Going with God

Today I had the opportunity to preach at the Base Chapel here at Fairchild AFB, WA.  This was my first chance to preach in almost a year.  Thanks to the chapel staff and all who continue to support my in my ministry in this community and the world.  Just as an aside, this Wednesday, I will begin facilitating an ecumenical group at the chapel in reading The Journey by Adam Hamilton.  We are starting our Advent study early enough to work around the various holidays, and will finish so that we can examine the whole Advent and Christmas story before we get distracted by the busyness of the season.  This scripture and message seemed to be a good introduction to the whole concept of journey.

Sermon - Going With God (November 4, 2012)

The bible is a collection of literature… history, poetry, wisdom, letters, prophecy… no matter what the genre, each book and chapter is written with a solitary purpose in mind – to tell us about the nature of God and his intentions for our relationship with Him.  The book of Ruth is special to me because it’s really just a simple story – a narrative about a woman who found herself as an integral and even necessary part of God’s story.  Read the whole story here:  Ruth 1:1-18


But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.  Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” Ruth 1:16-17

I don’t know about you, but I spend a lot of time trying to control the unpredictability of my life.  Not that I’m all that successful at it, but I do have the illusion on some days that I have a handle on it all.  Twenty years ago, that would have meant something very different than what it means today.  Twenty-five years ago, if you have told me that this would be my life, I would have called you crazy, just to be polite.

I look at the last 25 years and I see a very crooked road.  25 years ago this fall I was in my first year at Duke Divinity School… a 28-year old, second career student with a bachelor’s degree heavy in chemistry and microbiology and 6 years of experience in blood banking.  That was my dream career, all I had wanted since I was in junior high school.  But then the road took a turn, and as far as many were concerned, I was throwing it all away to be a “do good’er.”  Underpaid and taken advantage of, that’s what many people thought my life as a United Methodist minister would be all about.  It was such a foreign concept that a friend at work kept referring to my leaving as “going to the convent.”  She could not understand that I was going to study to be a pastor.  It was just not in her paradigm.

I loved seminary.  But at the end of four years, I was ready to go into the parish … to make a difference in people’s lives.  I thought I would get a couple of small churches in South Carolina – I was hoping to be appointed near Clemson so I could keep my season football tickets.  Instead I went to Summerville, near Charleston, where I was a youth pastor in a large congregation.  It was hard work.  The expectations were high.  The hours were long.  And since I was 32 and not married, no one really expected me to have a personal life.  But quite remarkably, I met a young Air Force pilot in the church choir, and the rest is history.

So in March of 1995 I took on an additional duty, so to speak… I became a military spouse.  At first, being a military spouse didn't really change my life very much.  There was the opportunity to shop on base, and a spouses' meeting every once in a while.  But this was just the calm before the storm.... our first PCS (permanent change of station) changed everything.  My carefully planned life was now coming apart at the seams.  Instead of staying within my home conference to pay my dues and move up in the ranks, I was moving into uncharted territory.

The details are still etched in my memory... driving away to a new life, a new house, and new jobs for both of us.  I was very fortunate to receive a church appointment in southern Illinois... and fortunate again in North Dakota three years later.  But in 2001, the appointment well dried up.  We began a series of one year moves... one year in New Jersey, one year in Georgia, then one year in Alabama.  For the first time since high school, I was not working outside the home.  In my head, I was just somebody's wife, and a big day might include doing laundry, or finding a good deal on chicken breasts at the local store.  We couldn't find a church that felt like home.... I felt cut off from friends and family.... I really didn't know where to turn.

But on September 11, 2001, all of that changed.  My phone started ringing soon after 10:00am.  And as the day went on, a small community formed to ask the questions that everyone asked.  "How could this happen?"  "Where is God in the midst of this tragedy?"  "How do I explain it to my children?"  And it was as if God said, "Just because you're not serving a church doesn't mean that there isn't work for you to do."  From that week's conversations, a bible study was started, true friendships were forged, and I found my way back to my call.

In the Old Testament book of Ruth, we hear a story of a young woman who left behind all that she knew to follow someone she loved and respected. But those heartfelt words from the wedding liturgy are not the words of a woman to her beloved husband... they are the words of a young widow to her mother-in-law as they sought a better life.  Ruth says, "Where you go, I will go..." but she also says, "Your God will be my God," signifying a trust in Naomi’s God to make sense out of a senseless situation.  In reality, Ruth’s detour fulfilled a very different purpose.  And if you read the genealogy of Jesus in the book of Matthew, it becomes evident that God uses Ruth’s faithfulness is a very special way.

