This blog has been interrupted for ....

I was working on a different blog post yesterday when my world started shaking... no, literally shaking.  It seems that a 5.8 earthquake centered about 80 miles from my location in Northern Virginia had struck.  I was at the grocery store and I felt dizzy - like my legs were rubbery and the ground was moving side to side and up and down under my feet.  When stuff started falling off the shelves, I knew it wasn't me.  Then we all looked around and said, "wow, I think that was an earthquake."  And then people started cleaning up and gong about their business... no panic - no evacuation - just buying cabbage and carrots for slaw and Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches, which were on sale.

I texted my spouse to let him know that I was OK and when I finished picking up a few things, I went home.  The house was still standing - nothing was broken - all was well with the world.  Then I turned on the TV.  All the local stations had interrupted programming, and a reoccurring theme began to emerge.  Many of the people interviewed compared their immediate reaction of the earthquake to the feeling they had on that September day in 2001.  The fears of that day 10 years ago reemerged for many.  And I was reminded of something important.

The things that happen to us matter.  Some things we may never forget - like where we were on 9/11.  For other times, the details are forgotten, but the general experience remains with us.  Today I looked at pictures of new student orientation at my colleges, and all of those feelings of fear and joy and excitement came rushing back, locked away long ago but ready to be unleashed by a sight or a sound or a smell.   Generations before us had the death of President Kennedy and Pearl Harbor/D-Day to remember.  For people born in the last 50 years, 9/11 will probably (hopefully) be the most defining national moment we experience.

These corporate moments are lasting for many reasons.  They are a common shared experience. They give us a starting place for conversation and relationship.  And they most likely change the way we think about the world and our place in it.  The events of September 11, 2001 also made us think about faith and religion in a new way.  For some, religion became a haven.  For others, it challenged their understanding of God and a world where these kind of things can happen.  For still others, their faith helped them to stay grounded and loved and to get through difficult and challenging times.

Yesterday's earthquake reminded me that those memories still live within us and have the power to invade whatever else is happening in our world and jar it just a little.  People here in the DC area were reminded of that day 10 years and the insecurities that are always with us in the nation's capital.  It's been 10 years - something in us want to think that someday it will not longer effect us with such impact, but I don't think that's the case.  I think these monumental communal events still effect us just as much as the personal events like weddings and births and deaths.  And as painful as those reminders are, they are also evidence that we are human and not in always in control of what happens around us.

What we can control is how we react.  For me, that reaction is anchored in my trust in a God who does not will trouble for us, but helps us to come through on the other side stronger than when we began.  Dean Sam Lloyd at the National Cathedral said it this way:  Jesus hung out with a motley crew.  They weren't pillars of the community - they sometimes made bad choices.  But Jesus lived out a kind of love that told them that no one could ever do anything to be outside the reach of God's love.  Jesus came to make our lives today possible - lives of love and peace and forgiveness.  And if we choose to follow him, he will give us the strength, energy and compassion to live our lives with all the fullness we can experience.

Paul wrote about this God-love in a letter to the church in Rome, where Christians were undergoing terrible persecution.  I remember these words everyday, in the midst of my remembrances of communal tragedies and personal struggles.  May they give you as much peace as they do me.

Romans 8: 35-39  "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  As it is written:  “For your sake we face death all day long;  we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Now excuse me while I go to stock my hurricane box.  Irene is on the way.

Peace, Deb

We may never know...

I've had a lot of feedback about last week's post.  It's very humbling to know that people are reading what I write and thinking seriously about it.  I am reminded of the scene in the movie "Julie and Julia" where Amy Adams' character is wondering if anyone is reading her blog.  On the day when someone finally posts a comment she realizes, "uh oh, I better be careful about what I say... people are paying attention."  That's how I feel today.

And it started me thinking about how we often live without remembering that people are paying attention.  We may never know how that one thing we say or do may have an effect on someone's life.  It could be in the way we relate to our children or spouse at the grocery store or WalMart.  It may be in the way we drive our cars.  In may be reflected how we live out friendship, or in how we relate to people we don't know.  It may be in the way that we react to the circumstances around us... new jobs, new friends, unemployment, kids going off to school, or kids coming back home to live.  There are as many situations as there are minutes in the day, and if we are mindful, we can reflect love in every single one of them.

