Mother - noun and verb...

This started out as a Facebook post, but kept bouncing around in my mind all night, so I decided to expand on my original thoughts... 

Mother: (noun) a term of address for a female parent or a woman having or regarded as having the status, function, or authority of a female parent... (verb) to perform the tasks or duties of a female parent

I never had any children of my own, but I don't feel like something is missing. I was 35 when I got married, and it took another six years for us to figure out if we were ready to have kids. By then, it just didn't happen, and after a lot of prayer and conversation, we decided that being a family of two would be just right.

After all, I've been mothering others most of my life, and count it as blessing all of those who have been a part of my classes or bible studies, and those who have come to me for a listening ear or comforting shoulder. I'm an aunt, I've served four church communities, volunteered in seven local churches and two military chapels, and been a military spouse mentor for the last 21 years... and most days, it all feels like mothering... sometimes complete with poopy diapers and quarreling children. 

I came to Facebook about seven years ago, after resisting for a long while. In truth, I joined because I wanted to keep an eye and ear out for some of my military spouses who were having a rough go of it. Following their profiles and connecting with messages, emails or calls felt more present than just waiting to find out something bad or good had happened that day. I was content with my little group of about 50 friends... until one day, someone outside my Air Force family found me. 

My first appointment after seminary was at a large United Methodist congregation near Charleston, SC. I stayed there for five years, meeting and marrying my husband, and then ultimately moving away when the Air Force called. It's been sixty years since our denomination began ordaining women, but even 35 years later, there were some days that being a women minister felt like a burden. But at the same time, I understood intently the need for women's leadership in the life of the church. Over 20 years later, I see the had of God moving through my ministry and the ministry of other women in the life of the church. 

My first summer there, I was planning with our youth ministry team for the opening dinner, and in addition to the skit that the youth put on each year, I decided that we would open with a short liturgy that included scriptural passages that would be our theme for the year. I asked a youth from each of the 6 grades to participate in reading and leading, and remember distinctly choosing a rising 7th grader to read the passage for 1 Corinthians 13.

And when she got to the part of the passage where Paul talks about his spiritual growth, she said,  "When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, reason like a child, think like a child. But now that I have become a woman, I’ve put an end to childish things" ... well it blew me away. I actually got tears in my eyes. And when I asked her about it, she told me that it felt right to her and she thought God was OK with it, too. 

That teenager, now in her 30's, was the first church person to find me on Facebook. And when she found me, the gates just opened up. Many of those kids, their parents and other church members have shared memories of turning points in their faith journeys, and have told me about the way their faith remains real today, even as they are spread all over the place. I love seeing their families and watching them wrestle with what it means to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. And I thank God every day that I got to be a part of their journey... and am hopeful (and thankful) that the mistakes of my young ministry did not mess them up too badly.

In the days when I thought about not bearing children of my own, I knew that God had called me to mother in different ways. No, I haven't carried a baby in my body. No, I haven't spent years sleep-deprived from colicky babies and changes thousands of diapers, but I have celebrated new life that has come to many families and I have wept with those whose idea of family was not realized in the ways that they expected. And in the joy and in the sorrow, I have kept a mother's heart.

And so I can be joyful when a preschooler asks, "Where are your kids?" I am happy with my answer, "I don't have any kids of my own... can I borrow you if I need one?"  I can be confident in responding to those who express sadness that I never experienced motherhood with a reassurance to them that God has fulfill my need to mother in the lives of countless church and military friends who need someone to be present with them in all the days of their lives.

Seven years ago, my 11-year old nephew came to visit us in Oklahoma for a week. We worked on boy scout merit badges a lot of the time, but I think he was ready to go home after about 3 days, so we spent a lot of time talking about random things in the four days he had left. One night he asked, "Aunt Deb, if you don't have any kids, whose going to take care of you when you get old?" I replied, "I guess our nieces and nephews will have to take care of us. What do you think about that?" And without batting an eye he said, "I'll do it... my sister can take care of my mom and dad... I think you guys would be easier."

As I write on this day after Mother's Day, I want to thank all the women who mothered me at different times in my life - my mom, my mother-in-law, my grandmothers, aunts and sisters, and countless friends who received me and loved me, just the way I am... and helped me to grow stronger in character and faith along the way.

At our wedding, Shawn and I chose the hymn "Praise to the Lord, the Almighty" as our entrance hymn. My favorite verse has been changed in many other hymnals, but in the United Methodist hymnal, the fourth verse is my favorite:

Praise to the Lord, who doth nourish thy life and restore thee,

fitting thee well for the tasks that are ever before thee.

Then to thy need God as a mother doth speed,

spreading the wings of grace o'er thee. 

Like God, that is what mothers are call to do... spread grace. 

