Just when you thought you knew...

I had an "AH-HA" moment this week.  It was actually kind of shocking.

You know how you think you know something, absolutely for sure?  It's a given - it's the truth now, it's always been the truth - you know it so well that you don't even think about it even more.  You know?

Well, this week my world got turned upside down in an unimportant, but surprising way.  I found out that .... my husband's favorite pie is apple, or peach, or sweet potato, or anything with rhubarb... but it's not cherry, which is what I've always thought it was.  Wow!

This conversation came up after I spent several hours in an orchard in NE Washington state picking about 23 pound of cherries to put up for use during the rest of the year.  It's not that he didn't appreciate my efforts - he gave me lots of praise.  It's not that he doesn't like cherry pie, because just about any homemade pie is like a little piece of heaven.  It's just that we've been married over 17 years and I thought that cherry was his favorite.

And then he reminded me that cherry is MY favorite, or at least one of them.  Oops.

And so I did what any good partner would do.  I made him an apple pie... and served it with vanilla ice cream and whipped cream.  And put several pieces in the freezer, so that they can be thawed and consumed at any time.

And so then I asked myself the question, "What else do you think you know?"

Maybe it's a good thing to have our preconceived notions upset or challenged... to learn something new, or admit to making a mistake.  Relationships and communities are built on being honest and sharing ourselves in authentic ways.  

The world keeps telling us that things are black and white - that we have to live inside a box - that rules were not meant to be broken.  But relationships grow and change, and if we're honest and willing to see it all through, living a little grey will help us to grow and give us a stronger foundation on which to go forward into the world.

Early in my ministry career I had several people say to me, "I don't believe that women should be preachers, so I'll never consider you to be my pastor."  And as surprised as I was with that kind of honesty, I was glad that the Spirit provided me with a response that has been a blessing every time... "That's OK, let's just be friends."  While shocked at my response, no one ever turned me down.  Those starting friendships often blossomed and in time, each new friend introduced me to someone saying, "This is Deb, she is my pastor." 

I find that the more I think I know, the more I have to learn.  Instead of living in the box all the time, I have found that questions might just make the box bigger, instead of finding me outside it bounds. I hope that my willingness to change and adapt is seen as a strength and not a weakness.  But how do we know when it's time to hold ground and when it's time to update our thinking?

For me, there are not hard and fast rules, as long as I continue to live according to my understanding of who God has called me to be.  Love God, love neighbor, love self - and all for the glory of God.  It is impossible for human beings to find 100% agreement on every idea regarding faith, family and life.  But when we are at our best, we find a middle ground.  We figure out how to make a life together and we do it out of love for God and love for each other.  Relationships with our spouses, our family members, our friends and our enemies are often defined by what we are willing to give up in order that others might find joy and.or peace.  When challenged, we find that many things that we thought were really important are, in reality, just things, or ideas, or habits of doing things a particular way.  And when push comes to shove, we often have to choose between competing ideas, all in the practice of Godly love.

[Jesus said,] "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other." John 13:34-35 (The Message)

This is the high bar that is set for all of us.  And God's gives us the ability to choose how to live out that love in our own lives.  My life looks very different from most of yours, and that's a good thing.  But it is my hope and prayer that our choices will draw us closer together and not put up walls that will keep us from supporting one another as we live our faith in the world today.

Peace, Deb

"Take a deep breath, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again." Frank Sinatra

"Strangers are just friends waiting to happen." Rod McKuen, Looking for a Friend

"God always has another custard pie up his sleeve." Lynn Redgrave

Merrily we rolled along...

I will not bore you with many pictures of our recent trip across the United States.  But I have to say that I was constantly amazed at the sights and sounds of our journey west.  In these ten days, I visited four new states and visited three important national parks and/or memorials.  I am so glad that we decided to take a little extra time to include these amazing places on our itinerary.  We will remember them for a life time.

We did get to visit with family as we went to pick up Shawn's dad in Michigan.  Tim was such a great help to us, both in driving and in helping get the house unpacked in record time.  And as we begin our new life in Washington state, we look back fondly over the last several weeks and savor the time we had to just be...

