Sometimes books are hard to read...

Reading occupies two places in my life.  Professionally, I read to enlarge my world... to get new ideas... to be challenged... to gain information to pass on to others.  But I also read for fun - an escape or vacation of sorts.  Some of my favorite books are novels.  The Mitford series by Jan Karon, anything by Debbie Macomber and even Les Miserables by Victor Hugo have transported me into another world, another time, or another reality (think Wrinkle in Time by Madeline L'Engle).

But this week's book did not transport me to a time or place where I wanted to be.  This week's novel, One Second After by William R Forstchen, took me to a time and events that I hope I never have to experience.  Perhaps it was so chilling because the story takes place just an hour from where I grew up.  Perhaps it is because in the beginning, the characters are so much like me, and end up in a place so very different.  Perhaps it is because it's a disaster novel with no real happy ending, although it probably plays out in a realistic way.

Did you ever see the cancelled television series, "Jericho" on CBS?  It ran several years ago for one season and seven episodes.  It actually got cancelled at the end of the first season, but the public outcry for the story lines to come to some conclusion was so great CBS approved a short season to take the viewers to a place where they could say goodbye.  "Jericho" was about multiple nuclear attacks on the United States and how a small farm community in rural Kansas sought to survive in the aftermath of the unthinkable.  One Second After tells the story of a retired Army colonel teaching in a small North Carolina college near Asheville. NC and what happened after all of their access to electricity and technology was cut off.  I don't want to share any more of the plot because some surprising things happen, but I do want to share some of the questions that I was asking after I finished the book.  Just as an aside... I started at 2:30pm on Sunday afternoon and finished before I went to bed at midnight, taking only about 40 minutes out of that time to prepare dinner.  I could not put it down without knowing what happened to the characters... it was that compelling.

So here are my questions:

How dependent am I on technology?  Could I cook, clean and get the things I need to survive for a long period of time?  This question has sort of been answered a couple of times, through a June "almost tornado" and January ice storm in Oklahoma.  Ironically, both times my spouse was away, and so while I wanted to be self sufficient and able to get along on my own, I really had to depend on my friends to help me get through 5 and 8 days respectively without power.  As much as anything, I needed to know that I was not alone.  Isolation was my biggest hurdle.

How dependent is our society on technology?  While I am happy to turn off the television to keep from hearing repetitive or irrelevant news, what would I do if I couldn't know what was going on?  How would our community or society function if we were cut off from all information (and direction) for even a little while?  Would we really revert back to the society of the Middle Ages, or have we come farther than that?

What does it mean to be a moral person?  This was the question that I most struggled with in this book, as I read about the choices people made as they felt their circumstances dictated.  There are many things that I have said I would never do, but if push comes to shove, can I keep those promises?  And along those same lines, what does it mean to be a moral community if we live in a society where it sometimes seems that anything goes?

These are hard questions which often generate other hard questions.  But that's how a society grows stronger... when we think and talk about the hard questions, not always having to agree, but laying out cards on the table and figuring out how to go from where we are to a better place.  That is how we grow... isn't it?

I had a hard time picking a quote, but here's just a paragraph from the first chapter:

But there was "something else" now.  A gut instinct that ran deeper.  Something had gone wrong, what, he still wasn't sure, but there were too many anomalies, with the power off, the cars stalled, except for the Edsel, no planes... Something was wrong.  And at this moment, for the first time in a long while, his "city survival senses" were kicking in.  One Second After, page 42.

Peace, Deb

I'm starting Book #3 today - something much lighter - Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace With Marriage by Elizabeth Gilbert.  This continues her story after Eat, Pray, Love.

Reading is Fun-damental

I posted earlier that I had joined a group of people on Facebook in the quest to read 52 books in a year.  This task seems a little daunting - I gave up reading books to work on sewing and crocheting projects and watch my favorite recorded shows on TV about two years ago.  Not that I quit buying books, mind you... there is a whole stack in my bookcase whose covers have never been opened.  They looked so inviting, but I never made the time commitment to sit down and read them.  But all of that is changed.  And I can happily say at the end of the first week of 2012 that I have completed reading book # 1 - The Time of Our Lives by Tom Brokaw.

I chose this book because I got it as a Christmas present from Shawn's dad.  I've always loved watching Tom on TV, and whether on a news program or as a guest of David Letterman, he's humorous and thoughtful.  He has good Midwest sensibilities, which I never really appreciated until I married someone from Michigan, and then lived in Illinois and North Dakota.  And while I will keep it on the shelf and refer to it from time to time, I'm glad that I read it through in 5 evenings, so that I could get a sense of what he had to share and what it had to do with me.

