Happiness is being "The Pie Lady"

This weekend we went to a picnic with five families from previous assignments,  When deciding what to make, I decided on making two of my favorite pies - the Chocolate Chip Derby Pie and the Cherry Berry Pie.  On Saturday morning, I gathered the ingredients, made the crusts and set out for the task at hand.  When Shawn came in the kitchen, he asked, "Why pie?  No one at this party will know that you're the Pie Lady.  This is your chance to remake yourself... no need to be chained to the past."

I thought about this for a minute or two.  After bringing pies to many events in the last five years, it didn't really occur to me that I would NOT bring pie, even if I was bringing something else.  I've worked hard to develop my recipes, and am happy to share with people who enjoy them.  And so I replied, "But I'm happy for pie to be "my thing."  It's a dying art and I don't want it to get lost in the process."

And so we went with our two pies to the picnic... and the Pie Lady still lives on.

So in my effort to keep the art of pie making alive, I'm sharing with you some of my best tips.

1 - I've used Pillsbury Refrigerated Crust since it came out... and it's a really good crust.  In fact, I keep a package in the freezer in case of a pie emergency.  But  I have finally found a crust recipe that works consistently for me.  And so I'm going to share that with you, just so that you can see if it works for you, too.

2 - Most fruit pies need a bottom crust and a top crust.  The top one can be the same crust as the bottom, but the top one can be a mixture of flour, sugar, butter and oatmeal, often called a streusel topping.  Cherry and apple are especially good with streusel topping.  And if you're going to top your pie with a regular crust, do something fancy like cutting out shapes with a cookie cutter (I'm partial to stars) or making a lattice top.  Don't think that's too hard because I've taught my nieces and nephews to make lattice tops, so you can learn it, too.

3 - Know your oven.  The time in a recipe is usually a starting place for me.  You want the top crust to be brown and crisp-looking and the filling to be bubbly toward the center.  If it's not, your pie will be soupy in the middle.

4 - Cooked pies need to cool to lukewarm or room temperature, otherwise they will run when cut and make the bottom crust soggy.

5 - Fruit pie and ice cream is an equivalent breakfast to cereal with fruit and milk.

Deb's Very Easy Pie Crust
(If you don't have shortening, you can use all butter.)
[I use a food processor, but you can make this with a pastry blender or two knives to cut the fat into the flour.]
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp salt
8 tablespoons butter (1 stick), chilled and cut into small pieces
4 tablespoons shortening
6-8 tablespoons ice-cold water

Place the flour and salt in the bowl of your food processor or mixer.  Add the butter pieces and the shortening and cut into the flour.  In a food processor, pulse the mixture until the fat is broken down into pieces the size of peas.  If using a mixer, use a pastry blender or two knives to cut the fat into the flour.  After that is accomplished, add the ice cold water a tablespoon at a time until the crust comes together in a ball.  This usually takes 5-7 tablespoons, depending on the humidity and the brand of flour you use.  (If I'm not using my food processor I do this part with the dough hook on my mixer.)

Pour the crust mixture out on a lightly floured surface and bring together in a ball.  Divide into two pieces, pat into round disks about 4 inches in diameter, and wrap in plastic wrap.  Chill for at least 30 minutes.  Can be held overnight or frozen for future use.

When ready to put the pie together, bring the dough out of the refrigerator and use a rolling pin to make into a 12-inch circle.  Line a 9 or 10-inch pie plate with the dough.  Ease it into the corners at the bottom of the plate carefully.  If it tears, no worries, just piece it back together.

Repeat with the top crust - crimp edges to seal so that the juices won't run into the bottom of your oven.  (I usually bake mine on a cookie sheet lined with foil, just in case.)

Fruit Filling (I find that most fruit pies (not apple) use the same proportions fairly well.)
3 cups of fruit (raspberries, blackberries, cherries, peaches, rhubarb & apricots work well, often in combination)
1/2 to 3/4 cup granulated sugar, depending on taste
2 tablespoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons corn starch or tapioca
2 tablespoons butter, melted
(cherry and berry pies often benefit from the addition of 1/4 teaspoon of almond extract)

Mix filling ingredients together and place in prepared pie crust.  If you use frozen fruit, you may need to drain the excess juice, otherwise your pie may overflow it's borders.  Bake at 375-400 degrees for 30 minutes, check the pie, and if the pie is browning on the edges, turn the temperature down to 350.  Or you can over the pie loosely with aluminum foil, to keep it from browning too fast.

