a child came up with something she had never seen before. She was unflappable, and it’s one of the things that made her so good at what she did. We figured out that in 37 years as a preschool teacher, she had over 1400 students, just in the classroom at Troy Co-op Preschool. And she taught something to all of those parents and grandparents and special persons, too. Some of her students even brought their own children to be her students, taking leadership roles in the school that had done so much to make them who they are today.

The apostle Paul wrote most of his letters to people and churches that were trying to establish a new legacy for themselves and the people who came after them. According to Paul’s writings, they often struggled along the way. To the Corinthians, he taught about unity and spiritual gifts. To the Ephesians, he wrote about caring for others as a response to God’s handiwork in our own lives. To the Philippians, he preached God’s presence and gifts in all circumstances. I find great peace and guidance in his closing words from this letter:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8-9 NIV 2011)

How many of us are thinking about our legacy? I’m guessing that we don’t think about it very much because we’re just trying to get through today, or tomorrow, or next week. But what would we change about how we live if we asked ourselves these questions:

• What does my life look like to others?
• Is my faith and mission evident even when I’m not saying a word?
• Does my life build people up or tear them down?
• When I die, will people even remember or care that I lived?

We will leave a legacy whether we intend to or not. What will yours look like? It’s not too late to decide.

Peace in Christ, Deb