Thursday, July 31, 2014

Moving Musings 2014 - Driving in a whole new way

Once again, we looked at our check-in schedule and realized that we would be taking our Army Driving Test within 24 hours of arriving in Germany. Why the class, you ask? There are definite rules for the road when driving here, and it's a real benefit to understand what's expected for you on the road.

We got the study manual online, and downloaded to our tablets. We took the online practice tests, sometimes sitting together, reading the rules and looking at pictures to figure out what was required of us in different situations.

In short, we had to think about driving in a whole new way.

It's not just that you're negotiating the road in a new language, it's that people think differently about driving here. For the most part, when you are on the road in Germany, it is assumed that everyone knows the rules, and that you will follow them.

There are three concepts that are quite logical:
1 - right before left,
2 - wave and wait, and
3 - the zipper.

The "right before left rule" means that the driver on the right has the "right of way" unless there is a sign that says differently.  So when you come to an intersection and you're not sure who should go first, it's the car furthest to the right that gets to go first - I guess that's why it's called "right of way".

If you're unsure you can safely make your move, you can relinquish your right by waving the next person to go, and then waiting until it is your turn again... the "wave and wait."

And when merging two lanes of traffic into one, a person from each lane goes forward one after another... just like a zipper going up or down.

I have seen all of these things at work in my first week here, and the orderliness of it all makes it a little less stressful by knowing what to expect, from yourself or others.

I will also say that I love that there are a lot of signs  - over 300 - to help point people in the right direction. If you know the rules and what the signs are telling you to do, then you won't have any problems, as long as everyone is following the rules... or if you are prepared to keep everyone safe.

At the beginning of our class, the instructor opened with this quote. "Your first job as a driver is to look out for other people, assume they will make a mistake, and then compensate so that everyone is as safe as possible."

And I thought, "That sounds a lot like what a life of faith should look like."

It's quite easy to fall into the habit of placing ourselves at the front of the line... to assume that our appointments or needs are ideas or more important or correct than others. Paul wrote to the Christians in Rome, reminding them that their call by God set them apart - in the ways they thought and acted.
"Don’t be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you can figure out what God’s will is—what is good and pleasing and mature. Because of the grace that God gave me, I can say to each one of you: don’t think of yourself more highly than you ought to think. Instead, be reasonable since God has measured out a portion of faith to each one of you." (Romans 12:2-3 Common English Bible)
The news today is filled with stories of war and strife from almost every corner of the world. We develop the habit of thinking in terms of "them versus us," rather than being in this thing called life together. Maybe we have to start thinking about life in a whole new way, get out of our comfort zones, and pay attention to the needs of others around us. Only then, will the world have the chance to become that which God created it to be - a haven for God's creation, and a small piece of heaven on earth.

Peace, Deb

“It seemed to me that the people who made the rules of the road had figured out everything that would help a person drive safely right down to having a sign that tells you you're passing through a place where deer cross. Somebody should stick up some signs on the highway of life.

* CAUTION: JERKS CROSSING.
* Blinking yellow lights when you're about to to something stupid.
* Stop signs in front of people who could hurt you.
* Green lights shining when you're doing the right thing. 

It would make the whole experience easier.”     
                                   ― Joan Bauer, Rules of the Road (2005)

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Moving Musings 2014 - The Problem with Change...

It seems that an inordinate number of my friends are in moving mode this year, and it's a little unsettling, to say the least. No one is where I expect them to be. Some are in transit, like we are. Others are in transition, finding and moving into homes, looking for dentists and hairdressers, seeking a new favorite marker, making new friends. And some have been left behind, adjusting their old lives to new realities, welcoming new friends (I hope) and seeking a new normal.

Many people along our journey have said, "I don't know how you do it," when they hear this is our 11th move as a family in almost 20 years. But just because you stay in one town or house for a long time doesn't mean you don't have to deal with change.

I've found a lot of good quotes about change - here are some of my favorites:
"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old but on building the new." Socrates
"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance." Allan W. Watts
“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”  Mahatma Gandhi
"Progress is impossible without changes, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything." George Bernard Shaw
"All great changes are preceded by chaos." Deepak Chopra

But in the midst of the change - upheaval - uncertainty - crisis, it is easy to forget this kind of wisdom. Our comfort levels are upset, the security blanket of friends and/or family is slightly tattered, and we are unsure which way to turn.

I was just thinking this week about all of the challenges I encountered in the last two years. They were not necessarily bad things, but in hindsight, they helped me to grow in amazing ways. And now I miss them! And the good stuff looks almost even better than it did when I was in the middle of it. The difficulties of the past have faded away, and even before I arrive at my new home, I cannot imagine that it could be any better than what I experienced before.

