Moving Musings 2014 - The Long Goodbye

Life in the military community is filled with lots of opportunities... to experience new places, make new friends, learn new ways of doing things. It is also very challenging, because it seems that we are forever starting over. I'm sure that part of it is what helps some people say, "It was a good life, but I'm done." For others, they adopt the attitude, "I'll keep doing it as long as it's fun - and as long as I feel like we're making a difference." I think that's where we are right now... that, and not really knowing what we want to be when we grow up.

I know that the phrase "the long goodbye" is often used in relationship to illnesses that slowly take people away from their families, often leaving an unrecognizable shell of the person once admired and respected by many. But I think that within both the military and the ministry communities there is another kind of "long goodbye." This is the time between when you find out that you (or your friend or pastor) are moving and the time you actually drive out of town. 

My grandfather was a Methodist preacher in Louisiana beginning in the 1930's. They had annual conference in the fall, close to Thanksgiving. (The Annual Conference is a regional connection of congregations and ministers headed by a bishop where business is done and ministry is planned and celebrated.) And at the end of the conference, the bishop announced where the ministers would serve for the next year. There were plenty of years that my grandfather came home and said, "Marie, let's start packing, we're moving to a new place." And within a matter of weeks, they would be on the road with their three children, ready to being new ministry in another part of the state. 

Today, ministerial appointments work much the same way, except that there is a consultation process, where ministers and churches get some say-so in whether or not there is a move, and what the needs of each are if a move does happen. Family situations are taken in account, with many clergy spouses working in important and significant jobs. There is even an introductory visit, where committees and pastors meet to begin sharing hopes and dreams for the future, all in anticipation of what is to come.

In the military world, members can find out from six months (or more) to six weeks (or less) that they are headed someplace new. But there really is no consultation process to speak of, except for filling out a "dream sheet" for jobs and bases with interesting possibilities. Ultimately, people are moved based on needs rather than wants, and if you get an assignment that you wanted, you feel really blessed.

All of this sets up the point of this post... in both worlds, there is a lot of time to say goodbye.

Some people respond by withdrawing. If you're the mover, it's really easy to focus all of your attention on what's in front you, so it's not surprising that some people just take a step back from their current situation and focus on the future. Likewise, if you're the stayer, it's easy to wonder how much you want to invest in a friendship that will soon end.

Others stay fully committed to their current situation, believing that the future will come soon enough. Sometimes they become even more committed to their friends and jobs, making sure that all of their energy is focused on what they can see right before them.

And then there are folks somewhere in between... trying to balance what is with what will be. Trying to be present with people in the here and now, but also looking with anticipation to what lies ahead.

Now each of these paths can exist at the same time - with the movers and the stayers - and so it takes some honest conversation to negotiate these paths well.

Today, the spouses in our Group gave me a farewell lunch.  It was wonderful, and I am so appreciative for all the hard work that went into making it a special day. I am gladdened and astonished that these women, some who work, some with little children, would venture to downtown Spokane for a lunch out, and pay for parking, to top it all off. There was laughter and stories, and we shed a few tears. But in the end I told them - I'm not leaving for six more weeks, so it's too soon to cry and say our final goodbyes.

I also asked them to keep us in their thoughts as we move back to a place we really enjoyed before - a place that will be familiar, but different. And to accept the gifts of the new leadership family, just the way they did for us. I am trying hard to balance the need to be present and to let go. And it's really hard. But also necessary for a successful transition for all.

We have had both long and short notice assignments. We found out that we were coming to Washington State almost seven months before we actually got here. We have also gotten the last minute call... you have to be in your new assignment in three weeks, get packing! Both present certain challenges, with positives and negatives along the way. But ultimately a good move - a healthy move - is about realizing that you are a part of an organization that has a life - a rhythm - a history - a purpose. With each move I learn again how God uses my gifts and the gifts of others in unique ways, and that if we are willing to work together, we will be exactly what our community needs for the days before us.

