Moving Musings 2014 - The Problem with Change...

It seems that an inordinate number of my friends are in moving mode this year, and it's a little unsettling, to say the least. No one is where I expect them to be. Some are in transit, like we are. Others are in transition, finding and moving into homes, looking for dentists and hairdressers, seeking a new favorite marker, making new friends. And some have been left behind, adjusting their old lives to new realities, welcoming new friends (I hope) and seeking a new normal.

Many people along our journey have said, "I don't know how you do it," when they hear this is our 11th move as a family in almost 20 years. But just because you stay in one town or house for a long time doesn't mean you don't have to deal with change.

I've found a lot of good quotes about change - here are some of my favorites:
"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old but on building the new." Socrates
"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance." Allan W. Watts
“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”  Mahatma Gandhi
"Progress is impossible without changes, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything." George Bernard Shaw
"All great changes are preceded by chaos." Deepak Chopra

But in the midst of the change - upheaval - uncertainty - crisis, it is easy to forget this kind of wisdom. Our comfort levels are upset, the security blanket of friends and/or family is slightly tattered, and we are unsure which way to turn.

I was just thinking this week about all of the challenges I encountered in the last two years. They were not necessarily bad things, but in hindsight, they helped me to grow in amazing ways. And now I miss them! And the good stuff looks almost even better than it did when I was in the middle of it. The difficulties of the past have faded away, and even before I arrive at my new home, I cannot imagine that it could be any better than what I experienced before.

Which is silly, and a little short-sighted, even though it doesn't feel that way to the time.

Here's what I keep reminding myself, and maybe it will be of help to you, no matter what kind of change you are going through.

God has a plan. And this is what that plan looks like.

1 - There are new friends waiting in your new situation. Going to a new place? There are people who want to be your friend. Staying behind? There are people who are coming in who are looking for someone to show them the ropes. Do you have expectations about the way things are "supposed to be"? Put those expectations aside and be open to new friendships in new places. When my spouse was stationed at the Pentagon, it was really hard to make friends. So I ended up teaching a few friends to crochet and we met once a month to share ideas, patterns and conversation. Those women have at the same time become my closest prayer warriors, even though we have lived in four different time zones.

2 - There is work to be done. And I'm not just talking about the unpacking kind of work. Some of my best experiences have come when I got outside my house (and my head) and went to find something to do. In military communities, it often comes in volunteering at the Thrift Shop or working on a committee. In churches, it could be teaching or helping with a mission project or supporting an activity that a church group is sponsoring. At our Spokane church, I volunteered as an overnight host when the Family Promise shelter used our facilities four times a year. Not only did I have an opportunity to help families in need, but made several new church friends in the process. And it might the thing I miss the most right now.

3 - God is in it all. In the midst of change, it often feels that God is missing in action. But that could not be further from the truth. God is always there, even when it feels like things are falling apart. I remember the TV series, Joan of Arcadia, about a
teen girl who hears God speak to her on a regular basis. But it's not a booming or ethereal voice... it's the voice of a boy in her class, and the guy who drives a garbage truck, and a telephone lineman. Joan experiences God in many of the people she meets, and even though many people think she's a little crazy, it totally changes the way she lives her life. And gives her live a meaning that she never knew before.

Different doesn't always mean worse, but it does mean that we will be asked to recognize that everyone has different gifts and graces, and that we might be called to grow in ways we never expected. Getting out of our comfort zones seems to be a part of this bargain - we are not bound to our pasts and can go into the future knowing that with faith and trust, all things can be new again.

For me as a person of faith, the best news is this - whatever the change that is happening in my life - I can count on this great truth:

"Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday and today and forever!" Hebrews 13:8

When I was preparing for ordination in 1993, I was asked this question at my interview in preparation for final approval: "Where do you see yourself in ministry in ten years?" I thought for a minute and then spoke from the heart a truth I knew could well keep me on the bench for another year, because it was not the standard answer. I said, "I have spent a lot of time in my life tell God what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go, and he just laughs. 'Go ahead,' God says, 'make your plans, but be ready to make a detour when I find something I need you to do.' So in ten years, I just want to be faithful, listening and going wherever I'm called."