After eating German food with my sister and her family
(minus nephew Zach who was at gardening camp)
Columbus, OH

Butterfly House, Columbus, OH

We are a little corny, don't you think?
Mitchell, SD

The one and only Corn Palace
Mitchell, SD

Not a cloud in the sky
Mount Rushmore National Monument, SD

Are you sure we'll fit through there?
Custer State Park, SD

Old Faithful was right on time!

Boiling volcanic mud 

near Old Faithful, Yellowstone

Bacteria, sulfur deposits and the sun make for beautiful colors
Old Faithful Geyser Basin, Yellowstone

And eye or a mouth?
Yellowstone National Park, WY

Lower Falls
Yellowstone National Park, WY

The happy trio
Mammoth Hot Springs, Yellowstone

Mammoth Hot Springs, Upper Terrace
where the rock grows at an average rate of 1/4 inch per day

Mammoth Hot Springs, Lower Terrace
Color means the rock is still growing, alive with bacteria and rock being
deposited - white means water is not flowing there and the rock
is not growing, at least this week - the landscape changes quickly

Norris Geyser Basin in the morning (about 50F)
In the afternoon it just looks like an empty field

I am pretty sure that I would not have seen all of these amazing things if the Air Force had not given us this opportunity to move West.  And while we are usually in the habit of pressing on without a break, this year we decided to stop along the way to see new places.  Ansad I'm SO glad we did.

I have lived most of my life on the East coast... the other side of the country felt very far away, and somewhere you'd only visit by airplane.  But driving through "new country," South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana and Washington, I was often speechless over the beauty and diversity of our beautiful country.  Mount Rushmore brought a new dimension to the idea of patriotism.  Our visits to The Badlands and Yellowstone National Parks helped me to appreciate both my science and theology roots - they seem to fit seamlessly together as I looked across the barren plains and sniffed the sulfur-filled air.

So this message is especially for people who think that Wyoming or Montana are too far away and/or not as interesting as Disney World.  Please reconsider!  This country is vast and beautiful and there many sights that cannot be truly appreciated through video, photos or descriptions.  I can't wait to visit Glacier National Park sometime soon, and to go back to Yellowstone, maybe in the winter.  There are so many new things so see.

Peace, Deb

The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.  ~ attributed to St. Augustine


The traveler was active; he went strenuously in search of people, of adventure, of experience.  The tourist is passive; he expects interesting things to happen to him.  He goes "sight-seeing."  ~ Daniel J. Boorstin, Librarian of  Congress from 1975 to 1987


To get away from one's working environment is, in a sense, to get away from one's self; and this is often the chief advantage of travel and change.  ~ Charles Horton Cooley, sociologist

Look Down Below

We all have seen picture of the historic monument, Mount Rushmore.  It shows the faces of four of our most celebrated presidents.  Can you name them?  That's right... Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt, forever enshrined in stone, looking out on the American landscape, anchoring us in the past, and looking into the future.  Each provided leadership at a crossroads in American history.  Each define the greatness of the presidency.  Carved in a granite mountainside, they are an iconic picture of the United States, recognized by many Americans and on many people's list of things to see in their lifetimes.

What you don't see lies at the foot of the sculpture... tons and tons of granite, blasted, carved and chiseled by the work of hundreds of craftsmen who spent eleven years working on bringing these faces out of the mountain in which they were hidden.  The mountain cradles among its ruins the portrait of a strong, undefeated America.

I loved walking along the Monument Trail around the base of the rock, seeing the iconic memorial from a brand new perspective.  The president's faces can each be seen individually, framed by blue sky and the branches of trees growing at the base of the enormous sculpture.  They say that 90% of the rock of Mount Rushmore was blasted off with dynamite.  The rest of was pounded off with drills and jackhammers - only the last 1/2 inch was finessed off by sanding, which gives the presidents their smooth complexions. 

And I thought about how much the story of this great American place is just like the story of our lives.  About how we too are start out as blank slates, and how often our personalities and personas are formed not by little bits being broken off gently, but blasted off in big chunks by the crises and disasters of our lives.  Those remnants lay in ruin around our feet, not as a sign of defeat, but as a remembrance of the work and determination that have gone into to shaping us into the people that we become.

No one lives a life without some kind of hardship... if they say they do, then maybe they aren't really living.  Taking chances, making mistakes, weathering hardships... these are the times that build character and define our choices.  