Tonight I saw this quote on the Weavings Magazine Facebook page. It says much better how I understand how God wants me to respond to all of the changes that lie ahead.

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone — Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude, page 81.

And here's another thing I've learned... with some people there is never really a "goodbye." Some friendships endure time and distance and different journeys. In both the military and the church, we keep connecting with the same people. Certainly email and social media make this even easier today, but I am absolutely sure than many of my best friendship would have endured, no matter what. What a gift, indeed.

Blessings in this season of "goodbye" and "hello." Give thanks for time together, and for new friendships to come.

Peace, Deb

Coming next - "The Evidence of Plenty"

New Series - Moving Musings 2014

So many of you know that in about two months, my husband and I will be moving... again.

As a United Methodist minister and military spouse, I have understood for most of my adult life that adjusting to change would be my most valuable tool. It's been 23 years since I graduated from seminary and 19 years of life as an Air Force dependent, and still, when it's time for the process to begin again, I am filled with all kinds of thoughts about what this life is like, including, "What, again?"

So this year I am going to submit random thoughts on what this kind of life means to me and, more importantly, what I am learning from it.

So stay tuned... I'm awake until very late most nights and hopefully putting these various rambling thoughts into words will make my life a little more peaceful.

I'm already working on the first post... here's a tease - The Long Goodbye.

Soon,

Deb

Sermon - A Parent's Parable

Fairchild AFB Chapel, WA                                                                    May 11, 2014

Luke 15:11-32

Last week we talked about two of the parables about being lost. The missing sheep and the lost coin were simple examples of how God is willing to seek, find and celebrate the lost coming home. This week’s lesson is a continuation of that story, but this time it involves a family, maybe one like yours or mine. This is one we can sink our teeth into.

This parable is perhaps one of the best known stories from the New Testament. People of all ages recognize it as the parable of the Prodigal Son. Prodigal means wasteful or extravagant spending, and so when we call it by that name we automatically set up a hierarchy among the characters. Even so, each of us can identify ourselves or someone we know with each person. One of you is thinking, “I am a youngest child, too, so I understand how this little brother might want to get out of the shadow of that older brother and go out on his own."  Someone else who is an oldest child is thinking, "Yeah, the baby always gets the breaks.  My parents were never that easy with me."  And some of you identify with the father, and really know the joy of homecoming and what it means to have what was broken made whole again.

We often hear this story explained as a lesson in reconciliation. Biblical writers often write about our need to be reconciled to one another and to God. This parable highlights both of those interpretations quite well. 

Reconciliation happens when the younger son swallows his pride and comes home, willing to accept the shame he feels he deserves for his irresponsible behavior.  But instead of rejection, the son is welcomed, "with opened arms,” and we experience the father's joy and acceptance of his young son's homecoming as evidence of the kind of forgiveness that God and Christ call for us to model in our own lives.  We even see the father building a bridge between the two sons, attempting to reach a level of reconciliation between them, so that they might all be able to celebrate together.

Today I’m asking you to make broaden your interpretation, and look for another dimension to this parable.  It’s too simple to think of this as a parable of the prodigal son. This is a parable about a man with two sons - of a parent with two children.  This is not just a story about children with different views about life.  This is a story about a father – and a God – whose heart is so big that he never gives up on loving all those who have grown close to his heart.  It’s the father’s behavior that challenges us in our own lives.  For while we see this as a model story for how we should behave, (think repentance, forgiveness, and healing) we cannot stop there.  Reconciliation is just the first layer of this story. We must look deeper to experience the radical nature of the story Jesus tells, and who he calls us to be.

Jesus tells a story of a younger son coming home to open arms, with the father throwing a celebration dinner in his honor.  And as expected, the older son, and probably many listening to Jesus tell the story, were really incensed.  Can't you just hear them talking in the background – neighborhood gossip at its finest: "Can you believe this?  Look, at what he's done.  He's squandered away his inheritance.  He left his other brother with all that work, and used all that money to live who knows what kind of life.  And when things got bad, look at what he did.  He worked as a laborer... for a Gentile... taking care of pigs.”  As far as they were concerned, he had lowered himself so far down that he'd probably never get up. 