Little did we know....

Peace, Deb

Moving Musings 2014 - Random Thoughts

We had my spouse's change of command last Tuesday... not ready to talk about that yet, but maybe soon.

But after the ceremony, we went back to our room, played 3-D Tertris with the rest of our belongings, and hit the road. Our goal, to make it from Spokane, WA to Detroit, MI in four days, a total of 2440 miles. As we drove along, we had a lot of time to talk and to think. Here's some of the random thoughts that crossed my mind as we put miles behind us.

• The Wyoming state landmark must be the snow fence.
• In Nebraska, I found myself driving 80 mph on Interstate 80 listening to "80's on 8"... neat!
• West of the Mississippi River, 99.9% of the people are thoughtful, considerate, and obey the rules of the road. The other 0.1% make it not that much fun anymore.  Once we got into Illinois and Michigan, all bets were off. Honestly, it just wasn't fun at all that last 400 miles.
• Times goes faster when you're the driver and not the passenger.
• When we listen to Piano Puzzler on NPR, I am better at naming the tune, my spouse is better with naming the composer style.
• Cracker Barrel - check. Chick-Fil-A - check. Culver's Custard - check. Still waiting for my first Waffle House sighting.
• Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is still very funny, even though Carl Kasell has retired.
• Podcasts and satellite radio have made this a good trip so far.

Even so, "Are we there yet?"

Peace, Deb

Sermon - Freedom

Audubon Park UMC, Spokane, WA
Galatians 5:1, 13-25  & Luke 9:51-62 (read passages by clicking on the links)

Freedom

It would be easy, on this Sunday before our country’s Independence Day, to read a passage about freedom, and preach about patriotism and how God has called our nation to a special place in this world. But to do that would make the American flag an idol, and would also misrepresent what Paul actually said about freedom to first century Christians.  So we are going to go about this in a different way.

Let’s face it, at one time or another, we all want to be free. We want to be free, because we think that freedom means being carefree or without worries.

But in his letter, Paul reminds us that freedom is not absence of responsibility or problems.  The freedom that God gives us is dedication to the gifts of life which God has placed before us, taking them on as our life’s work and true vocation.  Freedom through Christ, not matter where it leads us, means choices, and in the end, putting others needs before our own.  And they are choices we make in love, in gratitude, and with the sense that in our freedom, we are tied more firmly than ever to the community of faith.

Do you remember what it was like to live on your own the first time?  Each Fall, college campuses are overrun by people getting their first taste of freedom.  No more mom and dad to monitor comings and goings.  Making choices becomes the essential nature of the day.  To go to class or not to go to class… to go the library or not… and the infamous… “I’ll get up and study in the morning”… Freedom opens up the possibility of more choices than we can possible imagine, but what will be our guide as we exercise the freedom we have gained?

More than a couple of years ago, I remember being that college freshman, and being almost paralyzed with the amount of freedom I had gained in the matter of a few days.  Paul’s premise became evident quite quickly… with freedom come new responsibilities… new choices… new opportunities.  Freedom may be attractive to us in the beginning because we think it will demand less of us, but in the end, we find that freedom takes more time, more effort, and more knowing who we are than we ever imagined or were prepared for.

As Americans, we think of freedom as one of our rights.  Our forefathers said these rights were granted to us by our Creator – life, liberty & the pursuit of happiness.  There are people all over the world who are willing to risk their lives in order get a change at what we have. But somehow, our culture has transitioned to the belief that it is my life, my liberty, my happiness that is most important.  And in the process, the life and liberty and fulfillment of others has become less important, sometimes even non-existent.  Think about the “celebrity mentality” to understand what I am talking about.  Think about people fighting over parking places at Wal-Mart or driving as if they own the road to see what we might become.  This is the very idea that Paul was warning the Galatians against.

