Military Retirement: How do you know when it's time?

Two years ago, my spouse retired from the USAF after 27 3/4 years of service. It was an amazing experience, and there are very few times when we wished we had made different choices.

We knew that a move was coming that summer. We expected it to be our last active duty move and that we would have 2 3/4 years to decide what and where we wanted to be when we grew up. But it only takes one call from the assignment "guy" to have the whole plan turned on its head. Deployment service is honorable, and at a different place in his career, the answer might have been yes. But with very little conversation, we both knew that the answer to the question this time was no.

And because of the way the assignment process works in the Air Force, once you turn down an assignment, you must retire within four months. There are a lot of requirements, legal requirements, to get out of the military... classes and briefings, budgets and resumes, military medical and Veterans Administration appointments to be arranged. And living on an Army post overseas added two more layers of complication. But we made it!

Even if you think you're ready to say goodbye to military life, it's hard. It's a big adjustment and some do it better than others.  Here are some of my observations - I'm sure that I'll keep adding to the list, but I have to start somewhere.

• Imagine going on your first job interview at the age of 50... let me tell you it's not pretty. 
• Imagine putting together a post-retirement budget before you even have a job... nerve-wracking!
• Imagine doing 10+ different jobs in a 28-year career and trying to make a resume for each of those specialties.
• Imagine not knowing where you want to live because you've can't decide among all the good choices you have, or maybe because you have trouble committing.
• Imagine going to the doctor to document all the aches and pains that you've spent a career ignoring because they might keep you from doing something amazing or important.
• Imagine having to actually think about what you're going to wear to work.

I know, I know... most people already do these things every day, but for military members and their families, these are brand new, often overwhelming experiences.

One of the things I've realized is that the unknown of retirement is much more stressful than the unknown of the next assignment. Again and again, we have asked the question, "What if we make the wrong choices?"

In the end, we went very "gut instinct" - we didn't feel like Germany was done with us, and we were right. My spouse has been in his job for almost two years, and every day we realize the choice was the right one for us. We hope that when it's time to move on to a new experience, we'll get the same vibe.

To all of the families that are going through the same thing, this is just an affirmation that you're not going crazy - it really is that hard. But it does get better... eventually.

Peace, Deb