Struesel Topping
1/2 cup of all-purpose flour

1/2 cup oatmeal (old-fashioned or quick, not instant)

1/2 cup of butter, melted

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/2 teaspoon of salt

Mix ingredients together into a sandy mixture.  Sprinkle on top of fruit mixture in crust and bake as previously described.

Enjoy!

Peace, Deb

Is compromise a dirty word?

com-pro-mise (a noun)

1. a settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc.; by reciprocal modification of demands.
2. The result of such a settlement.
3. something intermediate between different things.

All you have to do is listen to the news to hear the sentiment that compromise is a dirty word.  It seems that this idea runs like a river throughout every segment of our society - in our government, our churches, our schools and our families.  And while I really do believe that it's important to stand up strongly for the things that we believe in, I wonder how we can be willing to alienate those around us in the process, all for the claim of being "right."  

When I lived in North Dakota, I had the opportunity to volunteer for a wonderful organization, The Conflict Resolution Center.  It just so happened that my office at UND was in their building, and I became intrigued with what they did.  That first year I took a 50-hour training in Transformative Mediation, which seeks to help parties in conflict  acknowledge (and hopefully understand at least a little) the perspective of the other.  Sometimes parties were able to come to resolution through real compromise, each giving a little and making a middle ground with which both could live.  Sometimes people understood the other client's motivations, and were able to adjust their expectations.  And sometimes people just agreed to disagree.  The Center continues even ten years later to have a great record of helping members of communities, workplaces and families live more peaceful lives together.

This training and experience has been invaluable to me as a pastor and as a member of the varied communities in which I have lived.  I have seen great transformations come from listening and honoring the right that others have to their own opinions.  So you imagine that living near our nation's capital will be a challenge for me.  Even the local news is filled with disagreements that seem to radiate from the institutions of power.  And if it seems like I'm watching more Food Network here, that might be the reason.

Today in my devotion, I read a passage from Paul's letter to the Romans (Chapter 14 - I highly recommend the whole chapter in The Message translation).  In it he writes about how this new Christian community can live peacefully within a large group of people who do not share their beliefs.  Paul did not advocate pushing doctrinal beliefs on those around them.  Instead, he says that we are to live out our faith beliefs consistently and stop imposing our beliefs on others.  I am especially encouraged when he says, "So let's agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don't drag them down by finding fault" (v19).  

It's easy to get pulled into the fray when everyone around you is losing their minds.  Paul's words are a good reminder that our lives are a reflection of who God is to us.  If we live with compassion (and in my mind, willingness to consider compromise), then that reflects well.  And so, my goal for the next year is to work hard to be a consensus builder and not give in to the way of distrust and needing to be right.  Wish me the peace of Christ in the process.

Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do. And don't jump all over them every time they do or say something you don't agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently. (Romans 14:1 The Message)

Stuff is not just stuff

I spent part of today polishing silver.  We actually have very little, but the pieces we do have are very special,   like the salt and pepper shaker from Shawn's grandmother, and the tea biscuit container from Ms. Melia in Summerville, and the footed butter dish from Mrs. Bemis at my Alton church, who gifted it to me when she went to live in an assisted living center (be careful about saying you like something when you visit - you may end up giving it a permanent home).

As we have spent the last week unpacking from our most recent move, I have thought a lot about the things we have gathered over the years of our marriage and even before.  The things that we carry with us from house to house span the years of our lives, from our births to our recent birthdays.  And I think that I have been able to divide them into four categories.

Personal and Profound:  Obviously, these are the most important of our belongings.  Wedding photos, childhood mementos, treasured gifts and other belongings go in this category.  There is a story that goes with many of these items.  One of our packers was very chatty, and I was able to share with him the history of many of the items we keep in a glass-fronted bookcase that came from my grandmother's house.  It's not just the antique glass and childhood bank that mean something to us, it's also the piece of furniture itself that has great personal value.  It stood in my grandmother's house for decades, filled with books, and over the years I read every one of them, including Peyton Place when I was 14.  We refinished it and replaced the glass when it was broken in our second and third moves.  We watch them carefully wrap it with each move, placing layers of cardboard over the doors to protect them from being broken again.  And each time we set it up, we tell the stories of the items we place inside.  This bookcase is a mirror into our pasts, and tells not only a part of our stories, but the stories of our families and the love that we all share. 

Fond Memories:  There are a lot of these items roaming around our house.  We still love the cake cover and wine glasses we got from squadron friends at our wedding.  We regularly use items that were given as farewell gifts from friends at different churches and bases.  Each time we see them, they remind us of lives shared well, and how blessed we are to have friendships that have withstood the test of time.