We live in a society where "control" is a big issue.  We don't like the feeling of not being in charge.  We want our lives to work the way we have envisioned, planned and designed them to work.  We are like the Israelites… we have rules and they need to be followed.  We are like the Pharisees… we have expectations and they need to be met. But there is something to be said for trusting that our control is not always the best way forward.... for trusting in a higher power - in God - to make something good come from something for which we had no backup plan.

Jesus’ ministry among his disciples brings this kind of trust into new focus.  Jesus called the disciples, and they went with him.  Their behavior and understanding were not always exemplary, but they kept following, day by day, until the Christian church was born.  And while order and disciple can become an entrenched way of life, there is something to be said for being more like the disciples, the ragtag group that they were, and simply pick up our lives and follow Jesus.

At its very core, the story of Ruth is about unconditional trust.  And especially as military families, it’s a story that reminds us that in the midst of the chaos of our lives, we are not alone.  Things have sometimes looked dark… multiple deployments, unfilled professional desires, moving to unexpected places, illness, separation from family, deaths… these are just a few of the challenges and disappointments that I have experienced in the last 20 years.  They may pale in comparison to the struggles you have experienced in your life and faith journey.  But I pray that you, like me, have recognized that in the darkness there has always been a light… a light that reminds me that whatever happens, it is all for good if I just rely on my trust in God.  Maybe that light is found in the prayers of friends and strangers… maybe in a hand or a shoulder… maybe in a kind word which brings peace.

In 1993, I sat before the Board of Ordained Ministry for final approval for ordination.  Their last question and my answer now seem eerily prophetic when I look at my life almost 20 years later.  When asked, “Where do you see your ministry in 10 years?” I sat back, took a deep breath and responded, “You know, I've spent a lot of time telling God what I would and would not do, and he just keeps allowing me to go down roads I never even knew existed.  So…I have no idea where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing in ten years or even five.  But I do pray that wherever it is, whatever I’m doing, that it’s all for him.  And that I trust him enough to follow wherever he leads.”

I cannot be the judge of how well I have followed or led or listened along the way.  But I do hope that I have been a little bit like Ruth, open to the opportunities that came my way, and faithful in living a life of faith in God and Jesus Christ.  Ruth’s story can become our story if we will only let it.  And in the world in which we live today, that takes a lot of faith to commit fully to a life which will probably be filled with twists and turns which we know will happen, but never really expect.

Each of us is on that same journey, a journey to God and a journey for God.  Oh, how much easier it would be if there were a AAA Trip-tik for our faith life – how cool would it be to know where the detours are, and if we could preplan our stopovers along the way.  Maybe vacation planning occasionally works out that way, but it seems that real life never does.  In life, our trust in Christ must become our anchor.  We are fed at the table of Christ’s sacrifice.  We come to worship and bible study together, and form Christian communities so that we can be prepared to face together whatever comes our way.

German reformer Martin Luther once said, “I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess.”  May we all be willing to place our lives and our loves in God’s hands… there are many roads yet left to travel.  Go with God.

In the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit.  Amen.

Old friends are new again...

Facebook has helped me to restore old friendships.  I have found friends from high school, a few from college and seminary - friends from previous churches and military bases.  But perhaps the revived friendships that have most delighted me are with a group of people whom I have known for twenty-one years, and who still call me friend.

I find this especially joyful because I met these friends when they were young... 7th, 8th and 9th grade young... they were the teen members of Bethany United Methodist Church in Summerville, SC.  There I was, in my early thirties, taking my first ministerial appointment out of seminary, moving to a town where I knew almost no one.  I'm not sure what they expected, but I'm pretty sure that their parents expected me to be a leader among them, a good influence on them, and to know what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ.  

Little did they know how scared I was.  Studying about how to do ministry is one thing... actually doing it is another.  I am thankful to my field education churches in Wadesboro, NC and Lancaster, SC for giving me a taste of what youth ministry was all about.  But I am especially grateful to the good people at Bethany UMC for receiving my ministry and helping me to grow into a church leader who would go on to work with college students, youth, and military families.  

About three years ago, I became a member of the Facebook generation.  I really did it as a way to stay in touch with the people in my bible studies and squadrons - a "get out the message quickly" tool and way to know what was going on in people's lives.  One night I got a friend invitation from a former colleague from Bethany.  I was excited to see what was going on in his life, and happy to know that he was happy and healthy and living a good life.

And then the invitations started rolling in... and there they were... my little middle school friends - Kaiti, Melissa, Johannah, Ross, Tony, Lee, Brad, Shannon, Ken, Sarah, Carley & Kim... and through them, their moms and other Bethany friends.  And believe it or not, they are now the age I was when I first met them.  Isn't it funny how 30-something isn't so old anymore.

