About Life Long Learning

I'm taking a class at my husband's school this semester.  They offer the spouses of students and faculty the opportunity to audit elective classes, and this time I took them up on it.  So far, I'm even writing the papers due each week.  Let me tell you, it's a lot harder than I thought it would be... not the subject matter, so much, but the process of keeping up with the reading, thinking critically about the material covered, and processing it all enough to make an attempt to say something at least a little intelligent about what I am learning.  It's one thing to teach a class on something you know... it's a whole different process to learn something new, especially when it opens doors to new ways of thinking and understanding.

So I've been wondering why I'm so worried about doing well in this class.  It's not like I'm going to get a grade.  I haven't paid any money - even the books were free (actually, we have to give them back, like we did in high school).  But still, I read, I write, I delete and I write again.  Week 4 and I'm still wanting to make a good impression.

Oh, maybe that's it... maybe I want the teacher and the other students (all military professionals) to think that I belong there with them.  Maybe I want to contribute something valuable to the discussion.  Or maybe, deep down, I just want to make sure that I am still teachable.  Can I learn something new?  Something that challenges my previously held beliefs?  Am I able to grow past the place where I am comfortable?  Can I take what I learn and incorporate it into my life in a way that it meaningful for me and for others?

"What's the class?" you ask.  For today's discussion that's really unimportant - we may talk about that later.  This conversation is really more about who I am and what kind of learner I want to be.  Do I only want to learn what I'm already comfortable knowing, or am I able to stretch and incorporate new ideas and opinions?  Am I only in this for what it can do for me, or am I willing to challenge others with what I learn and help them grow, too?

I hope and pray that I am a lifelong learner.  I don't want to be one of those people who thinks, "I've got all the answers so don't confuse me with new facts."  This world is filled with new ideas, ones that challenge my own beloved notions of who I am, what the world around me is like, and who God is calling me to be.  If there is anything I have learned in 20 years as a pastor and 16 years as an Air Force spouse, it's that there are always more things to learn and more ways to love God, no matter how difficult that looks on any given day. 

So bring it on... in the classroom and in my life.  This is my prayer for today: Open my heart and mind, Lord.  May these challenges, these gifts, help me draw you deeper into my heart and life, and through them, may I serve You more faithfully and love others more.  Amen.

Peace, Deb

On March Madness

Did you see the Super Moon on Saturday night?  It was big and round and beautiful, at least here in the New England.  And it shone in the skylights of my house so brightly I thought it was morning.  You see, I was still up late into the night.  I was compelled to watch as much of every NCAA basketball game as possible... that's right, I've been struck by March Madness.

I've been a fan for most of my life.  My dad coached high school sports after college and he taught me what I know about the blitz, the zone defense and RBI's.  I went to undergrad at a school with a terrific football tradition, and I was proud to go to the every home game for 10 years straight.  When asked the hardest part of going away to seminary, I always replied, "Letting go of my season football tickets."  And I was serious.

I went to grad school at a place where basketball reigned supreme.  I watched in awe as students camped in tents in the snow to get tickets to important games at Cameron Indoor Stadium... and they were all important.  I experienced a national championship in football while at Clemson and one in basketball while at Duke.  I wear my school colors proudly, and am always happen at the result when they play one another.

But the further away I am from graduation, the more that the idea of the tournament draws me in.  People are putting themselves on the line, being the best they can be, and inspiring a whole other group of people in the process.  Sure, I'm pulling for Duke to win it all - but I stayed up until almost 1AM watching Florida State beat Notre Dame just because it was a good game. I am in awe of VCU - Virginia Commonwealth University - this year's dragon slayer, because even if we don't believe they can do it, they do.  I remember the NC State team from 1983, who came from no where to win it all with heart and guts and sheer willpower. 

My prayer for today is that I approach my faith life with as much enthusiasm and energy as I do my NCAA basketball bracket.  May my everyday actions be loving, kind, and of the sort that draw people closer to the living God who is the foundation of my life. 

And if this is a total rationalization, please love me anyway.

Peace, Deb

On Leaving a Legacy

Lee Ann & me in Rome

A tribute to my other mother

My husband’s mother died a month ago after a difficult battle with breast cancer. When people ask us how we’re doing we often reply, “Fine,” but what we really mean is, “Still trying to figure that out.” She fought hard to the very end because she had so many other things that she wanted to accomplish… things to do, places to go and people to be with. She wanted to be present in all the places that mattered to her. It was just too soon… and now we are all left to figure out where to go from here. The good news is that she did not leave us without a legacy. Her influence will live on in each of us… through her spirit, her passion, and in all the lives that she touched. Here are some of the people that are recipients of Lee Ann Teagan’s legacy.