"Oh, no," you're thinking.  "Now I have to be careful about what I say and do all the time."  Well, yes - that's the way it works.  But it does get easier if we think about living one day  (hour/minute) at a time.  It becomes a way of life... a habit... an essential part of ourselves.  Does that mean we don't think about it?  No, it is very easy to get pulled back into what I call an "unthoughtful" posture.  I like to think of this lifestyle as character development.  And just like in mastering a musical instrument or a sport, it takes practice.

For me it's more than "What Would Jesus Do?"  It's more about asking, "What am I called to do?"  Whether we consider ourselves religious or spiritual, I believe that each of us has a calling.  Some of that is about profession, but I have discovered over the years that it's more about being fully present and attentive and active in the lives we live.  This isn't about going to church, although for many that is important.  It's not about being overtly pious, either.  This calling is about making a life that is more about being centered... giving when we can and receiving when we are in need.  And believing that we are stronger when we are in relationships with others than we can be when we depend only on ourselves.

We may never know how much our care touches others or how our love brings out the best in those around us or how much we have to give until we try.  We may never know how much others need to give until we are willing to receive, how much our centeredness in God and with one another gives our lives grace and peace and meaning, or how that centeredness reaches into the lives of those we touch, even if it's just a minute or too.

We may never know how much we make a difference in each other's lives, but know we do and be mindful of making it a good difference.  It's as simple as sharing a smile, offering a hand, or going out of our way.  Be grateful for the good around you, even when things aren't going the way you planned.  Be sad at the sad things and look for joy around you.  This is the life to which we have all been called.

I am reminded of the prayer attributed to St Francis of Assisi in the 14th century.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.  Where these is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.  Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.  Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console,
to be understood, as to understand,  to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.  Amen.

May we all be instruments of God's peace.  Deb

Looking for a place to call home

I've been flying under the radar the last few weeks.  I've been a little busy - trying to get settled, learning my way around, going out have new adventures.  I've been in touch with a few friends from previous assignments, made and kept an appointment at the Army hospital, and had lunch with one of my neighbors.  But we're still working on making this "home."

Home is more than getting the boxes unpacked, more than hanging pictures, more than filling the freezer and cupboards with food.  Home is about making a life, both in the house and out in the world.  And that part is really hard.  We're still working on finding a church.  There are 15 United Methodist churches withing 10 miles of our house (more choices makes it harder, not easier, in case you were wondering) and so far we have visited 5 if them.  Two were off the list before we got back into the car... one is too far away and two others are on the short list.  We're visiting number 6 this Sunday - then we make a choice.

Of course, we are an unusual family when it comes to finding a congregational home... we know way too much and have opinions about everything else.  And then there's the all important question... are we choosing a church family based on what they can do for us or what we can do for them?  So far, we're trying to weigh the choices evenly, but when we come to the bottom line, we just want to worship in a place we can call home.

Isn't that what we all want... you and me?  Not just to have the boxes cleared away but to find a place of meaning, at home and in the world.  All of us want to be in a place where we can know that we make a difference... a place where we can be loved for who we are... a place to serve when we are at our best and be served when we are in a time of need.

Right now each of us is in "between times" - between the times of saying goodbye and saying hello.  We are remembering good and bad times in previous places, and looking into the mist of the future, praying the there is a puzzle where our piece will fit.  Some of us are sending our kids to school for the first time and wondering what we will do with our days.  Some of us are going back to work after some time away.  Some of us are even in the same place, but people we love are gone, so we will have to make a new normal right where we are.  No matter what our situations, we have the opportunity to make the best of whatever comes our way.

I know that this will become home for us.  As has happened so many times in the past, we will be blessed by the relationships that we develop with old and new friends, and we will work to both serve and be served.  God's past and present faithfulness are reminders that there are big plans in store for each of us as we live fully through whatever circumstances meet us along the way.  For some of us that means moving from place to place. For others it means staying put and welcoming new friends into your lives, even if they are not going to be around forever.  Paul reminds us that we can be equipped to handle and even thrive in all the circumstances of our lives.  Simply put, that's what it means to be "home."