Some of them are married, some have children - some have stayed close to home, others have ventured far and wide.  Some have found their life's work in the church - others work in education, broadcasting, restaurants, architecture and business - some are stay-at-home parents.  Two are military spouses - let the record reflect that I warned at least one of them that this life is not for the faint of heart.  

And still I marvel at them... that over twenty years later the lessons I tried to teach were absorbed, applied and are now being passed on to their families, their friends and their churches.  I love that they post on my wall even if it's not my birthday, that they chat with me when they see me online sometimes, and that they still sometimes ask me hard questions about faith and life and Jesus.

But more often they give me answers.  The answers come in the ways I see them live their lives, teach their children and work out their problems.  The answers come in the ways they have grown and the ways they make the world a better place.  And while I don't know everything about them, I am honored to be their friend.  Blessings to them and to all who have helped to make me who I am today.  God is good, indeed.

I was trying to think of a passage from scripture which describes friendship... I think this one from Romans 12 captures what I'm trying to say...

[Paul writes:] Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.  Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”  Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he’s thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good. (Romans 12:14-21 The Message)

Peace, Deb

Quotes from The Road to Grace

I've been reading a lot this year... which means I'm getting a lot less quilting and crocheting done, but that's another story.   Anyway, my father-in-law recommended a series by the author Richard Paul Evans, the author of The Christmas Box  and other inspirational stories.

Evans' series began with The Walk, the story of a Seattle ad man, Alan, who looses his wife and his business.  His response to the crisis was to begin walking... from Seattle to Key West.  The first book takes him on foot from Seattle to Spokane... the place where I currently live.  The second book, Miles to Go, follows Alan's journey from Spokane, Washington to Custer, South Dakota.  Book three, The Road to Grace, continues his walk from Custer, South Dakota to St. Louis, Missouri.  I won't spoil the plot, but in it's final pages I read Alan's words and knew that they were meant for me... something to remember when I'm not sure why things are unfolding around me the way they are.  

For most of my life I have thought of grace as a hope of a bright tomorrow in spite of the darkness of today--and this is true. In this way we are all like Pamela, walking a road to grace--hoping for mercy. What we fail to realize is that grace is more than our destination, it is the journey itself, manifested in each breath and with each step we take. Grace surrounds us, whirls about us like the wind, falls on us like rain. Grace sustains us on our journeys, no matter how perilous they may be and, make no mistake, they are all perilous. We need not hope for grace, we merely need to open our eyes to its abundance. Grace is all around us, not just in the hopeful future but in the miracle of now.   Richard Paul Evans, The Road to Grace, p. 232.

How do we see grace around us?  How to we receive it?  How do we live it out?  This must be what a life's journey is all about.  And what is so lacking in the world around us.  

Now I have to wait until Spring 2013 for the fourth book to come out... but until then I have a lot to think about and a lot to do.  I'm sure it will be worth the wait.

Peace, Deb

Little things matter

We're settling into our new life and today I was thinking about some of the things that have made my life a little happier.  They are simple gestures that say, "You matter."  I'm going to try to incorporate more of these in my life every chance I get, hopefully to make life better for me and those I know & love.

* Choose to be positive... it will make your life and the lives around you much more pleasant.
* Offer a warm welcome to a new neighbor, even if you're moving in a few days or months.  It makes a great first impression of their new home and you may make a new friend.
* If your friends move away, find their new address and send them a card so that they can get some mail that's not a bill soon after they move in.
* Thank you notes are much appreciated for gifts given and gestures of friendship... even if you said "thank you" in person... and even if you're related to them.
* Say "please" and "thank you."  I'm always surprised when it seems to mean so much to people.

They are little things, indeed, but the difference they make is immeasurable.  This little graphic says it all...

Peace, Deb

Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things.  ~Author Unknown

 John 13:34-35 [Jesus said,] "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other."

Just when you thought you knew...

I had an "AH-HA" moment this week.  It was actually kind of shocking.

You know how you think you know something, absolutely for sure?  It's a given - it's the truth now, it's always been the truth - you know it so well that you don't even think about it even more.  You know?

Well, this week my world got turned upside down in an unimportant, but surprising way.  I found out that .... my husband's favorite pie is apple, or peach, or sweet potato, or anything with rhubarb... but it's not cherry, which is what I've always thought it was.  Wow!

