About Life Long Learning

I'm taking a class at my husband's school this semester.  They offer the spouses of students and faculty the opportunity to audit elective classes, and this time I took them up on it.  So far, I'm even writing the papers due each week.  Let me tell you, it's a lot harder than I thought it would be... not the subject matter, so much, but the process of keeping up with the reading, thinking critically about the material covered, and processing it all enough to make an attempt to say something at least a little intelligent about what I am learning.  It's one thing to teach a class on something you know... it's a whole different process to learn something new, especially when it opens doors to new ways of thinking and understanding.

So I've been wondering why I'm so worried about doing well in this class.  It's not like I'm going to get a grade.  I haven't paid any money - even the books were free (actually, we have to give them back, like we did in high school).  But still, I read, I write, I delete and I write again.  Week 4 and I'm still wanting to make a good impression.

Oh, maybe that's it... maybe I want the teacher and the other students (all military professionals) to think that I belong there with them.  Maybe I want to contribute something valuable to the discussion.  Or maybe, deep down, I just want to make sure that I am still teachable.  Can I learn something new?  Something that challenges my previously held beliefs?  Am I able to grow past the place where I am comfortable?  Can I take what I learn and incorporate it into my life in a way that it meaningful for me and for others?

"What's the class?" you ask.  For today's discussion that's really unimportant - we may talk about that later.  This conversation is really more about who I am and what kind of learner I want to be.  Do I only want to learn what I'm already comfortable knowing, or am I able to stretch and incorporate new ideas and opinions?  Am I only in this for what it can do for me, or am I willing to challenge others with what I learn and help them grow, too?

I hope and pray that I am a lifelong learner.  I don't want to be one of those people who thinks, "I've got all the answers so don't confuse me with new facts."  This world is filled with new ideas, ones that challenge my own beloved notions of who I am, what the world around me is like, and who God is calling me to be.  If there is anything I have learned in 20 years as a pastor and 16 years as an Air Force spouse, it's that there are always more things to learn and more ways to love God, no matter how difficult that looks on any given day. 

So bring it on... in the classroom and in my life.  This is my prayer for today: Open my heart and mind, Lord.  May these challenges, these gifts, help me draw you deeper into my heart and life, and through them, may I serve You more faithfully and love others more.  Amen.

Peace, Deb