Which is silly, and a little short-sighted, even though it doesn't feel that way to the time.

Here's what I keep reminding myself, and maybe it will be of help to you, no matter what kind of change you are going through.

God has a plan. And this is what that plan looks like.

1 - There are new friends waiting in your new situation. Going to a new place? There are people who want to be your friend. Staying behind? There are people who are coming in who are looking for someone to show them the ropes. Do you have expectations about the way things are "supposed to be"? Put those expectations aside and be open to new friendships in new places. When my spouse was stationed at the Pentagon, it was really hard to make friends. So I ended up teaching a few friends to crochet and we met once a month to share ideas, patterns and conversation. Those women have at the same time become my closest prayer warriors, even though we have lived in four different time zones.

2 - There is work to be done. And I'm not just talking about the unpacking kind of work. Some of my best experiences have come when I got outside my house (and my head) and went to find something to do. In military communities, it often comes in volunteering at the Thrift Shop or working on a committee. In churches, it could be teaching or helping with a mission project or supporting an activity that a church group is sponsoring. At our Spokane church, I volunteered as an overnight host when the Family Promise shelter used our facilities four times a year. Not only did I have an opportunity to help families in need, but made several new church friends in the process. And it might the thing I miss the most right now.

3 - God is in it all. In the midst of change, it often feels that God is missing in action. But that could not be further from the truth. God is always there, even when it feels like things are falling apart. I remember the TV series, Joan of Arcadia, about a
teen girl who hears God speak to her on a regular basis. But it's not a booming or ethereal voice... it's the voice of a boy in her class, and the guy who drives a garbage truck, and a telephone lineman. Joan experiences God in many of the people she meets, and even though many people think she's a little crazy, it totally changes the way she lives her life. And gives her live a meaning that she never knew before.

Different doesn't always mean worse, but it does mean that we will be asked to recognize that everyone has different gifts and graces, and that we might be called to grow in ways we never expected. Getting out of our comfort zones seems to be a part of this bargain - we are not bound to our pasts and can go into the future knowing that with faith and trust, all things can be new again.

For me as a person of faith, the best news is this - whatever the change that is happening in my life - I can count on this great truth:

"Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday and today and forever!" Hebrews 13:8

When I was preparing for ordination in 1993, I was asked this question at my interview in preparation for final approval: "Where do you see yourself in ministry in ten years?" I thought for a minute and then spoke from the heart a truth I knew could well keep me on the bench for another year, because it was not the standard answer. I said, "I have spent a lot of time in my life tell God what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go, and he just laughs. 'Go ahead,' God says, 'make your plans, but be ready to make a detour when I find something I need you to do.' So in ten years, I just want to be faithful, listening and going wherever I'm called."

Little did we know....

Peace, Deb

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Moving Musings 2014 - Random Thoughts

We had my spouse's change of command last Tuesday... not ready to talk about that yet, but maybe soon.

But after the ceremony, we went back to our room, played 3-D Tertris with the rest of our belongings, and hit the road. Our goal, to make it from Spokane, WA to Detroit, MI in four days, a total of 2440 miles. As we drove along, we had a lot of time to talk and to think. Here's some of the random thoughts that crossed my mind as we put miles behind us.
  • The Wyoming state landmark must be the snow fence.
  • In Nebraska, I found myself driving 80 mph on Interstate 80 listening to "80's on 8"... neat!
  • West of the Mississippi River, 99.9% of the people are thoughtful, considerate, and obey the rules of the road. The other 0.1% make it not that much fun anymore.  Once we got into Illinois and Michigan, all bets were off. Honestly, it just wasn't fun at all that last 400 miles.
  • Times goes faster when you're the driver and not the passenger.
  • When we listen to Piano Puzzler on NPR, I am better at naming the tune, my spouse is better with naming the composer style.
  • Cracker Barrel - check. Chick-Fil-A - check. Culver's Custard - check. Still waiting for my first Waffle House sighting.
  • Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is still very funny, even though Carl Kasell has retired.
  • Podcasts and satellite radio have made this a good trip so far.
Even so, "Are we there yet?"

Peace, Deb


Sunday, June 29, 2014

Sermon - Freedom

Audubon Park UMC, Spokane, WA
Galatians 5:1, 13-25  & Luke 9:51-62 (read passages by clicking on the links)

Freedom

It would be easy, on this Sunday before our country’s Independence Day, to read a passage about freedom, and preach about patriotism and how God has called our nation to a special place in this world. But to do that would make the American flag an idol, and would also misrepresent what Paul actually said about freedom to first century Christians.  So we are going to go about this in a different way.