Might Need Someday:  This comprises a lot of what we have gone through this week.  Many of our boxes have been in storage since before we left for Germany in 2004. We started going through them before we moved, and we loaded up the back of my Avalanche four times with household items, books and furniture to take to Goodwill or the church yard sale.  And still, I already have four boxes of the same kind of stuff to go out for the Purple Heart truck next week when they come to our street.  These are the things we used someplace, and thought we might need again, but lived without for almost seven years.  Hopefully these items will find a good home with people who need what they can provide.

No Clue:  And then there are these items - half burned candles, broken lampshades and brittle, sun-fried plastic flowerpots, bags of packing peanuts, and magazines and journals from 1995.  These items have been properly disposed of (our trash and recycling people were very busy today), and tomorrow when the unpacked boxes are taken away, my spouse will be able to pull his car into the garage, which is why we have really been working so hard all week.

Our stuff is more than just stuff.  It is an accumulation of things, but also represents the phases and relationships of our lives.  Don't worry - when all is said and done, we'll still have a lot of stuff, but I hope be can be more mindful of how it can be useful in the present, and mindful of people we love. 

I am still wrestling with Jesus' challenge to leave behind the things of the world in order to follow him.  Maybe clearing out the clutter will take me one step closer to what he intended life to be about.

Peace, Deb

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you?  What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving.  People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works.  Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions.  Don't worry about missing out.  You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met."  (Matthew 6:^30-33  The Message)

I remember when...

So, we've all heard someone say, "I remember when..."  Maybe it has even been one of us.  Sometimes this statement is preface to a great memory... a wedding, the birth of a child, a funny situation from childhood or something crazy we did with friends.  But other times this statement is the preface to a story of a different kind... a story which reflects the belief that things were better, safer, or more honorable in a time that is past or before some significant change occurred.


We hear this a lot today - in the church and in society.  Some people believe that life would be good if there was never any change, or if we could go back to the way things used to be, as if that would be a magical cure to all that is wrong with the world.  But think of what we would have to "give back" if we were miraculously able to go back in time.  think about conveniences like smartphones and the internet... innovations in medicine and machinery... and for me, relationships that would have never materialized if things always stayed the same.


I remember than when I talked to my parents about going to seminary, my mom was worried, because her dad was a minister, and she wanted a more stable life for me than she remembered growing up.   And I must admit that I took her concerns seriously, and prepared to be able to come and leave and come again.  (Little did she know that I would meet and marry a wonderful man who really give me a mobile lifestyle.)  It has not always been easy, and I have not always been happy right away in new situations.  But I think that I am the better for all the changes in my life.  And I hope that I have made a difference in the lives of people that I have known and loved.  So I can give thanks everyday for the opportunities that I have had to do new and different things and to live in lots of different kinds of places.


But the price I have the pay is going on around me... the sound of crinkling paper and tape being pulled and boxes being filled.  These are long days, and there are long days on the other end, too.  But in the end, this change means good things, if only because we get to decide that good will come from all that happens around us.  


We each get to choose how we react and respond to the change that goes on in our lives and in the world.  The life that I live calls me not only to serve Christ in my heart, but live out that life in my relationships with others.  Remember this: Joyful and compassionate people make for joyful and compassionate communities, and together, we can do anything.  Paul's words to the Colossians help us learn how do live these kinds of lives.  May these words be written in our hearts and lived out in our lives as we all face the change before us, now and in the time to come.  


Peace, Deb 


Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:12-14 NIV)

How to make a new life

So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God. (Philippians 1:9-11 The Message)

It's that time again.   Soon our home will be visited by men and women who will wrap things up and place them in cardboard boxes or wrap them in heavy blankets, accompanied by the sounds of crinkling paper and tape being despensed.  And at the end of all of their efforts, they will load our possessions into a large truck and drive it down the highway to our new life.  It's all really exhausting to think about, and these last weeks will be filled with both joy and sorrow, just as they have in the past.

I counted the other day.  This is my ninth move in sixteen years as an Air Force spouse (eleventh if you count moving into Shawn's house when we got married and moving to a second house in Oklahoma).  And before that I moved five other times, not even counting moving into and out of the dorms at college and grad school for seven years.  So you think that I would be used to all of this activity, both physical and emotional.  And in some ways I am, but even so, this process stirs up many different emotions, each and every time.