Peace, Deb

Sermon - Life Ripples in a Pond (Easter 6 C)

Sixth Sunday of Easter, (Year C)                                                                   May 1, 2016

Acts 16:9-15; John 14:23-29

Have you ever been a missionary? I have a few friends who have done that. Dave and Kristin from seminary spent over 10 years in ministry in Lithuania, reestablishing United Methodist churches after the fall of communism in the 1990’s. Their children were born there, and the relationships they nurtured there built there brought lifelong friendships. Their mission efforts helped to raise a church that had been in hiding for 50 years, and the church is now being served by local Lithuanian pastors alongside one missionary family who continue their work.

I have another friend who grew up in a missionary family overseas. It has greatly influenced her life. She sees being in mission, not as a just as a finite call with a beginning and an end, but as a way of life. Mission was not just what happened when you were in church or bible study. It wasn’t just about helping people know who Jesus is and inviting him into their lives. It was about being with them in everyday tasks and helping Christ be present there, also. And it was about adsorbing from her host country all the ways that God was working, even as it was different from the way that people in the US experienced God.

We are getting ready to celebrate Ascension Day this Thursday… you will know that it’s a special day because the stores will be closed and people will take a day away from work. In German, it is “Himmelfahrt”… literally heaven travel… Jesus, leaving behind the burdens and trappings of the world as ascending to his rightful place in heaven. In his last words to his follower, Jesus commanded, “Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything that I’ve commanded you. Look, I myself will be with you every day until the end of this present age” (Matthew 28:19-20).

During this season of Eastertide, we have been following the story of the early church as we read through the book of Acts. We have seen the disciples struggle and grow as they worship and are taught by the risen Jesus. We have met Paul, as he is converted from persecuting Jewish leader to Christian teacher and leader. We have seen the struggle that the church has figuring out how to blend the Jewish and Gentile Christian communities and make unified expectations for all. This week we see Paul pushing the bounds of the Christian community outward from Jerusalem – out of the Middle East, out of Asia and into Europe.

Today’s lesson from Acts is a powerful portrait of how Easter faith gives rise to a desire to spread the good news. Paul’s mission is making its way northwestward, through Asia Minor and onto the continent of Europe. He had tried to go east, further into Asia, toward Ephesus, a center of cultural and trade activity. But several times he was stopped by different circumstances, which he saw as roadblocks put up by God to send him in another direction.

Paul’s call to Macedonia comes in the form of a vision, Luke’s reminder of the extraordinary nature of our bidding to go out in God’s name. With this dramatic event, the mission to Europe begins, and Paul must feel that nothing will ever be the same. The gospel is moving out of familiar territory where the Pauline gospel is well established.  It is moving into uncharted waters. It is as if the events of Christ’s life, death, and resurrection were a big rock, thrown into a pond, rippling out to reach all the world.

We often think of Paul as a hater of women, or at least unappreciative. People have used some of Paul’s writings to prove that women were not equal to men in matters of faith and leadership. But this story is one which reminds us that the issues of faith are not always black and white. Lydia’s conversion reminds us that God will call whom God will call, and the all of us, man, woman, youth, and child, are opening to the changing power of God’s grace.

Lydia, a woman of means, probably a merchant and leader in the community, encounters Paul and his companions at a place of prayer by the river. The authenticity of her response is indicated by the eagerness with which she responded to Paul’s sharing. Both she and her household were converted, and the genuineness of her conversion is reflected in her hospitality. When they hesitate, she teaches them by asking them to judge her by nothing but the realness of her faith. So we shouldn’t be surprised that after Paul and Silas are released from prison at the end of Chapter 16, they go back to Lydia’s house, and find that faith in the Christian life has already grown in the town, and that a house church has been established, with Lydia as the driving force.

There are so many aspects of this passage which appeal to me. It reflects the radical nature of the gospel in that the message is available to all who will listen and let it change their lives. Think about it. Paul, one of the chief tellers of the faith story, has been sharing the story of the Messiah within the traditional Judaic framework. When he arrived in a town, he went to the synagogue, because he knew that there would be people there who shared a common foundation with him and with Christ… belief in the God of the Jews.  And he talked to the men, because they were the leaders in the society, and could help him gain access into other parts of people’s lives.

But when Paul got outside the region of Asia, he encountered a different set of circumstances. Here, the place of prayer was not in a synagogue but by the river. And the people, mainly women, were probably not gathered in formal worship, but sat together sharing stories of life and faith. Maybe it was a shock to encounter a situation so different… maybe not. But Paul and company never debated on whether to share the good news. They didn't flinch or hold a conversation about how to handle the situation -- they just sat down and started talking. They met Lydia, a Gentile woman who quickly became the first European convert to Christianity (thus in our Euro-centric congregation, our mother in the faith).