Let’s face it, at one time or another, we all want to be free. We want to be free, because we think that freedom means being carefree or without worries.

But in his letter, Paul reminds us that freedom is not absence of responsibility or problems.  The freedom that God gives us is dedication to the gifts of life which God has placed before us, taking them on as our life’s work and true vocation.  Freedom through Christ, not matter where it leads us, means choices, and in the end, putting others needs before our own.  And they are choices we make in love, in gratitude, and with the sense that in our freedom, we are tied more firmly than ever to the community of faith.

Do you remember what it was like to live on your own the first time?  Each Fall, college campuses are overrun by people getting their first taste of freedom.  No more mom and dad to monitor comings and goings.  Making choices becomes the essential nature of the day.  To go to class or not to go to class… to go the library or not… and the infamous… “I’ll get up and study in the morning”… Freedom opens up the possibility of more choices than we can possible imagine, but what will be our guide as we exercise the freedom we have gained?

More than a couple of years ago, I remember being that college freshman, and being almost paralyzed with the amount of freedom I had gained in the matter of a few days.  Paul’s premise became evident quite quickly… with freedom come new responsibilities… new choices… new opportunities.  Freedom may be attractive to us in the beginning because we think it will demand less of us, but in the end, we find that freedom takes more time, more effort, and more knowing who we are than we ever imagined or were prepared for.

As Americans, we think of freedom as one of our rights.  Our forefathers said these rights were granted to us by our Creator – life, liberty & the pursuit of happiness.  There are people all over the world who are willing to risk their lives in order get a change at what we have. But somehow, our culture has transitioned to the belief that it is my life, my liberty, my happiness that is most important.  And in the process, the life and liberty and fulfillment of others has become less important, sometimes even non-existent.  Think about the “celebrity mentality” to understand what I am talking about.  Think about people fighting over parking places at Wal-Mart or driving as if they own the road to see what we might become.  This is the very idea that Paul was warning the Galatians against.

As disciples of Jesus Christ, our freedom comes through the Spirit of God.  We learn more and more about who we are through our study of scripture and through our experiences of God and life together.  It is our relationships with others that determine what it really means to be free.  Paul tells the Galatians that their freedom is either limited or empowered by their motivations.  And when we take a look at the two lists that Paul has placed before them and us, we realize some important differences in how they each affect and impact us.

The desires of the flesh are those things which focus our energies totally inside of ourselves.  They put us at the center of the universe.  “Look at me – I am the king or queen of the world.”  And if you don’t think that applies to you or to me, then listen to the news.  All around us we see the works of the flesh routinely played out in almost every community.  Sex, drugs, and violence are before us every day in TV, movies, on our local news, even in the video games we sometimes play.  Sadly, we have become somewhat immune to it all, changing the channel and looking the other way.

But that’s not the way it has to be.  Paul writes of freedom that teaches our spirits to live... and this freedom is at the same time a boundary and no boundary at all.  We have freedom through the Spirit and are released to be God's children.  And with that identity, we have wonderful opportunities and responsibilities.  Here, in the Spirit, we carry the cross of Jesus.  Here is where we try to look at ourselves clearly and see who God wants us to be.  Here is where we do the prep work so we are free to abandon ourselves to be servants of the Most High God.

It is an awesome burden to be free to love, and be kind and gentle, joyous and peaceful, generous and faithful.  Our spirits are free to soar and yet we are anchored by them, steadied and called to live our lives for God.  In Eugene Petersen’s biblical translation, The Message, he translates the fruit of the Spirit into actions.
But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. (Galatians 5:22-23)
The fruit of the Spirit give us the courage and strength to follow where Christ leads, and to answer when he calls.

The cost of discipleship is the central theme of the Gospel text from Luke, chapter 9.  In the text Jesus has "set his face towards Jerusalem."  He was journeying there in order to fulfill God's plan for his life, a plan that involved a cross and crucifixion on Calvary.

As Jesus travels towards Jerusalem, he encounters some people who think they want to follow him.  Along the road the first man said, “Lord I'm ready to follow you wherever you go.”  Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man has nowhere to lay his head."”

To another Jesus said, "Follow me," and the man replied, "I'll come along but first I need to take care of some family business.  I have to bury my father."  To this, Jesus replied, "Let the dead bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the Kingdom of God."