Her family: Lee Ann was a great wife and mother. She was the ultimate hostess and gift-giver. She taught us that little things matter, like flowers and table decorations and making sure that there’s enough food for everyone. Her definition of family was big. It included aunts and uncles and cousins and all of their children on every occasion… and because of her we think of ourselves as one big, mostly happy, family, not just little families who happen to be related. If you asked her how many children she had, she always said, “Four – Shawn and Lori Ann, and their spouses Deb & Mike.” I loved that she never referred to me as an in-law… although Mike and I usually refer to ourselves as The Outlaws.

Her friends: I can’t tell you how many people have told us or written to us to say the same thing… Lee Ann was a wonderful friend. She had the right combination of support and honesty. If you didn’t want to hear the truth, you were wise not to ask. And she was fiercely loyal. She taught each of her friends how to be a true friend. She was pretty good at forgiving and apologizing – most of us aren’t – and she wanted the best for everyone. If something good happened to you, she didn’t get jealous, she just bragged about you to everyone she knew.

Her students and fellow teachers: Lee Ann’s legacy might live strongest with her students and fellow teachers, only because there are so many of them. Lee Ann’s gift for treating children with respect and honor was so much fun to watch. She was always surprised with a child when he learned something that she knew he could figure out for himself. And she was never surprised when a child came up with something she had never seen before. She was unflappable, and it’s one of the things that made her so good at what she did. We figured out that in 37 years as a preschool teacher, she had over 1400 students, just in the classroom at Troy Co-op Preschool. And she taught something to all of those parents and grandparents and special persons, too. Some of her students even brought their own children to be her students, taking leadership roles in the school that had done so much to make them who they are today.

The apostle Paul wrote most of his letters to people and churches that were trying to establish a new legacy for themselves and the people who came after them. According to Paul’s writings, they often struggled along the way. To the Corinthians, he taught about unity and spiritual gifts. To the Ephesians, he wrote about caring for others as a response to God’s handiwork in our own lives. To the Philippians, he preached God’s presence and gifts in all circumstances. I find great peace and guidance in his closing words from this letter:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8-9 NIV 2011)

How many of us are thinking about our legacy? I’m guessing that we don’t think about it very much because we’re just trying to get through today, or tomorrow, or next week. But what would we change about how we live if we asked ourselves these questions:

• What does my life look like to others?
• Is my faith and mission evident even when I’m not saying a word?
• Does my life build people up or tear them down?
• When I die, will people even remember or care that I lived?

We will leave a legacy whether we intend to or not. What will yours look like? It’s not too late to decide.

Peace in Christ, Deb

On Lenten Disciplines....

I got married during Lent, so I've always been a little irritated with my husband that he gives up chocolate for Lent. I asked the question of him, "Why should our anniversary celebration be 'ruined' by your Lenten discipline?" His reply, "Well, this isn't about you, is it? It's about Him." How do you argue with that? People often talk of "giving something up" for Lent... but what is that really about? And the more I think about it, the more I realize that it's the discipline part of it all that makes it valuable. Lenten disciplines are about thinking before you act. They are about getting off of auto-pilot and making purposeful choices about how we live our lives. It could be choosing not to eat or drink a certain kind of food. It could be about taking on a new task, like bible reading, devotions, or volunteering in a new way. No matter what we choose, Lenten disciplines are designed to bring us closer to God, and maybe even closer to one another. So while I have taken on this blog as a part of my Lenten discipline, I will be content with whatever choices my husband makes for his own spiritual journey. Does that mean I'll give up chocolate? No, but I will make every effort to not eat or talk about chocolate in front of him, and to hide my stash really well. As for me, I'll work very hard to keep track of the ways that I encounter God every day, and to share with all of you what I learned today. Peace in Christ, Deb

And so it begins...

I've been thinking lately about writing a blog to keep track of all the things I think of as I try to fall asleep each night. At first, I wasn't sure if anyone would want to hear what I had to say, but then I decided that this is for me as much as anything else, and it's a great a way for me to keep in touch with my widely-dispersed community of family and friends. I'll be sharing insights, asking questions and looking for inputs to questions we often have but are afraid to ask. So get ready for the ride... and think about what YOU learned today.