And then they’d say, "And the father – can you believe it? He just welcomed him back.  With open arms.  And a party to end all parties.  What I wouldn’t have given to be a fly on the wall.  I mean I guess it's OK to let him come home, maybe even to forgive him, but a party???  Are you kidding me? Why, it looks like that father is condoning what the kid has done. You won’t catch me acting that way!”

Whether we want to admit it or not, we feel some of those same things.  We feel the same sense of outrage that the older son must felt when he found out that how his brother had been welcomed home.  But we tend to sweep those uncomfortable feelings away and say, "Well, that just how God wants us to be... a forgiving and reconciling people, even when it's hard or feels unnatural."

But explaining away our discomfort is not enough.  Because that feeling also describes our relationship with God, the uneasiness that we sometimes experience when we begin to explore the forgiveness that God has given to us in the midst of our unfaithfulness.  Maybe we’re uneasy because we think we (or they) are getting something for nothing.  But this story makes it clear that that is not the case.  The forgiveness that we see here is not without condition. The father doesn’t pretend like it all never happened.

When the father explained to the older son about his brother's return, he did not say, "He's back to his old place in the family, with wealth and power restored."  No, what he said was, "Nothing has changed for you. But my broken heart has been healed.  I didn’t know if your brother was dead or alive, and now that he’s home, we have something to celebrate.  Come on, grab a plate – we’re having a party."  With forgiveness came consequence, and the need to take responsibility.  The younger brother’s place will become clear soon enough.

And God is the same with us.  We are NOT told, "I forgive you, so now I will take away all your problems."  Instead, we hear, "I love you and forgive you, and therefore I will be with you in all your hurts and your pains, and in the consequences of your sin.  You are not alone.  I will provide a community to support and care for you in the midst of whatever happens." 

The God whom we worship is a generous God…  One who forgives our sins, who stands with us in our joy, and holds us up in the midst of our pain.  But God did not just forgive my sin, or your sin, but also the sin of those who, to us, seem unforgivable.  Our God is not an either/or God, but is a both/and God. And even beginning to understand the scope of God's love and forgiveness helps us to know God in a new and deeper way.  We cannot draw the lines which define how God's grace is going to operate.  God will be whom God will be. The love that we share and the care that we give does not come easily – it takes constant practice of loving and forgiving others to make that feel close to natural. It’s what we pray about in the Lord’s prayer – your will be done.

I've been following this story for a couple of months, and it came to resolution earlier this month.  Cornealious "Mike" Anderson, of St Louis County, was convicted of robbery in 2000 and was sentenced to 13 years but was never told when and where to report to prison. He spent the next 13 years turning his life around - getting married, raising three kids,learning a trade. He made no effort to conceal his identity or whereabouts. Mr. Anderson paid taxes and traffic tickets, renewed his driver's license twice and registered his businesses.

Not until last July did the Missouri Department of Corrections discover the clerical error that kept him free and authorities went to his home and arrested him, sending a SWAT team to make the arrest early one morning. He had been imprisoned in the Southeast Correctional Center in Charleston, MO ever since. But on Monday, May 5th, the 37-year-old Anderson appeared in court to fight for his freedom, and Mississippi County Associate Circuit Judge Terry Lynn Brown ruled that keeping Anderson in prison would serve no purpose.

Judge Brown said that rather than Anderson being granted parole, he would get credit for the 4,794 days between when he was convicted and when he was arrested last year. The judge also lauded Anderson's "exemplary" behavior during his 13 years of freedom.  "You've been a good father. You've been a good husband. You've been a good taxpaying citizen of the state of Missouri. That leads me to believe that you are a good and changed me," he said.  "You are a free man," Brown continued, telling Anderson to go back to his family.[1]

And while this is not completely analogous to our story today, I think that this judge must understand what the parable is all about: what it means to balance justice with mercy, and reconciliation with paying for our mistakes.