As disciples of Jesus Christ, our freedom comes through the Spirit of God.  We learn more and more about who we are through our study of scripture and through our experiences of God and life together.  It is our relationships with others that determine what it really means to be free.  Paul tells the Galatians that their freedom is either limited or empowered by their motivations.  And when we take a look at the two lists that Paul has placed before them and us, we realize some important differences in how they each affect and impact us.

The desires of the flesh are those things which focus our energies totally inside of ourselves.  They put us at the center of the universe.  “Look at me – I am the king or queen of the world.”  And if you don’t think that applies to you or to me, then listen to the news.  All around us we see the works of the flesh routinely played out in almost every community.  Sex, drugs, and violence are before us every day in TV, movies, on our local news, even in the video games we sometimes play.  Sadly, we have become somewhat immune to it all, changing the channel and looking the other way.

But that’s not the way it has to be.  Paul writes of freedom that teaches our spirits to live... and this freedom is at the same time a boundary and no boundary at all.  We have freedom through the Spirit and are released to be God's children.  And with that identity, we have wonderful opportunities and responsibilities.  Here, in the Spirit, we carry the cross of Jesus.  Here is where we try to look at ourselves clearly and see who God wants us to be.  Here is where we do the prep work so we are free to abandon ourselves to be servants of the Most High God.

It is an awesome burden to be free to love, and be kind and gentle, joyous and peaceful, generous and faithful.  Our spirits are free to soar and yet we are anchored by them, steadied and called to live our lives for God.  In Eugene Petersen’s biblical translation, The Message, he translates the fruit of the Spirit into actions.

But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. (Galatians 5:22-23)

The fruit of the Spirit give us the courage and strength to follow where Christ leads, and to answer when he calls.

The cost of discipleship is the central theme of the Gospel text from Luke, chapter 9.  In the text Jesus has "set his face towards Jerusalem."  He was journeying there in order to fulfill God's plan for his life, a plan that involved a cross and crucifixion on Calvary.

As Jesus travels towards Jerusalem, he encounters some people who think they want to follow him.  Along the road the first man said, “Lord I'm ready to follow you wherever you go.”  Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man has nowhere to lay his head."”

To another Jesus said, "Follow me," and the man replied, "I'll come along but first I need to take care of some family business.  I have to bury my father."  To this, Jesus replied, "Let the dead bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the Kingdom of God."

It seems to us that Jesus was pretty harsh with these fellows.  What does he expect? Burying one's father, going home to say goodbye to family and friends, these are perfectly normal things.  Yet in these words to his would-be followers, Jesus is making it quite clear what the cost of following him is.  Following him means understanding the possibility of living his kind of life… sacrificial and unadorned.

Recently I watch the movie, “The Last Castle” with Robert Redford and James Gandolfini.  The movie is about a 3-star Army general who enters a military prison after accepting a guilty verdict for disobeying a direct order, resulting in the deaths of 8 soldiers under his command.  He could have stayed out of prison, but he wants to take responsibility for his actions, serve his time quietly and go home.  But life in this prison is hard, because a sadistic colonel believes that the only way to keep order is to take away all dignity for the prisoners under his control.

As the leader he is, this general begins to remind the other prisoners that they are not defined by the crimes that they have committed.  In spite of it all, they are still soldiers, and they don’t have to let their identity as prisoners define how they will live out their lives.  He shows them that life can be different.  In the final scenes, I was so struck by the difference between these two leaders – the prison commander, who has constructed a world that revolves around his power and control, and a prisoner general, who leads the men under him to strive for the greater good. Sometimes freedom looks very different than what expect.

As modern-day followers of Jesus, we stand under his words.   We, too, must face the cost of discipleship.   Our journey, this Christian life to which we have been called, parallels the journey of Jesus to Jerusalem.   Jesus is telling us, up front, that our journey with him will not be an easy one.   If we follow him, we cannot expect to have an easier road to travel than the Master does, for as the Father has sent Jesus, he sends us.   Signing on with Jesus means that everything becomes secondary to serving the Kingdom of God and sharing the gospel.   Following Jesus will cost us.  But it is the only thing that will make us free.