Paul writes: "Because we know that this extraordinary day is just ahead, we pray for you all the time—pray that our God will make you fit for what he's called you to be, pray that he'll fill your good ideas and acts of faith with his own energy so that it all amounts to something. If your life honors the name of Jesus, he will honor you. Grace is behind and through all of this, our God giving himself freely, the Master, Jesus Christ, giving himself freely."  (2 Thessalonians 2:11-12 in The Message)

Happiness is being "The Pie Lady"

This weekend we went to a picnic with five families from previous assignments,  When deciding what to make, I decided on making two of my favorite pies - the Chocolate Chip Derby Pie and the Cherry Berry Pie.  On Saturday morning, I gathered the ingredients, made the crusts and set out for the task at hand.  When Shawn came in the kitchen, he asked, "Why pie?  No one at this party will know that you're the Pie Lady.  This is your chance to remake yourself... no need to be chained to the past."

I thought about this for a minute or two.  After bringing pies to many events in the last five years, it didn't really occur to me that I would NOT bring pie, even if I was bringing something else.  I've worked hard to develop my recipes, and am happy to share with people who enjoy them.  And so I replied, "But I'm happy for pie to be "my thing."  It's a dying art and I don't want it to get lost in the process."

And so we went with our two pies to the picnic... and the Pie Lady still lives on.

So in my effort to keep the art of pie making alive, I'm sharing with you some of my best tips.

1 - I've used Pillsbury Refrigerated Crust since it came out... and it's a really good crust.  In fact, I keep a package in the freezer in case of a pie emergency.  But  I have finally found a crust recipe that works consistently for me.  And so I'm going to share that with you, just so that you can see if it works for you, too.

2 - Most fruit pies need a bottom crust and a top crust.  The top one can be the same crust as the bottom, but the top one can be a mixture of flour, sugar, butter and oatmeal, often called a streusel topping.  Cherry and apple are especially good with streusel topping.  And if you're going to top your pie with a regular crust, do something fancy like cutting out shapes with a cookie cutter (I'm partial to stars) or making a lattice top.  Don't think that's too hard because I've taught my nieces and nephews to make lattice tops, so you can learn it, too.

3 - Know your oven.  The time in a recipe is usually a starting place for me.  You want the top crust to be brown and crisp-looking and the filling to be bubbly toward the center.  If it's not, your pie will be soupy in the middle.

4 - Cooked pies need to cool to lukewarm or room temperature, otherwise they will run when cut and make the bottom crust soggy.

5 - Fruit pie and ice cream is an equivalent breakfast to cereal with fruit and milk.

Deb's Very Easy Pie Crust
(If you don't have shortening, you can use all butter.)
[I use a food processor, but you can make this with a pastry blender or two knives to cut the fat into the flour.]
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp salt
8 tablespoons butter (1 stick), chilled and cut into small pieces
4 tablespoons shortening
6-8 tablespoons ice-cold water

Place the flour and salt in the bowl of your food processor or mixer.  Add the butter pieces and the shortening and cut into the flour.  In a food processor, pulse the mixture until the fat is broken down into pieces the size of peas.  If using a mixer, use a pastry blender or two knives to cut the fat into the flour.  After that is accomplished, add the ice cold water a tablespoon at a time until the crust comes together in a ball.  This usually takes 5-7 tablespoons, depending on the humidity and the brand of flour you use.  (If I'm not using my food processor I do this part with the dough hook on my mixer.)

Pour the crust mixture out on a lightly floured surface and bring together in a ball.  Divide into two pieces, pat into round disks about 4 inches in diameter, and wrap in plastic wrap.  Chill for at least 30 minutes.  Can be held overnight or frozen for future use.

When ready to put the pie together, bring the dough out of the refrigerator and use a rolling pin to make into a 12-inch circle.  Line a 9 or 10-inch pie plate with the dough.  Ease it into the corners at the bottom of the plate carefully.  If it tears, no worries, just piece it back together.

Repeat with the top crust - crimp edges to seal so that the juices won't run into the bottom of your oven.  (I usually bake mine on a cookie sheet lined with foil, just in case.)