I think one of the reasons why I liked it was because I really felt that each of the areas he covered he asked questions that I have thought of, even if I have never said them out loud.  He addresses the major issues that people are living with every day.  He gives brief statistics about each subject and then asks two or three questions for the reader to place him or herself in the conversation.  Then he looks at how the topic would have been addressed in the past, how is it seen in the present, and what it looks like in the future.

The author shares liberally from his own personal story - in some ways this allows him to honor the stories of his parents and their families, his wife, his children and grandchildren and his friends.  I was really struck by how the Tom Brokaw we see on TV is the sum of all of his experiences.  And how he has changed his mind about things over the years.  And how there are difficult questions that need to be asked by someone we trust.

I loved some of the questions he raised and I'll be thinking about them a lot this year, in the light of the upcoming elections, and as I look forward to a summer Air Force move and choices I can make in a new place and position.  And while I'm not sure I agree with all of his conclusions, I give him lots of credit for thinking through difficult subjects that many of us have avoided by saying, "Let someone else worry about that."

The lesson I take away from this read is that I have a contribution to make - it is not only my responsibility, but also my honor to try to be part of the solution and not part of the problem.

"For an emerging generation of Americans, now is an opportunity to renew and strengthen that tradition of rising to meet the challenges an unpredictable world places in its path."  Tom Brokaw, The Time of Our Lives, page 149.


Peace, Deb

Book #2 - One Second After - a novel by William R Forstchen
recommended by my non-reader spouse who is dying to talk about it with someone....

Becoming a reader again...

I have not been a person to make New Year's resolutions... I'm not that much into setting myself up for disappointment or failure. So I haven't made a commitment to go to the gym or join Weight Watchers.  I did get a new FitBit for Christmas, which helps me track my steps and my movement.  Hopefully it will continue to be an encouragement for me as I strive toward a healthier lifestyle again this year.

I know what my strengths and limitations are.  I am good at the big picture... grabbing a vision of what should be happening and thinking of steps along the way.  I'm not as enchanted with the small details, although when I'm committed to the process it usually turns out well.  I also like making things with my hands, like pies and shawls, but not scrapbooking or painting.  I've loved making scarves and hat and the occasional purse or afghan for my friends and family, and have like quilting for my nieces and nephews.  It gives me a special feeling to make something useful for someone (although I have been told by several family members that they don't need any more scarves...)

All of this is a change for me.  Until the last couple of years I would have classified myself as a reader.  I have a whole bookcase full of books that I love so much I can't get rid of them... I want to make sure they are available to read again and again and again.  But lately I haven't been reading too many books.  Instead, I have been lured into the short read.  Articles, sermons and blogs have taken up most of my reading time, and mostly on my computer or IPod or phone.  I'll admit it, I've been lured away from books by the act of multitasking.  Often I can digest something small and still fit in a project or TV program or two.

Well, those days are over, my friends, or at least curtailed for a little while each week.  For today I committed to join with a group of friends to read one book a week for the next year... that's right... I am going to reclaim my place as a "reader" and read 52 books in the next year.  This task seems a little daunting, except that I already have a whole house full of books from which to choose.  So I am going to add to this feat by attempting to not purchase any book for reading.  If I'm not excited by what I have in the house, I'll go to the library or borrow from a friend.  I'll let you know how I'm doing.

And I'll let you know what I'm reading and what I'm thinking about what I read.  Don't worry - I won't stop reading articles and sermons and blogs for fun, but I'm excited that this has the potential to help me grow a little more this year.

This week's book is The Time of Our Lives by Tom Brokaw, a Christmas gift from my father-in-law, Tim.  I'll let you know what I think when I'm done.

Until then, have a wonderful week and Happy New Year!

Peace, Deb

" Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers."  - Harry S Truman

Anxieties of the Season

The Christmas season is filled with lots of joy...  after all, we are celebrating the birth of our living Lord and king.  But this season is also filled with great anxiety.  Questions come to us in the middle of the night.  For some it's about choosing the "right" gift... for others it's about allocation of funds - is there enough money to have a good celebration?.  For others, the holidays highlight problems in family relationships.  For others still, this is a Christmas separated from those we love, by distance or by death.

We want Christmas to be perfect, but our imperfections as human beings often get in the way of the perfection we so desire.  Take my anxiety, for example.  This week I have to pray.

"OK," you say, "so what?  You pray every day... it's your job to pray... you're a professional prayer."

Yes, I reply, but this Friday night is different.  This week I will give the invocation at my husband's holiday office dinner.  This week I pray outside of my AOR (area of responsibility).  This week is the same, but feels different.