The balance of all this freedom comes with practice and dedication to the tasks that entails.  And eventually it changes the way we live every part of our lives.  When was the last time we let love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control take over the way we reacted to something or someone?  Maybe it was just a minute or two ago… maybe a little longer than that, or maybe we can’t remember.

Paul teaches us that Christ’s freedom is a gift of choice, and accepting it changes everything.

Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original. (Galatians 5: 25-26 The Message)

Or words attributed to 20th century preacher Peter Marshall, “May we think of freedom, not as the right to do as we please, but as the opportunity to do what is right.”

Amen.

Moving Musings 2014 - What to do, what to do?

The boxes and furniture are gone.

The house is cleaned and turned over.

We are settled into temporary housing for four weeks, then we will spend two weeks traveling across the country before we leave for my husband's next assignment in Germany.

I've completed the tasks necessary to relinquish my volunteer responsibilities all over town - turned in binders - completed after action reports - given up the keys that jangled in my pocket all over town.

I'm in the process of going through that box of odds and ends that I swept away as the movers came and went - all that stuff that I didn't know what to do with yet. Some of it has been recycled, some shredded, some thrown away, some saved.

So now what do I do?

It seems that all that's left is saying goodbye.

And that's the hardest part.

Good thing I've had a lot of practice.

Let me end by quoting a philosopher of great wisdom: "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard" - Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne.

Peace, Deb

Moving Musings 2014 - No easy way out

What can you accomplish with:

A quart of household ammonia,

   a box of Brillo Pads,

      a bottle of Windex,

         a kitchen sponge,

            an expired credit card, and

               a box of clean rags?

Apparently, you can clean a house well enough to pass a base housing inspection.

Our moving process has been greatly blessed by having my father-in-law with us the last week. He is a tireless worker who loves to play with the hose. He has helped us with the unpacking part of moving several times, but this time we needed him on the checking out part of the journey, on the off-chance that my husband would be unable to get away from work.

With the three of us at home to supervise the packers, we started the cleaning process as soon as rooms became available. We don't have any kids or pets, but there was still plenty to do. In the beginning, it seemed easy.

Windows and screens washed - check

Walls and baseboards dusted - check

Cabinets, drawers and shelves wiped down and out - check

Carpets vacuumed - check
Oven and stove cleaned - check

Then we hit the wall... the shower wall, that it.

Hard water and soap scum were prepared to be our downfall. We sprayed and rinsed with numerous products designed to handle such a tough job, but were disappointed with the results. And then I realized that the "easy" way out just wasn't going to cut it, so I reached back into the corner of the cabinet and pulled out the tried and true instruments of cleaning torture... Brillo pads, ammonia and Windex.

And they worked... along with several hours of elbow grease, while standing in or sitting on the edge of the tub, and using the expired credit card as a scrapper, we got it done - it was definitely a team effort, with each of us taking a turn to make those fiberglass showers smooth and shiny.

We love it when things are easy, but sometimes they are hard. Weight loss, exercise, complicated recipes... we often give up because somehow we have been tricked into believing that simpler - faster - easier is better.

But some things are worth the effort that it takes to make them memorable, like croissants, where pastry dough is rolled together with butter, folded and rolled, again and again, and then baked at high heat to make a flaky receptacle for butter, honey or Nutella chocolate hazelnut spread.

The same is true for life well-lived. Lifelong friendships are sometimes messy, emotional affairs. They often go through ups and downs, and twists and turns, but in the end, even when separated by time and distance, they survive and even blossom, all because we were willing to put in the effort to make them work.

Life well-lived is hard work. But it is so worth the time and energy we put into it, and the lessons we learn in the process help us to go on, even in the most difficult times.

Jesus had friends who worked hard to be the people he wanted them to be, but often missed the mark. In the end, he knew that they would abandon him when he needed them the most, but he loved them anyway.  At his final meal with them, he taught them his most important lessons. They were lessons about love and live and friendship. He told them this: "This is my commandment: love each other just as I have loved you. No one has greater love than to give up one’s life for one’s friends" (John 15:12-13 CEB).