I remember the feeling of watching my friends Rachel and Bill drive away, leaving me to start a new life at Duke Divinity School.  This chapter of my life would have been entitled, "Got Call?."  I can still hear the little voice in my head saying, "What have you done?"  And there were several sleepless nights while I tried to push down my panic, and many prayers that I had not embarked on a fool's errand.  That first day at Duke was overwhelming, and as I walked to the parking lot after orientation, I remember there was another woman walking with me.  We started chatting, and somewhere in the conversation I let out the fact that I was headed home to watch my favorite soap opera.  Wouldn't you know it was hers, too.  And so a friendship began.

Twenty-four years later, our friendship is still strong.  I don't even know if she still watches General Hospital, but now it doesn't matter, because we have some many other things in common, and many shared experiences.  One reason I'm happy to go to our next assignment is that she will be only four hours away. I hope we get to spend some wonderful time together.

Everywhere we move, I get this same feeling of mild panic, and wonder the same thing: How will I make a life in this place?  In the beginning, it was a real question.  Now it's more of an affirmation of the limits of my own power to control the future.  I think I was prepared for this kind of life when I was just a member of the Methodist clergy, but add to that my other identity as a member of a military family, and it's all a little bit crazy.  (Someone once told me I'm taking iteneracy way too seriously.)  The physical task of packing, cleaning and unpacking does take it's toll, but it's also hard to say goodbye to friends who have come to mean a lot to me, even in only 10 months.  And so I work hard to see these friendships as gifts, given and received, and I give thanks for them everyday.  And then there is the questions surrounding new friendships and activities:  "Where will we worship?"  "Will I be able to get an appointment at the clinic?"  "Mahjongg, anyone?" and the ever-important "Will people like me?"

When I look to my new life just 400 miles away, I know that God is preparing a place for me to love and be loved, to serve and to live.  I know this because this has always been true in the past, and I trust it is true for the future, now and forever.  I will admit that this move is made a little easier because there are already so many that I know and love close to our new location.  Now I just have to remember that it's not going to be the same as before, and to take whatever comes as new gifts to be received and used well.

So how do you make a new life?  You give thanks for the experience you are leaving and be ready to receive all that is to come.  And know that God is everywhere, binding the hurts, healing the pain, and make a future to be lived with full gusto and unafraid.

So here we go.  Take a deep breath - ready, set.... MOVE!

Peace, Deb

PS - I still watch GH, just in case you were wondering.

This life is a risky business...

Our society is obsessed with safety.  We want to keep ourselves, our children and our world as safe as possible.  And so we develop technologies and techniques to help us feel like we are taking the minimum amount of risk.  For instance, our cars are equipped with airbags and shoulder harnesses.  Our children sit in car or booster seats until they are reaching adolescence.  Many children play inside because they don't feel safe playing outdoors.  And most of us have stopped talking to strangers... it is as if we believe that the only people we can trust are the ones we know. 

I don't think that's the way it's supposed to be.  I like talking to people in airports and grocery stores... the more anonymous, the better.  And while many look at me like I am little bit crazy, I'm always amazed at the generous reaction that some people have to these spontaneous offers of community.  I had a great conversation with a woman in the security line at the airport in February.  It went something like this... I smiled... she smiled... I made a comment about how much I was looking forward to the coming spring.  She remarked that we still had a lot of winter left to live (she was right).  I had watched her say goodbye to a family at the security entrance, so I asked, "Leaving home or going home?"  She talked about how much fun she had with her daughter's family.  Then the tables turned.  "How about you?  Going home or someplace else."  I replied, "I'm going to help out with my mother-in-law who has just entered hospice care at home."  "Oh," she said.  "I did that with my mom.  I hope it's a wonderful experience for you because it was for me."  'I"m sure it will be," I said.  "I love her very much." "I'll  keep you in my prayers," she said.  And we walked on our way to take off our coats and scarves and shoes for the waiting officials. 

We had made a connection... experienced a little bit of community.  What started as an inconsequential encounter left an impression on me.  But it took a tiny risk to make that connection possible.  And since then, I've thought a lot about what makes me willing to risk rejection from perfect strangers.  Here are some of the things that have given me the courage to step out in faith to make a stranger a friend.