In my preparation (yes, we do prepare for these things), I am thinking of the variety of faith experiences that I may encounter... those who might not accept me as their pastor because I am a woman.... those might think that my prayer is too religious... and those who might think that it is not religious enough.  I think about the fact that I don't want to embarrass my husband, or my Church, or my God.  But maybe that's the problem.... maybe I think too much.

As I woke up this morning, a prayer came to me.  I hurried downstairs and quickly typed it up before it was driven out by the busyness of the day.  And in this process, I realized that all of my worry is about me, and doesn't place much power with the One to whom we pray.  So, thank you, God, for giving me the words to share.... the prayer to pray... and the peace to pray it in love.

And may it be so with you, whatever your anxieties of the season.

Peace, Deb


"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."  John 14:27 (NIV)

Holy and ever-living God, we thank you for this day, and for all the blessings of our lives.  For family, friends, and good work… for opportunities to share in the gifts of our lives and our livings… for the possibility of a peaceful world… and the will to make that peace a reality.  We lift up this night those who are separated by work, war and death.  We ask that you would give us strength to persevere in the midst of the uncertainties of our daily lives, and in the lives of those around us.  We thank you for this family of friends and colleagues gathered this night, as we remember the work that we have done together, and ask that you would continue to help us function in unity, gathered to do good work in a time of great change in our world.  Bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies, so that we may serve in grace and peace.  In humbleness we pray.  Amen.

It's all about friendship

Last week I went with my husband while he took a class in Ohio.  To some it would have looking boring... in a hotel room all day with no car (because he had to drive to class) and a weight limit on my luggage that kept me from taking along too many projects to keep me busy.  As it turns out, even the projects I took didn't get as much progress as I had hoped, mainly because I found a little bit of home, right there in Dayton.

You see, there in western Ohio, I had friends (hello, Katie, Alex & Carter, Tina & Emma, Terrie & Jimmy) and family (Ola, Chuck, Drew, Zach, Chelsea, Matt & Silas).  So each day was filled with opportunities to catch up with people whom I had know from my previous lives.  Katie and her sons took me to lunch on Monday.  She was a member of a bible study I led in Oklahoma and part of our tanker squadron there.  Tina and her daughter took me to lunch on Tuesday.  We used to live across the street from each other, and her husband was my doctor once upon a time.  Our few hours together grew our friendship and I am grateful for her hospitality.

On Monday night, we drove to Columbus to have dinner with my sister and her family, just in time to celebrate my nephew's 12th birthday.  Pizza, cake and Jeni's Splendid Ice Cream made for a perfect day.  And as an added bonus I got to hold my grandnephew, Silas, for a few minutes before his diaper needed to be changed.  On Tuesday night we met up with our friends Terrie and Jimmy, with whom we double dated many years ago, and who were in our wedding just six weeks before I performed their wedding.  We caught up on the happenings of our families and our lives.  I had seen them earlier this year, but for Shawn it had been over 10 years since he had seen them.  We picked up like we had just had dinner a few weeks before.

On Wednesday I worked on projects at the hotel and on Thursday, Shawn's dad drove down from Detroit and we visited the National Museum of the Air Force... and then he and I went back for a behind the scenes tour on Friday.  When Shawn was done, we drove to Michigan to spend an action-packed weekend with his family, including a volleyball game, helping around the house, grocery shopping, dinner-cooking, Christmas cookie-making, church, a visit with Aunt Fran and her whole family, visiting the cemetery, decorating the sanctuary for Advent, and dinner with the family who were our partners in crime.  All to come home and watch the last NASCAR race of the season (DVR'd for our convenience) and see Shawn's favorite driver Tony Stewart win his third championship title.

A quick flight home on Monday and we're totally settled into our routine again.  And it's all in time to have Thanksgiving dinner with some of our AF friends on Thursday, start decorating the house for Christmas over the weekend, and immerse ourselves into holiday activities and the spirit of Christ's birth.

The biggest blessing of our Air Force life is the great relationships that we have made over the years.  We have lived in and traveled to many unbelievable places, but in our remote assignments we have found that it's the friendships that carry you through.  We are blessed to know that in most of the places where the Air Force could send us, we will know somebody.  Or somebody who knows somebody we know.  And we have had great church families, mostly local folks who know that we're not around forever, but take a change to love us anyway.  And keep in touch when we go to start over someplace else.

Over the last couple of years we have also grown closer to our families.  We have realized how precious those relationships are, and are taking more opportunities to spend time together whenever we can.  And we try not to take those experiences for granted, because you never know what the next year will have in store.

So this Thanksgiving, I am grateful for family and friends... for the people who love us and for the differences we can make together in the world.  And I pray that God will continue to show me how to be a good friend and not take the friendships (and familyships) I have for granted.