Many of our best life lessons come through the challenges we face along the way. And if we look at them with an eternal perspective, we can see how that mold and shape us to be the people God created us to be. Tackling that silly shower was a pain in the ?$#*&, but I'm happy not just with the outcome, but that we took on the challenge and we won! There is certainly a feeling of accomplishment in that.

Peace, Deb       

Moving Musings 2014 - Evidence of Plenty

We have a serious case of "I might need that someday" at our house. Nothing makes that more evident than preparing to pack up and move to a new place. And moving overseas highlights that even more.

We have been in the process of dividing our "stuff" into 5 piles:
1 - Quick shipment (up to 1000 pounds that goes by air)
2 - Household Goods (the stuff we "need" to live)
3 - Non-temporary storage (staying in the US - the stuff we can't bear to part with right now)
4 - Things to be stuffed into our suitcases, mailed, or dropped off with relatives
5 - Thrift Shop, recycling, or trash

We're trying to correct the mistakes we made the last time we moved to Germany ten years ago. We have a little better idea of what it could be like and how much we really need. But it has made for more work than before. Six weeks out we started weeding through the basement, our closets and garage. And through the whole process, I have realized that even if I tell myself I need more, I have plenty.

I am more convinced than ever that our impulses to buy more stuff are a symptom of a bigger need than we are willing to admit. And while we think that keeping stuff from the past helps us stay connected, it doesn't always do us much good packed in boxes in the basement or storage space.

But it's hard to remember that things are just things when there is memory attached to them - a picture of your best friend from college - a box of books that you read as a child - Christmas ornaments that were gifts from your grandparents - a sweater that your mother-in-law gave you that is much too big and unfit for wearing in public.

Maybe our plenty is not just defined by the amount that we have but also by the love and memories those things evoke. Watching my beloved treasures get carefully wrapped in paper and packed away in boxes each move reminds me of how blessed I am.

But as our worldly possessions are about to go on a ship or into storage, I am reminded that I am not defined by my stuff but by the way I live out love in the world. I am grateful for the relationships I make in each place I live, and leave behind a military community, United Methodist congregation and friends who laughed and cried with me, celebrated in the good things that happened, and forgave me for the mistakes I made along the way.

Jesus talked to his disciples a lot about what it meant to live out the life that God intended for us in creation. Sometimes they got it, but often then misunderstood what he intended, or couldn't dug deep enough to carry through with his lessons. At his final meal with them, he talked about what friendship is all about.  He said, "This is my commandment: love each other just as I have loved you. 13 No one has greater love than to give up one’s life for one’s friends (John 15:12-13 CEB).


It was only in after the tragedy of Jesus' death and the miracle of his resurrection that the disciples really understood what Jesus had been trying to teach them. It was only in looking forward and taking their learned lessons with them that they were able to see who God intended them to be. And the Church was born.

I am hopeful that this time of ending and new beginning will continue to be evidence of my belief and experience that God is down every road. My time here has been such a joy, and I will be sad to leave. But I also know that God is already in our new place, preparing friendship and ministry for us, probably in ways that we never imagined possible.

I ran across this quote the other day by "accident" - I think it's a good place to end today.  May it be so for each of us every day.

I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition. ~ Martha Washington

Peace, Deb

Moving Musings 2014 - The Long Goodbye

Life in the military community is filled with lots of opportunities... to experience new places, make new friends, learn new ways of doing things. It is also very challenging, because it seems that we are forever starting over. I'm sure that part of it is what helps some people say, "It was a good life, but I'm done." For others, they adopt the attitude, "I'll keep doing it as long as it's fun - and as long as I feel like we're making a difference." I think that's where we are right now... that, and not really knowing what we want to be when we grow up.