For many years, this passage has been lifted up to affirm the ministry and leadership of women in the church. Lydia’s ministry within the community at Phillipi gained a good reputation and supported Paul in his further missionary travels. They took care of people in their community. They witnessed to the love of God. They used the gifts that God gave them to do the work of Christ. And they set a pattern for leadership that can be followed even today.

Ministry opportunities comes to us in all shapes and sizes. And often we do not recognize them for what they are… divine calls from God. We are so busy, so distracted, by the worries of our world that we do not see the people that God is calling us to walk beside. If we think to ask how someone is doing, we are more than likely thinking of how troubled our own lives are… seriously, when you are telling me the struggles that you are going through, I am having to work so hard to not say, “Well, you think you’ve got it hard… here’s what I’m dealing with…”

Too often I am not present enough in my day to ask myself these questions: God, how are you speaking to me through this encounter? What do you want me to take with me and what do you want me to leave behind? What am I meant to learn from this – how do you want me to change from this conversation, and sharing another’s story?

These questions matter because they make an assumption that most of us are unlikely to make… that God is traveling with us along the course of our days. Too often, our own inner monologue is drowning out the voice of God calling us to think less about our own need to be center stage and more on hearing and responding to the needs and pain of others. Can we hear God telling us to be open to a new plan and new challenges, ones that we didn’t expect or even want for ourselves? Are we willing to hear a call and just go – and are we ready to receive the gifts that come with unexpected encounters and their mysterious way of helping us take new and grace-filled paths?[i]

In our gospel lesson, Jesus gives us the promise of the Holy Spirit, the Advocate, which is a very interesting part of the work that the Holy Spirit does. We are able to see the Spirit as Comforter, because it’s often our first experience. But to know the Spirit as Advocate, that’s a much more unsettling way to experience God.  Bruce Cromwell reminds us:

Beyond believing that God still speaks, we then need to believe that God knows whom to call, and why…By the gift of the Holy Spirit, God gives us spiritual gifts in addition to our natural talents and skills.  And so when God has work to do in the world, women and men are called and equipped to do that work.  We simply have to faithfully respond to that call.  When ministry in the church in the world falls short, nine times out of ten it’s because one or two or ten of us have a hard time believing that God would ever, that God could ever, choose us to do something worthwhile and of significance for His Kingdom.[ii]

Imagine their surprise when two Air Force Academy cadets discovered that the janitor that had been cleaning up after them for the last two years was actually a Medal of Honor recipient from World War 2. When they asked him if he was the soldier they read about, he replied simple, “Yep, that’s me.” “Why didn’t you tell us?” they asked. He slowly replied after some thought, “That was one day in my life and it happened a long time ago.” At a loss for words, they sped off to class, but shared the news with everyone in their squadron.

After that, things were never the same. No longer was he “the janitor.” Students regularly stopped to talk to Mr. Crawford and invited him to formal occasions. Not only did it change the students, but it also made a difference to Mr. Crawford, who seemed to walk a little taller and offer them words of encouragement throughout the year.[iii] 

There are many lessons of leadership to be learned from the story, but it is also a great portrait of what it means to be a person of faith. Mr. Crawford’s heroic actions saved lives in 1943 and changed the lives of Air Force Cadets over 40 years later. And it makes me think about how the things that happen in one day in my life now could still be sending out ripples, long after I have stopped talking about or even remembering them.

Think of a still pond on a cloudy day. And gradually it begins to gently rain. See the ripples on the water? They reach out and keep spreading until they meet up with another ring, and then they head back to where they started. The history of the church is filled with the stories of people of all descriptions who have lived out their faith in the best way they could. Sometimes we feel like the only drop in the pond. Other times, the rain is coming so fast we cannot see where our rings end and where others begin.

Lydia’s faith was made strong by listening to Paul tell the story. The town of Phillipi grew strong in faith by seeing the witness of her call. And as we hear the story, we too grow in faith and belief.

What are the ripples of faith that have reached you? Have they changed you enough to help you be a ripple maker, too?  No matter where we are in our journeys, let us be reminded that if we are willing to see them, God’s ripples of love and grace are witness to the fact that we are called to be a witness and channel of the transforming power of God.

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[i] “On Macedonia and Being Open to God's Vision,” Janet H. Hunt, Dancing With the Word, April 24, 2016. http://words.dancingwiththeword.com/2016/04/on-macedonia-and-being-open-to-gods.html

[ii] A Plain Account, Bruce N. G. Cromwell, April 25, 2016

http://www.aplainaccount.org/#!Acts-16915/bhul0/571e11d70cf26b6d6841eee6

Commentary on Acts 16:9-15, Mitzi J. Smith, May 1, 2016.

[iii] “Leadership and the Janitor,” James Moschgat, USO On Patrol, Fall 2010.

See also: https://www.workingpreacher.org/preaching.aspx?commentary_id=2829