It seems to us that Jesus was pretty harsh with these fellows.  What does he expect? Burying one's father, going home to say goodbye to family and friends, these are perfectly normal things.  Yet in these words to his would-be followers, Jesus is making it quite clear what the cost of following him is.  Following him means understanding the possibility of living his kind of life… sacrificial and unadorned.

Recently I watch the movie, “The Last Castle” with Robert Redford and James Gandolfini.  The movie is about a 3-star Army general who enters a military prison after accepting a guilty verdict for disobeying a direct order, resulting in the deaths of 8 soldiers under his command.  He could have stayed out of prison, but he wants to take responsibility for his actions, serve his time quietly and go home.  But life in this prison is hard, because a sadistic colonel believes that the only way to keep order is to take away all dignity for the prisoners under his control.

As the leader he is, this general begins to remind the other prisoners that they are not defined by the crimes that they have committed.  In spite of it all, they are still soldiers, and they don’t have to let their identity as prisoners define how they will live out their lives.  He shows them that life can be different.  In the final scenes, I was so struck by the difference between these two leaders – the prison commander, who has constructed a world that revolves around his power and control, and a prisoner general, who leads the men under him to strive for the greater good. Sometimes freedom looks very different than what expect.

As modern-day followers of Jesus, we stand under his words.   We, too, must face the cost of discipleship.   Our journey, this Christian life to which we have been called, parallels the journey of Jesus to Jerusalem.   Jesus is telling us, up front, that our journey with him will not be an easy one.   If we follow him, we cannot expect to have an easier road to travel than the Master does, for as the Father has sent Jesus, he sends us.   Signing on with Jesus means that everything becomes secondary to serving the Kingdom of God and sharing the gospel.   Following Jesus will cost us.  But it is the only thing that will make us free.

The balance of all this freedom comes with practice and dedication to the tasks that entails.  And eventually it changes the way we live every part of our lives.  When was the last time we let love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control take over the way we reacted to something or someone?  Maybe it was just a minute or two ago… maybe a little longer than that, or maybe we can’t remember.

Paul teaches us that Christ’s freedom is a gift of choice, and accepting it changes everything.
Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original. (Galatians 5: 25-26 The Message)
Or words attributed to 20th century preacher Peter Marshall, “May we think of freedom, not as the right to do as we please, but as the opportunity to do what is right.”

Amen.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Moving Musings 2014 - What to do, what to do?

The boxes and furniture are gone.

The house is cleaned and turned over.

We are settled into temporary housing for four weeks, then we will spend two weeks traveling across the country before we leave for my husband's next assignment in Germany.

I've completed the tasks necessary to relinquish my volunteer responsibilities all over town - turned in binders - completed after action reports - given up the keys that jangled in my pocket all over town.

I'm in the process of going through that box of odds and ends that I swept away as the movers came and went - all that stuff that I didn't know what to do with yet. Some of it has been recycled, some shredded, some thrown away, some saved.

So now what do I do?

It seems that all that's left is saying goodbye.

And that's the hardest part.

Good thing I've had a lot of practice.

Let me end by quoting a philosopher of great wisdom: "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard" - Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne.

Peace, Deb

Friday, June 13, 2014

Moving Musings 2014 - No easy way out

What can you accomplish with:
A quart of household ammonia,
   a box of Brillo Pads,
      a bottle of Windex,
         a kitchen sponge,
            an expired credit card, and
               a box of clean rags?

Apparently, you can clean a house well enough to pass a base housing inspection.

Our moving process has been greatly blessed by having my father-in-law with us the last week. He is a tireless worker who loves to play with the hose. He has helped us with the unpacking part of moving several times, but this time we needed him on the checking out part of the journey, on the off-chance that my husband would be unable to get away from work.

With the three of us at home to supervise the packers, we started the cleaning process as soon as rooms became available. We don't have any kids or pets, but there was still plenty to do. In the beginning, it seemed easy.

Windows and screens washed - check
Walls and baseboards dusted - check
Cabinets, drawers and shelves wiped down and out - check
Carpets vacuumed - check
Oven and stove cleaned - check

Then we hit the wall... the shower wall, that it.

Hard water and soap scum were prepared to be our downfall. We sprayed and rinsed with numerous products designed to handle such a tough job, but were disappointed with the results. And then I realized that the "easy" way out just wasn't going to cut it, so I reached back into the corner of the cabinet and pulled out the tried and true instruments of cleaning torture... Brillo pads, ammonia and Windex.