The younger son was prepared to ask for forgiveness, to take whatever the father would grant him, no matter how little, to just feel the safety of home.  But the father ran out, and before the son even had time to open his mouth, welcomed him home, and showed him all the love that he held for him in his heart.  God has also run out to meet us, forgiving us before we even ask, and acknowledging it to us when we finally recognize it.  The life, death and resurrection of his son Jesus Christ open for us new dimensions on how we understand God and our own lives in their light.  They are the bridge that keeps us from being separated from God.

Whomever we identify with in today’s parable, from whatever slant we read it, in its entirety, this parable brings out different emotions and understandings about who we are as our parents’ children.  But it also tells us who we are as God’s children, and who God is as Parent of us all.  This is not just a parable about reconciliation.  It is also a parable about the Kingdom of God and how God wants us to live in it. We are called to be a people who live out extravagant generosity and radical hospitality, just as the father demonstrates here.[2]

I remember a story told by Tony Campolo, American Baptist minister and professor at Eastern College in PA.  He was in Hawaii preparing for a speaking engagement, and on the first night there he couldn’t sleep, so he went to an all-night diner.  About 3am a group of eight women came in, laughing and talking loudly.  He was able to learn a lot from overhearing their friendly conversation.  He learned that the women were professional escorts, finished with their night’s work and relaxing before going home.  He also learned that one of the women would be celebrating her 39^th birthday the next day. 

After the group left, Campolo got an idea.  He talked the diner owner and his wife into helping throw a birthday party for her the next night.  24 hours later the diner was decorated with streamers and balloons.  Customers who heard about what was happening stayed around to help with the surprise.  As the ladies entered the building, everyone inside shouted, “Happy Birthday, Agnes!”  Agnes was in shock.  People laughed together and hugged her, and after being reminded to cut the cake, she begged them to let her keep the cake as a reminder of the wonderful day.  “I’ve never had a birthday cake before – please let me take it home to show my kids.”

As shocked as they all were, they couldn’t think of a good reason to refuse her request, and so she left with the cake intact, holding it as if it were something precious. 

Tony broke the awkward silence in the room by saying, “Why don’t we pray?” and without hesitation prayed for Agnes in her life, asking God to bless her on her birthday, bring peace into her life, and save her from all that troubled her. After the “Amen,” the owner said, “You didn’t tell me you were a preacher.  What kind of church do you preach at?”  Tony thought for a minute and said, “Well, I preach at the kind of church that throws birthday parties for prostitutes at three o’clock in the morning.”  To which the owner replied, “No, you don’t.  There is no church like that.  But if there was, I would join a church like that. Yes, I would definitely join a church like that.”[3]

A man had two sons.  One went away and made a lot of mistakes, and one stayed home and was faithful.  And when the one who went away came home in disgrace, the father loved him and celebrated his return.  And when the one who stayed home was mad and upset, the father reminded him that his love is big enough to love both of them, and that any homecoming is worth all the celebration in the world

Let us pray:

Parenting God, you have watched and waited for us.  You have longed for us to “come to our senses,” to realize the joy of being members of your family, and of taking our own special place in that family circle.  In your love and grace you gather us to your heart, and call for a celebration!  As your church we express our thanksgiving in joyous worship, and welcome those turning and returning to you, even as you have welcomed us. We ask that you would teach us again and again what it means a church which walks with people because they are your children, proclaiming and demonstrating all of the love that you have showered on us though Jesus Christ, our Lord.  Amen.

Peace, Deb

---

[1] http://www.cbsnews.com/news/man-who-went-to-prison-13-years-late-ordered-released/

[2] Schnase, Robert, Five Practices of Fruitful Congregations, 2007.,

[3] Campolo, Tony, The Kingdom of God is a Party, Word Publishing, 1990, pages 3-9.