Fruit Filling (I find that most fruit pies (not apple) use the same proportions fairly well.)
3 cups of fruit (raspberries, blackberries, cherries, peaches, rhubarb & apricots work well, often in combination)
1/2 to 3/4 cup granulated sugar, depending on taste
2 tablespoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons corn starch or tapioca
2 tablespoons butter, melted
(cherry and berry pies often benefit from the addition of 1/4 teaspoon of almond extract)

Mix filling ingredients together and place in prepared pie crust.  If you use frozen fruit, you may need to drain the excess juice, otherwise your pie may overflow it's borders.  Bake at 375-400 degrees for 30 minutes, check the pie, and if the pie is browning on the edges, turn the temperature down to 350.  Or you can over the pie loosely with aluminum foil, to keep it from browning too fast.

Struesel Topping
1/2 cup of all-purpose flour

1/2 cup oatmeal (old-fashioned or quick, not instant)

1/2 cup of butter, melted

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/2 teaspoon of salt

Mix ingredients together into a sandy mixture.  Sprinkle on top of fruit mixture in crust and bake as previously described.

Enjoy!

Peace, Deb

Is compromise a dirty word?

com-pro-mise (a noun)

1. a settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc.; by reciprocal modification of demands.
2. The result of such a settlement.
3. something intermediate between different things.

All you have to do is listen to the news to hear the sentiment that compromise is a dirty word.  It seems that this idea runs like a river throughout every segment of our society - in our government, our churches, our schools and our families.  And while I really do believe that it's important to stand up strongly for the things that we believe in, I wonder how we can be willing to alienate those around us in the process, all for the claim of being "right."  

When I lived in North Dakota, I had the opportunity to volunteer for a wonderful organization, The Conflict Resolution Center.  It just so happened that my office at UND was in their building, and I became intrigued with what they did.  That first year I took a 50-hour training in Transformative Mediation, which seeks to help parties in conflict  acknowledge (and hopefully understand at least a little) the perspective of the other.  Sometimes parties were able to come to resolution through real compromise, each giving a little and making a middle ground with which both could live.  Sometimes people understood the other client's motivations, and were able to adjust their expectations.  And sometimes people just agreed to disagree.  The Center continues even ten years later to have a great record of helping members of communities, workplaces and families live more peaceful lives together.

This training and experience has been invaluable to me as a pastor and as a member of the varied communities in which I have lived.  I have seen great transformations come from listening and honoring the right that others have to their own opinions.  So you imagine that living near our nation's capital will be a challenge for me.  Even the local news is filled with disagreements that seem to radiate from the institutions of power.  And if it seems like I'm watching more Food Network here, that might be the reason.

Today in my devotion, I read a passage from Paul's letter to the Romans (Chapter 14 - I highly recommend the whole chapter in The Message translation).  In it he writes about how this new Christian community can live peacefully within a large group of people who do not share their beliefs.  Paul did not advocate pushing doctrinal beliefs on those around them.  Instead, he says that we are to live out our faith beliefs consistently and stop imposing our beliefs on others.  I am especially encouraged when he says, "So let's agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don't drag them down by finding fault" (v19).  

It's easy to get pulled into the fray when everyone around you is losing their minds.  Paul's words are a good reminder that our lives are a reflection of who God is to us.  If we live with compassion (and in my mind, willingness to consider compromise), then that reflects well.  And so, my goal for the next year is to work hard to be a consensus builder and not give in to the way of distrust and needing to be right.  Wish me the peace of Christ in the process.

Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do. And don't jump all over them every time they do or say something you don't agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently. (Romans 14:1 The Message)

Stuff is not just stuff

I spent part of today polishing silver.  We actually have very little, but the pieces we do have are very special,   like the salt and pepper shaker from Shawn's grandmother, and the tea biscuit container from Ms. Melia in Summerville, and the footed butter dish from Mrs. Bemis at my Alton church, who gifted it to me when she went to live in an assisted living center (be careful about saying you like something when you visit - you may end up giving it a permanent home).

As we have spent the last week unpacking from our most recent move, I have thought a lot about the things we have gathered over the years of our marriage and even before.  The things that we carry with us from house to house span the years of our lives, from our births to our recent birthdays.  And I think that I have been able to divide them into four categories.