This conversation came up after I spent several hours in an orchard in NE Washington state picking about 23 pound of cherries to put up for use during the rest of the year.  It's not that he didn't appreciate my efforts - he gave me lots of praise.  It's not that he doesn't like cherry pie, because just about any homemade pie is like a little piece of heaven.  It's just that we've been married over 17 years and I thought that cherry was his favorite.

And then he reminded me that cherry is MY favorite, or at least one of them.  Oops.

And so I did what any good partner would do.  I made him an apple pie... and served it with vanilla ice cream and whipped cream.  And put several pieces in the freezer, so that they can be thawed and consumed at any time.

And so then I asked myself the question, "What else do you think you know?"

Maybe it's a good thing to have our preconceived notions upset or challenged... to learn something new, or admit to making a mistake.  Relationships and communities are built on being honest and sharing ourselves in authentic ways.  

The world keeps telling us that things are black and white - that we have to live inside a box - that rules were not meant to be broken.  But relationships grow and change, and if we're honest and willing to see it all through, living a little grey will help us to grow and give us a stronger foundation on which to go forward into the world.

Early in my ministry career I had several people say to me, "I don't believe that women should be preachers, so I'll never consider you to be my pastor."  And as surprised as I was with that kind of honesty, I was glad that the Spirit provided me with a response that has been a blessing every time... "That's OK, let's just be friends."  While shocked at my response, no one ever turned me down.  Those starting friendships often blossomed and in time, each new friend introduced me to someone saying, "This is Deb, she is my pastor." 

I find that the more I think I know, the more I have to learn.  Instead of living in the box all the time, I have found that questions might just make the box bigger, instead of finding me outside it bounds. I hope that my willingness to change and adapt is seen as a strength and not a weakness.  But how do we know when it's time to hold ground and when it's time to update our thinking?

For me, there are not hard and fast rules, as long as I continue to live according to my understanding of who God has called me to be.  Love God, love neighbor, love self - and all for the glory of God.  It is impossible for human beings to find 100% agreement on every idea regarding faith, family and life.  But when we are at our best, we find a middle ground.  We figure out how to make a life together and we do it out of love for God and love for each other.  Relationships with our spouses, our family members, our friends and our enemies are often defined by what we are willing to give up in order that others might find joy and.or peace.  When challenged, we find that many things that we thought were really important are, in reality, just things, or ideas, or habits of doing things a particular way.  And when push comes to shove, we often have to choose between competing ideas, all in the practice of Godly love.

[Jesus said,] "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other." John 13:34-35 (The Message)

This is the high bar that is set for all of us.  And God's gives us the ability to choose how to live out that love in our own lives.  My life looks very different from most of yours, and that's a good thing.  But it is my hope and prayer that our choices will draw us closer together and not put up walls that will keep us from supporting one another as we live our faith in the world today.

Peace, Deb

"Take a deep breath, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again." Frank Sinatra

"Strangers are just friends waiting to happen." Rod McKuen, Looking for a Friend

"God always has another custard pie up his sleeve." Lynn Redgrave

Merrily we rolled along...

I will not bore you with many pictures of our recent trip across the United States.  But I have to say that I was constantly amazed at the sights and sounds of our journey west.  In these ten days, I visited four new states and visited three important national parks and/or memorials.  I am so glad that we decided to take a little extra time to include these amazing places on our itinerary.  We will remember them for a life time.

We did get to visit with family as we went to pick up Shawn's dad in Michigan.  Tim was such a great help to us, both in driving and in helping get the house unpacked in record time.  And as we begin our new life in Washington state, we look back fondly over the last several weeks and savor the time we had to just be...

After eating German food with my sister and her family
(minus nephew Zach who was at gardening camp)
Columbus, OH

Butterfly House, Columbus, OH

We are a little corny, don't you think?
Mitchell, SD

The one and only Corn Palace
Mitchell, SD

Not a cloud in the sky
Mount Rushmore National Monument, SD

Are you sure we'll fit through there?
Custer State Park, SD

Old Faithful was right on time!

Boiling volcanic mud 

near Old Faithful, Yellowstone

Bacteria, sulfur deposits and the sun make for beautiful colors
Old Faithful Geyser Basin, Yellowstone

And eye or a mouth?
Yellowstone National Park, WY

Lower Falls
Yellowstone National Park, WY

The happy trio
Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone

Mammoth Hot Springs, Upper Terrace
where the rock grows at an average rate of 1/4 inch per day

Mammoth Hot Springs, Lower Terrace
Color means the rock is still growing, alive with bacteria and rock being
deposited - white means water is not flowing there and the rock
is not growing, at least this week - the landscape changes quickly

Norris Geyser Basin in the morning (about 50F)
In the afternoon it just looks like an empty field

I am pretty sure that I would not have seen all of these amazing things if the Air Force had not given us this opportunity to move West.  And while we are usually in the habit of pressing on without a break, this year we decided to stop along the way to see new places.  Ansad I'm SO glad we did.