Sermon - Lost and Found

Fairchild AFB Chapel, WA -  May 4, 2014
Luke 15:1- 10

Lost and Found

Have you ever lost something? Of course, that’s a trick question because we’ve all lost something at one time or another. So let me ask a different way: Have you ever lost something important?  Again, a silly question, because even if it’s not something exotic or valuable, if we’re looking for it, it’s important, at least at that moment.  I could tell you a hundred lost and found stories, some of them sad, some of them silly. But none of them really measure up to the lost and found stories Jesus told that day, when he was caught hanging out with people from the wrong side of town.

Jesus told stories to teach lessons. But they are really more than stories – they multi-layered morality plays, used to teach theological lessons in everyday terms that ordinary people will be sure to understand. At this point in his ministry, Jesus already has a reputation for hanging out with the wrong crowd. Again and again, the religious leaders accuse him of welcoming and eating with sinners. But Jesus has countered this argument saying, the doctor needs to be with sick people, not those who are well.
Today, he tries to make them understand this concept in a different way. He tells three stories about lost-ness. The first two we will study this week, and we’ll tackle the third one next week.

Story 1: A man has 100 sheep, but one of them becomes lost. Jesus asks,” If this were you, wouldn’t you leave the 99 in safety to go and look for the one who was lost? And if you found it, wouldn’t you have a party with your friends and family to celebrate the lost coming home?”

Story 2: A woman has 10 precious coins, and loses one in the house. So she sweeps and cleans and looks high and low until the coin is found.  And like her shepherd friend, she invited her friends and family to rejoice over the lost being found. And then Jesus ends both parables with the following sentiment: “Joy breaks out in the presence of God’s angels over one sinner who changes both heart and life.”

In each story, rejoicing takes place after both the sheep and coin are found.  Yet the Gospel is not about finding lost property or things, neither sheep nor coins.  Instead, it's about finding the least, the lost, and the last among us.  The sheep and coins are simply an analogy of the extent that God will go to find us and reach out to us.

Think about the joy you felt when you found something that was previously lost or missing. Maybe it was a favorite piece of jewelry or a well-loved book or maybe it was reconnecting with an old friend you hadn’t seen in a long time. There is the well of joy that springs up within us when that which was lost is found. In finding the lost, we become whole.

The good news in this passage of scripture is that God actively seeks us out when we have wandered away or are lost or absent.  It is almost as if God is incomplete when one of us is missing.  In God's eyes everyone has value!  Each one us! God will never stop reaching out for us! Regardless of what we have done or ever might do.  "We" might stop looking for our "stuff" or our "things" when they are lost, but God never stops looking and waiting for us!

We live in a what some call a throwaway society. When we lose something and can't find it, we generally replace it with something new.  We even give up on people when they disappoint us or fail to live up to our expections. But God never gives up on anybody. God doesn’t replace us, or stop looks for us. He doesn’t throw us away or write us off.

He goes out and finds us, and is filled with joy at our return. In theological terms, this is called repentance, which is not just about coming back, but about coming to or back to the life that God designed for us from the beginning of time.

In the 51st Psalm we hear powerful words of repentance from the lips of the psalmist as he prays to the Lord, pleading for forgiveness and restoration.  He says:

Have mercy on me, God, according to your faithful love!     Wipe away my wrongdoings according to your great compassion! Wash me completely clean of my guilt;     purify me from my sin!… Create a clean heart for me, God;    put a new, faithful spirit deep inside me! Please don’t throw me out of your presence; please don’t take your holy spirit away from me. Return the joy of your salvation to me    and sustain me with a willing spirit (Psalm 51: 1-2, 10-13 CEB)

These are words from one who knows a loving and forgiving God.

The writer Paul confirms God's undying devotion in reclaiming us as he writes to his friend and fellow sojourner Timothy:

 I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength because he considered me faithful. So he appointed me to ministry even though I used to speak against him, attack his people, and I was proud. But I was shown mercy … [because] “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”… (1 Timothy 1:12-13, 15 CEB)

Both stories in today's Gospel tell us that God will never give up on us.  They remind us that when we turn our lives over to him, there is rejoicing in Heaven.