Personal and Profound:  Obviously, these are the most important of our belongings.  Wedding photos, childhood mementos, treasured gifts and other belongings go in this category.  There is a story that goes with many of these items.  One of our packers was very chatty, and I was able to share with him the history of many of the items we keep in a glass-fronted bookcase that came from my grandmother's house.  It's not just the antique glass and childhood bank that mean something to us, it's also the piece of furniture itself that has great personal value.  It stood in my grandmother's house for decades, filled with books, and over the years I read every one of them, including Peyton Place when I was 14.  We refinished it and replaced the glass when it was broken in our second and third moves.  We watch them carefully wrap it with each move, placing layers of cardboard over the doors to protect them from being broken again.  And each time we set it up, we tell the stories of the items we place inside.  This bookcase is a mirror into our pasts, and tells not only a part of our stories, but the stories of our families and the love that we all share. 

Fond Memories:  There are a lot of these items roaming around our house.  We still love the cake cover and wine glasses we got from squadron friends at our wedding.  We regularly use items that were given as farewell gifts from friends at different churches and bases.  Each time we see them, they remind us of lives shared well, and how blessed we are to have friendships that have withstood the test of time.

Might Need Someday:  This comprises a lot of what we have gone through this week.  Many of our boxes have been in storage since before we left for Germany in 2004. We started going through them before we moved, and we loaded up the back of my Avalanche four times with household items, books and furniture to take to Goodwill or the church yard sale.  And still, I already have four boxes of the same kind of stuff to go out for the Purple Heart truck next week when they come to our street.  These are the things we used someplace, and thought we might need again, but lived without for almost seven years.  Hopefully these items will find a good home with people who need what they can provide.

No Clue:  And then there are these items - half burned candles, broken lampshades and brittle, sun-fried plastic flowerpots, bags of packing peanuts, and magazines and journals from 1995.  These items have been properly disposed of (our trash and recycling people were very busy today), and tomorrow when the unpacked boxes are taken away, my spouse will be able to pull his car into the garage, which is why we have really been working so hard all week.

Our stuff is more than just stuff.  It is an accumulation of things, but also represents the phases and relationships of our lives.  Don't worry - when all is said and done, we'll still have a lot of stuff, but I hope be can be more mindful of how it can be useful in the present, and mindful of people we love. 

I am still wrestling with Jesus' challenge to leave behind the things of the world in order to follow him.  Maybe clearing out the clutter will take me one step closer to what he intended life to be about.

Peace, Deb

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you?  What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving.  People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works.  Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions.  Don't worry about missing out.  You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met."  (Matthew 6:^30-33  The Message)

I remember when...

So, we've all heard someone say, "I remember when..."  Maybe it has even been one of us.  Sometimes this statement is preface to a great memory... a wedding, the birth of a child, a funny situation from childhood or something crazy we did with friends.  But other times this statement is the preface to a story of a different kind... a story which reflects the belief that things were better, safer, or more honorable in a time that is past or before some significant change occurred.


We hear this a lot today - in the church and in society.  Some people believe that life would be good if there was never any change, or if we could go back to the way things used to be, as if that would be a magical cure to all that is wrong with the world.  But think of what we would have to "give back" if we were miraculously able to go back in time.  think about conveniences like smartphones and the internet... innovations in medicine and machinery... and for me, relationships that would have never materialized if things always stayed the same.


I remember than when I talked to my parents about going to seminary, my mom was worried, because her dad was a minister, and she wanted a more stable life for me than she remembered growing up.   And I must admit that I took her concerns seriously, and prepared to be able to come and leave and come again.  (Little did she know that I would meet and marry a wonderful man who really give me a mobile lifestyle.)  It has not always been easy, and I have not always been happy right away in new situations.  But I think that I am the better for all the changes in my life.  And I hope that I have made a difference in the lives of people that I have known and loved.  So I can give thanks everyday for the opportunities that I have had to do new and different things and to live in lots of different kinds of places.


But the price I have the pay is going on around me... the sound of crinkling paper and tape being pulled and boxes being filled.  These are long days, and there are long days on the other end, too.  But in the end, this change means good things, if only because we get to decide that good will come from all that happens around us.  


We each get to choose how we react and respond to the change that goes on in our lives and in the world.  The life that I live calls me not only to serve Christ in my heart, but live out that life in my relationships with others.  Remember this: Joyful and compassionate people make for joyful and compassionate communities, and together, we can do anything.  Paul's words to the Colossians help us learn how do live these kinds of lives.  May these words be written in our hearts and lived out in our lives as we all face the change before us, now and in the time to come.  


Peace, Deb 


Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:12-14 NIV)