First, my mom can make friends with anyone, at the drop of a hat, so I think I get it honestly.  Shawn's mom was exactly the same way.  The cashiers and baggers at her grocery store even came to her funeral.  It might be in my DNA but it's also been modeled to me by the people who are important in my life.  Second, somewhere along the way, I got taught that if people don't respond it's not because they are rejecting me personally.  Talking to me might be outside their comfort zone, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try.  Third, I have seen how these little conversations have led to actual friendships.  As a military spouse and a pastor, I often talk with people who may or may not know who I am, but being approachable and willing to say "Hi" and smile can go a long way toward beginning a lifelong friendship.  And fourth, I think that this is the what Paul was talking about when he wrote in 1 Thessalonians 1:2-3.  We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers. We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. (NIV)  

This willingness to take the risk of friendship, service and even rejection are all a part of my call as a disciple of Jesus Christ.  We often think it's the grand gestures that make the biggest difference.  But it's the small steps that help us practice living our faith everyday.  And if we practice small risks on a daily basis, we'll be ready to step out in faith when the big risks come, prompted by love and inspired by hope in the one who calls us to this crazy, risky life.  In those two weeks that followed my last trip to Michigan, I thought of this stranger, this new friend, praying for me and for our family, and it gave me peace.  Her smile and her prayers remind me that if we are not willing to take the risk, we will miss out on the many blessings in store for us along the way.

When we left North Dakota, I cried all the way to the Minnesota/Wisconsin border.  My husband finally said, "Nobody cries this hard when they leave North Dakota."  And when I told him I was sad to leave all of my friends, he said, "Maybe at this next place you shouldn't make so many friends."  (Ten years later he can honestly say I looked at him as if he had two heads.)  I replied, "Look, you have two choices.  I can make new friends and be sad to leave, or not make any friends and be miserable all the time."  "Are those my only two choices?" he asked.  "Yes," I replied.  He just shook his head, thinking he had come up with the perfect solution, but not understanding that it just wasn't who I am.

Many of my friends are preparing to go to new assignments and appointments this summer.  Others will stay where they are, but people they love will leave.  There are often tears in the midst of the transition, and all of us wonder if taking the friendship risk and having to say goodbye are worth all of the strain and pain.  And after 10 Air Force moves and serving 4 ministry locations, I can say without hesitation, yes it is. 

So go with God... and know that this life is a risky business... and we are not alone.

Peace, Deb

Loving is a way of life...

I'm volunteering at a church in Rhode Island and enjoying it very much.  I've been meeting with a group women weekly for study, prayer and support.  In these last seven months, we have grown in friendship and in faith.  We have read books and scripture together.  We have shared our joys and sorrows.  We have laughed and we have cried.  Our time together is valued and valuable.  We are sisters together in Christ.

Someone from the congregation told me our study titles sounded like a self-help section at the local book store.  I'm not sure if it was meant to be a compliment, but after thinking about it, I have decided that I will take it as a one.  You see, I think that we can study scripture all day and night, but if we can't figure out how to apply it to the way we live, it's just an intellectual exercise.  The pastoral letters are good about teaching theology and practice.  Paul was especially adept at challenging wayward behavior, and then showing the people a better way to live out their faith.

Today our class looked at a small passage from I John 4: 7-16.  I thought that it was especially helpful in light of the sweeping events of the last few days. How do you love in a world that is riddled with conflict, disagreement and hatred and war.  This is what I learned:

1. Loving others is a reflection of the way that we love God.  If we don't love others, then we are not living our the love or our lives the way that God wants us to live.
2. Loving others means looking at others through God's eyes.  That means putting the name of the most difficult or hated person you know in this sentence: "Whoever does not love _______ does not know God, because God is love."  This takes love to a whole new level.  How can we do this?  The simple answer is that we cannot do this by ourselves .
3. Loving others puts our love of God to the test.  This is the place where growth happens...  where prayer and scripture and Christian friendship help us to look past our own needs and wants and to the needs and wants of others.  This kind of love brings to bear all the difficult choices, like learning to love even when we disagree, and compromise in the midst of difficult choices.  It means accepting people where they are and hopefully loving them to a new place, and hoping they will do the same for us.

As a Christian, I have realized that I can not do this alone.  I need the tools of faith to help me to grow.  I need to be faithful in prayer and worship, in study and practice, to do the easy thing and the hard thing.  I need friends who will support and challenge and correct me when I need it.  I need to learn not just to trust that God has me in the palm of his hand, but also my enemy.  God is big enough to hold and love us all.  Who knows what joy is in store for us if we will only put love at the top of our to-do list every day?

I know that loving God has changed me.  I have seen it also change others.  What kind of world would this be if we all trusted that love will bring us together, even if we don't all look and act and live alike?  May God's grace fill me and help me to go on to perfection every day in every way.  And may we grow in faith together, loving God and one another more each day, even when it is the most difficult thing we have thought we could never do.

This quote is attributed to John Wesley, but even if he didn't say it just like this, it works for me: 

       “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.”

Peace, Deb

Thanks to Christianity Today for publishing the study entitled, "Getting Along With People," downloadable from their website.