We could say that God is the untiring Pursuer who will never give up the hunt, until we turn and accept being scooped up in an embrace of Holy Love.  There is nothing we can do to keep his extravagant loving care from us except to run away.  Our own incompetence, our negligence, our rebellion, our misuse of talent and resources, not even our selfishness and sinfulness can keep God from seeking and welcoming us when we come back to his waiting embrace.

There is nothing we can do to detour God from loving us.  Like the shepherd leaving the 99 behind and the woman diligently searching for her lost coin, God will not give up on any of us.  God welcomes home all who turn to him, even when we or they are considered unworthy of the gift.  God loves each one of us with a love so big that it more than fills this room, this base, this state, this planet.

The evidence of this is the most extravagant gift of all -- the gift of his Son, Jesus.  His life and his ministry, his death and his resurrection are an deliberate demonstration of how valuable we are to God. They are witness to how far God will go to search out those who are lost, inviting us back into relationship with him and one another.

John Newton, writer of “Amazing Grace,” spent part of his life as a slave trader, transporting them from Africa to the Caribbean and then to the  Colonies in America.  Born in England, his mother died when he was seven.  Away at school until age 11, John then joined his father's ship, living the life of a seaman.  He described his early years as continuous rounds of rebellion and indulgence.  Eventually, he served on several ships that worked on the West African coast, collecting slaves to sell to visiting traders. He later  captained his own slave-trading vessel. His actions contributed to the buying, selling and transporting of some of the 6 million African slaves brought to the Americas in the l8th century.  All of this from the writer of one of our most beloved Christian hymns.

So when John Newton mentions "wretch" in the first verse of his hymn, he knows what he’s talking about – he means himself.  And yet, as the hymn says, all can be redeemed by the grace of God.  In 1748, when all appeared lost during a stormy voyage returning to England from Africa, Newton began reading the Thomas A. Kempis' book, Imitation of Christ.  Between the message of Christ’s love contained in this book and the crashing of the waves of around him, Newton believed the Holy Spirit sowed the seeds for his eventual conversion and personal commitment to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.  And without even thinking about what he was saying, he prayed this simple prayer, “The Lord have mercy on us.”

This was the turning point in his life.  He remained a slave ship captain for several years, improving conditions for the slaves on his ship.  He held worship services for his ship's crew each Sunday, but soon knew that he could no longer contribute to such cruelty, and instead became a strong and effective crusader against slavery.  He saw that before his conversion he had been lost in sin and blind to the truth of the Gospel.  Newton found that even in a prayer of desperation, almost without meaning it, God answered.  His sins were forgiven – once and for all.

When we are lost, any of us, God has already been looking for us. Our being found often comes because we are willing to identify ourselves as one of God’s children. When others are found, we are called to recognize them as members of our same family. We are called to love them with the same love God has for them – lavish, gracious, undeserved love represented by the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am found, was blind, but now I see.”

The Christian life seems to have two distinct parts: the times when we recognize all that God has given us, and then the times when we convey that message to others, not just in words, but in the ways we live, each and every day. We live in a society which frames “Them versus Us” conversations at every turn. But Jesus knew something that we have to work hard to learn… There is no THEM … it’s only US.

These parables ask us understand that church is not just the place where we worship but the people God wants us to be. And to be those people, we are called to turn around and go back to the place where we started… sitting at the feet of Jesus, and anchored in the heart of God.

Next week we'll continue with this theme, looking at one of the most recognizable parable Jesus ever told, the one we call "The Prodigal Son."

Let us pray:

Gracious Lord, You who are the Good Shepherd, grant us a compassion and care that reflects who you are and who you have created us to be. May we be a people who welcome and encourage others to live a life of faith.  May we have the courage to seek out all who may have wandered away from your love, who feel alone, and those who seek to know you but don’t know where to start. Remind us daily of your great love for us, and give us the grace to receive all into our lives who wish to know of measure of your peace.  In Jesus’ name we pray.  Amen.