And they worked... along with several hours of elbow grease, while standing in or sitting on the edge of the tub, and using the expired credit card as a scrapper, we got it done - it was definitely a team effort, with each of us taking a turn to make those fiberglass showers smooth and shiny.

We love it when things are easy, but sometimes they are hard. Weight loss, exercise, complicated recipes... we often give up because somehow we have been tricked into believing that simpler - faster - easier is better.

But some things are worth the effort that it takes to make them memorable, like croissants, where pastry dough is rolled together with butter, folded and rolled, again and again, and then baked at high heat to make a flaky receptacle for butter, honey or Nutella chocolate hazelnut spread.

The same is true for life well-lived. Lifelong friendships are sometimes messy, emotional affairs. They often go through ups and downs, and twists and turns, but in the end, even when separated by time and distance, they survive and even blossom, all because we were willing to put in the effort to make them work.

Life well-lived is hard work. But it is so worth the time and energy we put into it, and the lessons we learn in the process help us to go on, even in the most difficult times.

Jesus had friends who worked hard to be the people he wanted them to be, but often missed the mark. In the end, he knew that they would abandon him when he needed them the most, but he loved them anyway.  At his final meal with them, he taught them his most important lessons. They were lessons about love and live and friendship. He told them this: "This is my commandment: love each other just as I have loved you. No one has greater love than to give up one’s life for one’s friends" (John 15:12-13 CEB).

Many of our best life lessons come through the challenges we face along the way. And if we look at them with an eternal perspective, we can see how that mold and shape us to be the people God created us to be. Tackling that silly shower was a pain in the ?$#*&, but I'm happy not just with the outcome, but that we took on the challenge and we won! There is certainly a feeling of accomplishment in that.

Peace, Deb       

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Moving Musings 2014 - Evidence of Plenty

We have a serious case of "I might need that someday" at our house. Nothing makes that more evident than preparing to pack up and move to a new place. And moving overseas highlights that even more.

We have been in the process of dividing our "stuff" into 5 piles:
1 - Quick shipment (up to 1000 pounds that goes by air)
2 - Household Goods (the stuff we "need" to live)
3 - Non-temporary storage (staying in the US - the stuff we can't bear to part with right now)
4 - Things to be stuffed into our suitcases, mailed, or dropped off with relatives
5 - Thrift Shop, recycling, or trash

We're trying to correct the mistakes we made the last time we moved to Germany ten years ago. We have a little better idea of what it could be like and how much we really need. But it has made for more work than before. Six weeks out we started weeding through the basement, our closets and garage. And through the whole process, I have realized that even if I tell myself I need more, I have plenty.

I am more convinced than ever that our impulses to buy more stuff are a symptom of a bigger need than we are willing to admit. And while we think that keeping stuff from the past helps us stay connected, it doesn't always do us much good packed in boxes in the basement or storage space.

But it's hard to remember that things are just things when there is memory attached to them - a picture of your best friend from college - a box of books that you read as a child - Christmas ornaments that were gifts from your grandparents - a sweater that your mother-in-law gave you that is much too big and unfit for wearing in public.

Maybe our plenty is not just defined by the amount that we have but also by the love and memories those things evoke. Watching my beloved treasures get carefully wrapped in paper and packed away in boxes each move reminds me of how blessed I am.

But as our worldly possessions are about to go on a ship or into storage, I am reminded that I am not defined by my stuff but by the way I live out love in the world. I am grateful for the relationships I make in each place I live, and leave behind a military community, United Methodist congregation and friends who laughed and cried with me, celebrated in the good things that happened, and forgave me for the mistakes I made along the way.

Jesus talked to his disciples a lot about what it meant to live out the life that God intended for us in creation. Sometimes they got it, but often then misunderstood what he intended, or couldn't dug deep enough to carry through with his lessons. At his final meal with them, he talked about what friendship is all about.  He said, "This is my commandment: love each other just as I have loved you. 13 No one has greater love than to give up one’s life for one’s friends (John 15:12-13 CEB).


It was only in after the tragedy of Jesus' death and the miracle of his resurrection that the disciples really understood what Jesus had been trying to teach them. It was only in looking forward and taking their learned lessons with them that they were able to see who God intended them to be. And the Church was born.

I am hopeful that this time of ending and new beginning will continue to be evidence of my belief and experience that God is down every road. My time here has been such a joy, and I will be sad to leave. But I also know that God is already in our new place, preparing friendship and ministry for us, probably in ways that we never imagined possible.

I ran across this quote the other day by "accident" - I think it's a good place to end today.  May it be so for each of us every day.

I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition. ~ Martha Washington

Peace, Deb