Peace, Deb


My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  John 15:12-13 (NIV)

Misuse of Power Hurts Everyone

"Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely."  Lord Acton (1887)

 There are a lot of stories in the news right now about the misuse of power.  And a lot of people are denying or defending allegations against them or those they know.  Sometimes it involves doing the wrong thing.  Other times it's about not doing the right thing when it needs to be done. Whether in politics, sports, business, military, school, church or family, the misuse of power has caused a great many people a great deal of pain.

I’ve observed some things over the last few years which have been racing around in my brain this week about what happens when a misuse of power is discovered.  First, the person accused often claims to have no idea that they have done anything wrong.  Many times this plays out as denial, to community and to self.  Or accusations that others are out to get them. Or setting up the accuser as the initiator of the incidence or as a person of lesser character.  It is a rare occurrence when someone stands up from the very beginning and says, "Yes, I did it and I'm sorry."

Second, people, while horrified, are likely to make excuses for the one who has crossed the line.  Whether it’s wealth or position or reputation as an icon, many of those who have misused their power don’t understand what all the fuss is about.  And those around them want to protect them.

Third, those of us on the sidelines are often disgusted, frustrated and angry, but don’t really know what to do.  We don’t have a good means of dealing with the disappointments that come when people we admire and love commit a terrible wrong.  So often we do nothing.

This fall (2011) we have been inundated with stories and images that make these points, some sexual, some financial, some in the realm of church life.  And again and again these stories take us away from the really important issues of the day.  We get caught up in the scandal, like rubbernecking at an accident on the side of the highway.  The details of the stories become almost unimportant in relation to the problem at the very core:  As Christians, we don’t take seriously the biblical mandate to take care of one another.

It’s not like these problems are isolated to us as Americans or the actions of present day people.  The biblical story is filled with these exact same situations, separated by a couple of thousand years.  Think of David and Bathsheba… seduction of a wife and murder of a soldier husband to cover up the crime (2 Samual 11).  Think of Jesus’ parable of the rich man and Lazarus, a pauper who begged at the rich man’s gate.  When they died, the beggar went to heaven, but the rich man to Hades, for the disregard he had shown for others when he was alive (Luke 16:19-31).  Think of Jesus’ own trial and crucifixion.  The Jewish priests and leaders trumped up charges on Jesus to get rid of his influence of others.  Even Pilate knew that Jesus was innocent and washed his hand of the matter, laying full blame on those in power in the Jewish community of Jerusalem (Matthew 27:11-26).

So if this misuse of power is endemic in our history and culture, do we have to give in and accept that “stuff just happens”?  No, I don’t believe we should.  I don’t believe that we can let that happen.  But we do have to understand the problem. 

Power or authority comes with tremendous responsibility.  Many leaders forget that is responsibility to care for and protect those under their power.  It should mean sacrifice of personal needs in order that other’s needs be met.  The problem comes when we give into the “if it feels good, do it” mentality.  This is compounded when we don’t understand that those under our authority look to us as the keepers of their wellbeing and will often do things that are wrong in order to secure their positions. 

I’ve participated in several workplace ethics seminars.  And from them I have taken away this idea - that people under our care and control do not have freewill to refuse our requests.  If we ask them to do things that are inappropriate, their first internal question is, “How will this affect my position if I say 'No"?”  Effectively, they don’t have the ability to give consent, because we hold over them a fear that their lives will be put into disorder if they refuse.  This dynamic often plays out as sexual misconduct or harassment or in financial misdoings.  And these actions don’t just affect the ones in the act… the ripple effect can be seen throughout families, companies and churches where these activities reside.  Reputations are ruined, lives disrupted and relationships and trust are destroyed.

All of these stories call us to action.
1 – to be very mindful of the relationships we have with others and make sure that we are not putting them or us into difficult situations.
2 – to be on the watch for inappropriate uses of power by others, calling attention to them in the most constructive way possible.
3 – to be brave and speak the truth in love.  These conversations usually start in private and begin with “I am concerned about what I think I am seeing…”
4 – to use appropriate channels to ask questions and share concerns, in a spirit of truth and not out of spite or revenge.

As a Christian, I want to be a person who does more than that which is required by the law of the land, and instead a person who does what is commanded by the love of God. These steps are all difficult and require prayer and support. This is a dangerous road to travel in this world we live in, but one that we must practice walking every day.

The quote at the top of the page is well-known.  It lifts up a negative aspect of power and brings it into the light, as if it were the ultimate truth.  But what if we lived by another truth…  our call to live out our vocations and callings in love and in faithfulness.  What if we took our faith commitments seriously in every aspect of our lives? What would the world look like if we lived this way every day?