These four presidents presided over times of great transition in our country.  Transitions that tested what people were made of... and they ushered in new eras of peace and intellectual ideas and sometimes even wealth.  Their ideas and leadership were often considered radical.  They were loved by most and reviled by many.  And the United Stated of America would not be who she is today with even one of them.  

Visiting Mount Rushmore National Memorial reminded me that patriotism is not just spoken about, but lived in everyday lives.  Patriotism is not just about flag waving, but about making contributions to our communities and families that make a difference in positive, enduring ways.  

I did not expect that visiting this monument would be so emotional for me, but I was moved to tears as I stepped out on the terrace to stand in full view of this amazing, wonderful tribute to four men who made a difference.  I knew intellectually that 400 men and an immigrant stone carver had worked to make a legacy here.  But I didn't know until I stood in front of it what a distinctive, improbable contribution they had made to life in this country.  They didn't know how it would all turn out.  And they did it anyway.

We often wonder if what we do makes a difference.  And maybe we won't make splashes in any ponds anytime soon, or even ever.  But we can't accomplish anything if we don't take a chance.  And doing big things takes teamwork, and trust, and sometimes going against conventional wisdom.  In the end, we are rewarded... sometimes with a result, but always with the experience.

Peace, Deb

“It is every man's obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it.”  ~ Albert Einstein

“Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.”  ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

“Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.”  ~ Swedish Proverb

On Being Left Behind...

No, not that kind of "left behind" - like "Oops, Jesus came back and I'm still here."

I'm talking about when many of your friends move on to new adventures and you are still in the same old place.  But it's not the same, because your friends moving away creates a space that begs to be filled.  I'll admit that I haven't been the one left behind very often.  We seem to be a little hyperactive on the moving scale right now.  But I do remember being the one left behind a couple of years ago.  All of a sudden, my coffee buddies were gone. I could no longer see my neighbor sitting on her back porch sipping tea and waving me over. The people who knew the inside jokes were gone.  No Abbot to my Costello anymore.

Many tears were shed at those goodbyes... tears of joy for memories and friendships made... tears of sadness for the hole that would be left... tears of anxiety for the unknown.  But they day after the last "best" friend left, the sun still came up, the wind still blew (it was Oklahoma, after all) and there was still the work that filled my days.  And soon, new friendships were born... new inside jokes... new front porch ice tea drinking... like was good, just different.

This week I thought about all my friends who are also moving and wanted to remind them of the blessings in store.  Here is the message I sent to many of them: "Just a thought for all of my friends, both ministry and military, who are preparing to move in the next few weeks. God is already in your new location preparing for your arrival. It will be grand if you just keep that in mind."  I received a lot of affirmation that this was just what they were feeling, too.

But someone also reminded me that God is also staying behind, to bless the lives of those left - to help them adopt a new routine and figure out a new normal.  I look back on that time and see how blessed I was to be the one left behind.  I knew where things were.  I had info about shopping and dentists and traffic patterns.  Having been the "new kid" on the block many times, I've always been glad when someone shared valuable information that helped make my life easier or my transition smoother.  I tried to be that person for a while.

That doesn't happen all the time.  When we moved recently, our new neighbor said, "Let us know if you have an emergency, but if you're only here for a year, it's just too hard to get to know you to only say goodbye so soon."  How do you respond to that?  I said, "OK, thanks for letting me know."

Change is hard.  Routine is our friend.  But whether we are going or staying, life's little jostles and reconfigurations remind us that we are not always in control of the circumstances or outcomes.  And one of the most important lessons I have learned is to not take that personally.  Things often do not go the way I expect them do, or want them to, but with an open mind and heart, all things can work for good, if we will only look for ways to help that happen.  That doesn't mean it's easy, but it does mean that we have to be intentional in our actions - offensive instead of defensive - pro instead of con - and willing to see the possibilities in our new situations, not just the losses we can tend to focus on.

With change comes both joy and sadness, sometimes accompanied by relief and panic.  Our emotions can be all over the place, but one thing I do know...

We are not alone... blessings are waiting; we just have to be willing to receive them.  Whether staying or going, life is good if we will only live it to its fullest potential.

Peace, Deb

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.  ~ Anatole France

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.  ~Robert C. Gallagher