I know that the phrase "the long goodbye" is often used in relationship to illnesses that slowly take people away from their families, often leaving an unrecognizable shell of the person once admired and respected by many. But I think that within both the military and the ministry communities there is another kind of "long goodbye." This is the time between when you find out that you (or your friend or pastor) are moving and the time you actually drive out of town. 

My grandfather was a Methodist preacher in Louisiana beginning in the 1930's. They had annual conference in the fall, close to Thanksgiving. (The Annual Conference is a regional connection of congregations and ministers headed by a bishop where business is done and ministry is planned and celebrated.) And at the end of the conference, the bishop announced where the ministers would serve for the next year. There were plenty of years that my grandfather came home and said, "Marie, let's start packing, we're moving to a new place." And within a matter of weeks, they would be on the road with their three children, ready to being new ministry in another part of the state. 

Today, ministerial appointments work much the same way, except that there is a consultation process, where ministers and churches get some say-so in whether or not there is a move, and what the needs of each are if a move does happen. Family situations are taken in account, with many clergy spouses working in important and significant jobs. There is even an introductory visit, where committees and pastors meet to begin sharing hopes and dreams for the future, all in anticipation of what is to come.

In the military world, members can find out from six months (or more) to six weeks (or less) that they are headed someplace new. But there really is no consultation process to speak of, except for filling out a "dream sheet" for jobs and bases with interesting possibilities. Ultimately, people are moved based on needs rather than wants, and if you get an assignment that you wanted, you feel really blessed.

All of this sets up the point of this post... in both worlds, there is a lot of time to say goodbye.

Some people respond by withdrawing. If you're the mover, it's really easy to focus all of your attention on what's in front you, so it's not surprising that some people just take a step back from their current situation and focus on the future. Likewise, if you're the stayer, it's easy to wonder how much you want to invest in a friendship that will soon end.

Others stay fully committed to their current situation, believing that the future will come soon enough. Sometimes they become even more committed to their friends and jobs, making sure that all of their energy is focused on what they can see right before them.

And then there are folks somewhere in between... trying to balance what is with what will be. Trying to be present with people in the here and now, but also looking with anticipation to what lies ahead.

Now each of these paths can exist at the same time - with the movers and the stayers - and so it takes some honest conversation to negotiate these paths well.

Today, the spouses in our Group gave me a farewell lunch.  It was wonderful, and I am so appreciative for all the hard work that went into making it a special day. I am gladdened and astonished that these women, some who work, some with little children, would venture to downtown Spokane for a lunch out, and pay for parking, to top it all off. There was laughter and stories, and we shed a few tears. But in the end I told them - I'm not leaving for six more weeks, so it's too soon to cry and say our final goodbyes.

I also asked them to keep us in their thoughts as we move back to a place we really enjoyed before - a place that will be familiar, but different. And to accept the gifts of the new leadership family, just the way they did for us. I am trying hard to balance the need to be present and to let go. And it's really hard. But also necessary for a successful transition for all.

We have had both long and short notice assignments. We found out that we were coming to Washington State almost seven months before we actually got here. We have also gotten the last minute call... you have to be in your new assignment in three weeks, get packing! Both present certain challenges, with positives and negatives along the way. But ultimately a good move - a healthy move - is about realizing that you are a part of an organization that has a life - a rhythm - a history - a purpose. With each move I learn again how God uses my gifts and the gifts of others in unique ways, and that if we are willing to work together, we will be exactly what our community needs for the days before us.

Tonight I saw this quote on the Weavings Magazine Facebook page. It says much better how I understand how God wants me to respond to all of the changes that lie ahead.

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone — Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude, page 81.

And here's another thing I've learned... with some people there is never really a "goodbye." Some friendships endure time and distance and different journeys. In both the military and the church, we keep connecting with the same people. Certainly email and social media make this even easier today, but I am absolutely sure than many of my best friendship would have endured, no matter what. What a gift, indeed.

Blessings in this season of "goodbye" and "hello." Give thanks for time together, and for new friendships to come.

Peace, Deb

Coming next - "The Evidence of Plenty"