Peace, Deb

“… God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.  We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.” (1 John 4:16-21) NIV

A little show and tell

Someone asked me why I created this blog. I thought about it for a long time before I knew what to say. Practically, I started blogging as a spiritual discipline during Lent. I wanted to keep track of what I was thinking as Easter approached, of how I was going to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus while I was still grieving over the death of my husband's mother, and in anticipation of my 10th move as a military spouse.

When Easter came, I realized that this blog was also a way to share with my community of family and friends... most of whom I do not see or talk to everyday, but who love me from afar. I continue to write because I need to be present outside myself and my little corner of the world. Maybe it helps some of you... I hope there's a little seed that get's planted each time I write. I know that it helps me, and I thank you for your encouragement when it touches you and your indulgence when I'm just talking loudly to myself.


Maybe you noticed that I haven't posted in a month... several reasons for that.  We had 22 people come from out of town for my husband's recent promotion celebration.  Maybe I'll post more about that week later.  All I'll say right now is that I successfully guided 23 people to the Pentagon and back by public transportation during the morning rush hour.  No one was injured and no one got lost.  I consider that a victory.  More importantly, we had a great time.

The other reason I haven't posted is because I'm not sure that what I have to say is all that important.  I don't want my postings to be self-important or silly.  So while I don't think I have anything profound to say today, I do have a report of my recent activities and some pictures to go along.  Think of it as my version of "show and tell".

Two 13 year olds in one year!

Crafting: Many of my friends are very crafty. In North Dakota, we quilted... it's good to have a warm hobby in a state where it's cold for most of the year. It wasn't something I chose. My friend, Bev, registered me for my first class to get me out of the house while my husband deployed a couple of weeks after we moved there in January. I love the piecing and struggle with the actual quilting part. I made a promise to make a quilt for each of my nieces and nephews when they turned 13... Five done, two to go... I follow some quilting blogs to give me more ideas for patterns and fabric choices. I even bought a sewing machine that can handle the process of sewing all those layers together... but a few years ago I became distracted from my quilting by other kind of needlework... crochet.

Baby Andrea with her blanket

My mom and both grandmothers all crocheted. They tried to teach me when I was a teenager. I just wasn't interested. But about five years ago, I went with Shawn on a TDY (business trip), and while looking for something to keep me occupied while he was working, I bought a skein of yarn and a "teach yourself to crochet" kit - the rest is history. I have spent many afternoon and evening crocheting for the people I love. Last year I made over 40 scarves, prayer shawls and baby blankets for friends and family members. I went a little yarn crazy, stashing it here and there. When we moved I realized how much I had collected and so lately I'm been making scarves for a project at church. But the crochet blogs I follow are about making clothes. This winter I'm making a cardigan for myself. There... I said it out loud, so I hope you'll keep me accountable. I'll post pictures as I go along.

Cooking:

Yummy Lentil Soup

I've always liked cooking, but lately it seems to give me a lot of joy. Maybe it's because I the time to plan and prepare... maybe it's because our tastes have widened and we now like lots of different kinds of foods. I love looking at cooking blogs because they not only give me a recipe but also the story that goes along with it. And pictures... cooking blogs have lots of pictures. Some of my friends have started photographing their food, and I love looking at those pictures. I guess I'm still too much about enjoying the preparation. I never remember to take the pictures until it's already done. I have started posting some recipes on this blog and on my Facebook page. Mostly I just like expanding my repertoire and enjoying the fruit of my labor.  I was really glad when the weather turned cooler so I could start making my Lentil Soup again.

Theology:
I read a lot of blogs.  Some of them are about crafting.  Many are about cooking.  But the largest number of blogs I read are related to religion and theology. They cover a variety of areas - discipleship, history, current events, missions, sermons, teaching... the list is almost endless, and the authors are always thinking outside of my box or comfort zone. Since I'm not serving a church right now, I think these blogs help me feel connected to the conversations that are happening in churches right now. They help me to push outside of my own perspective. They help me to understand where other people are coming from. They show me how others are living out their faith.

It's easy to get comfortable where we are... to depend on the status quo and just keep doing the same old thing. It's hard to continually expose ourselves to new things... to be willing to stand firm when that is called for and to be willing to change when that change is needed. This holds true for me in what I do for fun, how I care for my family and friends, and how I continue to use my gifts of teaching and friendship in the church and the rest of my life.

So that's where I am right now, blessed and trying to be faithful everyday.  May God bless you wherever you are, too.

Peace in Christ,
Deb

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart.  Wait for the Lord."  Psalm 27:14