I have lived most of my life on the East coast... the other side of the country felt very far away, and somewhere you'd only visit by airplane.  But driving through "new country," South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana and Washington, I was often speechless over the beauty and diversity of our beautiful country.  Mount Rushmore brought a new dimension to the idea of patriotism.  Our visits to The Badlands and Yellowstone National Parks helped me to appreciate both my science and theology roots - they seem to fit seamlessly together as I looked across the barren plains and sniffed the sulfur-filled air.

So this message is especially for people who think that Wyoming or Montana are too far away and/or not as interesting as Disney World.  Please reconsider!  This country is vast and beautiful and there many sights that cannot be truly appreciated through video, photos or descriptions.  I can't wait to visit Glacier National Park sometime soon, and to go back to Yellowstone, maybe in the winter.  There are so many new things so see.

Peace, Deb

The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.  ~ attributed to St. Augustine


The traveler was active; he went strenuously in search of people, of adventure, of experience.  The tourist is passive; he expects interesting things to happen to him.  He goes "sight-seeing."  ~ Daniel J. Boorstin, Librarian of  Congress from 1975 to 1987


To get away from one's working environment is, in a sense, to get away from one's self; and this is often the chief advantage of travel and change.  ~ Charles Horton Cooley, sociologist

Look Down Below

We all have seen picture of the historic monument, Mount Rushmore.  It shows the faces of four of our most celebrated presidents.  Can you name them?  That's right... Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt, forever enshrined in stone, looking out on the American landscape, anchoring us in the past, and looking into the future.  Each provided leadership at a crossroads in American history.  Each define the greatness of the presidency.  Carved in a granite mountainside, they are an iconic picture of the United States, recognized by many Americans and on many people's list of things to see in their lifetimes.

What you don't see lies at the foot of the sculpture... tons and tons of granite, blasted, carved and chiseled by the work of hundreds of craftsmen who spent eleven years working on bringing these faces out of the mountain in which they were hidden.  The mountain cradles among its ruins the portrait of a strong, undefeated America.

I loved walking along the Monument Trail around the base of the rock, seeing the iconic memorial from a brand new perspective.  The president's faces can each be seen individually, framed by blue sky and the branches of trees growing at the base of the enormous sculpture.  They say that 90% of the rock of Mount Rushmore was blasted off with dynamite.  The rest of was pounded off with drills and jackhammers - only the last 1/2 inch was finessed off by sanding, which gives the presidents their smooth complexions. 

And I thought about how much the story of this great American place is just like the story of our lives.  About how we too are start out as blank slates, and how often our personalities and personas are formed not by little bits being broken off gently, but blasted off in big chunks by the crises and disasters of our lives.  Those remnants lay in ruin around our feet, not as a sign of defeat, but as a remembrance of the work and determination that have gone into to shaping us into the people that we become.

No one lives a life without some kind of hardship... if they say they do, then maybe they aren't really living.  Taking chances, making mistakes, weathering hardships... these are the times that build character and define our choices.  

These four presidents presided over times of great transition in our country.  Transitions that tested what people were made of... and they ushered in new eras of peace and intellectual ideas and sometimes even wealth.  Their ideas and leadership were often considered radical.  They were loved by most and reviled by many.  And the United Stated of America would not be who she is today with even one of them.  

Visiting Mount Rushmore National Memorial reminded me that patriotism is not just spoken about, but lived in everyday lives.  Patriotism is not just about flag waving, but about making contributions to our communities and families that make a difference in positive, enduring ways.  

I did not expect that visiting this monument would be so emotional for me, but I was moved to tears as I stepped out on the terrace to stand in full view of this amazing, wonderful tribute to four men who made a difference.  I knew intellectually that 400 men and an immigrant stone carver had worked to make a legacy here.  But I didn't know until I stood in front of it what a distinctive, improbable contribution they had made to life in this country.  They didn't know how it would all turn out.  And they did it anyway.

We often wonder if what we do makes a difference.  And maybe we won't make splashes in any ponds anytime soon, or even ever.  But we can't accomplish anything if we don't take a chance.  And doing big things takes teamwork, and trust, and sometimes going against conventional wisdom.  In the end, we are rewarded... sometimes with a result, but always with the experience.

Peace, Deb

“It is every man's obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it.”  ~ Albert Einstein

“Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.”  ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

“Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.”  ~ Swedish Proverb