Why I want Tiger Woods to play well...

I love to watch golf on TV.  I don't know why.  I've never played golf a day in my life.  I drove around in a golf cart following my husband one day (his first and only game), but I don't think that counts.  Anyway, whenever golf is on TV, I am drawn to it like a moth to a flame.  So it should come as no surprised that I was a little disappointed when our TV's got packed up before the coverage of this year's US Open was broadcast.

No worries... technology is my friend.  I found that I could log on to www.usopen.com and not only find out how the players were doing, but could actually watch live coverage right there on my laptop screen.  And there they were.... Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson playing in the same threesome with this year's Masters champion Bubba Watson.  Three of the most dynamic and celebrated golfers competing against the field, each other and themselves.  Tiger had a good day... Phil and Bubba, not so much.  And on Friday, Tiger continued to play well and ended the day tied for first place.

Play has started today, on Saturday, and Tiger is struggling a bit.  And that makes me sad.  Because I want Tiger to play well, to come back and win... this tournament and many more, because like it or not, he is one of the most amazing players the sport of golf has ever seen.

Now that's not to say that he hasn't had his share of trouble.  His personal and professional troubles are well documented and much debated, so we won't go into them here.  Many people think that he may never get his mojo back... that he's washed up at 36, unable to get back to his previous, glorious form.  But others, like me, want him to do well... to get his swing back and his act together.  And not just because he's Tiger Woods, but because everyone has the potential to really mess up their lives.

Sometimes it's just dumb luck that keeps our acts together.  Sometimes we are able to talk our way out of the messes we make.  Sometimes we learn from our mistakes.  And sometimes we don't.  And so my reason for wanting Tiger to play well is simple....

I want to believe that our mistakes and failures do not define us.  I want to believe that forgiveness is possible.  I want to believe that we can come back and be even better than we were before.  I want to believe that life doesn't end because we do things that are really stupid and extraordinarily destructive.  I want to believe that we can learn lessons from our tragedies, and that we can come back ready to begin again.

Sociologist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross is best known for her work on death and dying.  But she also studied how people deal with adversity, believing that we learn the best lessons about ourselves and others through our challenges, not from our successes.

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

I want to be that kind of beautiful person.

I don't know how Tiger's tournament will end.  Or his season, or his career.  Only time will tell.  But I do know that he is now more like the rest of us... a flawed human being with incredible talent, just living life one day at a time and trying to make it to the other side.  Let's hope we all learn our lessons along the way.

Peace, Deb

When written in Chinese the word "crisis" is composed of two characters - one represents danger and the other represents opportunity.  ~ John F. Kennedy, address, 12 April 1959

Adversity is the first path to truth.  ~ Lord Byron

What moving teaches me...

Our packers come tomorrow, so we have been preparing for their arrival.  I know that we are incredibly blessed to have professional movers help make our shipment safe and efficient.  But in the last 10 moves we have determined that there are some things we can do to help facilitate a good unpack on the other end.  That includes keeps the original boxes for every small appliance and piece of electronics we own.  Yes, they take up a lot of room.  But things arrive safely, so I really can't complain.  

I always learn something about myself, my husband or my marriage in this process.  I thought I'd share some of these with you.

1 - Cooking is one of my passions.  And it shows in my collection of pots, pans, skillets, baking dishes, and pie plates that grace by cupboards.  Nobody really needs 6 pie plates, you say?  One day in Oklahoma I baked 14 pies in one day.  You can never have enough pie plates.

2 - Some clothes never go out of style.  I found a couple of dresses that I have had for over 15 years.  They are classically styled and as soon as I loose another 15 pounds I think I'll be able to wear them with pride.  Of course, there are also clothes that went out of style and have now come back.  Not sure why they brought back the maxi dress this summer.  If you're short, it's just an accident waiting to happen.

3 - Some books are here forever.  I still have a lot of books that I got in seminary or in the few years after when I was building my collection.  And I have about 25 novels that I have collected and will pull out and read again and again.  We bought three 7-foot bookcases a few years ago and I thought that I would be able to pare down the volumes to fit into their confines.  It's just not happening.  I'm going to have to find a bookcase for my husband and take over the shelves that he allotted for himself.   This item causes a little friction in our house.  I am the person who reads a book, and if it becomes my friend, I will never give it away.  Others think that any book read once has accomplished its mission in life and needs to be given a new home.  I'll let you guess who is who.

4 - I love my technology.  DVRs (digital video recoders) are my best friends.  I love "taping" lots of stuff and then keeping up with lots of stories.  All of this started when my grandmother introduced me to General Hospital when I was in the 8th grade (yes, I still watch).  Friday nights in college were spent watching DALLAS before going out to have a good time.  I never missed NYPD Blue or The West Wing, and now I'm pretty addicted to SMASH and Castle (which are on at the same time), NCIS and Bones.  Wireless internet, email and social networking.  They all feed into my extrovert side, helping me to be connect to people and to story no matter the location or time of day.

5 - My husband and I love each other a lot.  Moving is hard - physically, emotionally, spiritually.  And it's hard on relationships, because control all but goes out the window.  I live in two worlds where people move a lot - the military and the church.  So it's normal, but it's never easy.  The key to our success is in being honest when conflicts arise, not assuming your partner knows what you're thinking, and choosing your battles.  Are you  really willing to go to the mat over curtains?  Okay, sometimes you are, but choose well and don't use up all your goodwill in one day.

Here's to all of the friends that are also in the same process, maybe more this year than I can ever remember.  Some are moving a couple of hundred miles, others are literally taking planes, cars and ferries to their new homes.  No matter what your destination, I wish you well in the process, in the journey, and in establishing a new chapter in your lives.  It will be grand.

Peace, Deb

PS - in case you were wondering: SC to IL, IL to ND, ND to NJ, NJ to GA, GA to AL, AL to Germany, Germany to OK, OK to OK (new house - yes, it counts), OK to RI, RI to VA, now VA to WA... who knows where next.

Moving on... again & and a few Thank You's

Summer is just around the corner, and for the third year in a row we will be packing up our worldly possessions and moving to a new life.  It's a great thing. My husband has received a wonderful Air Force assignment, and we are really looking forward to all of the new friendships and challenges ahead.

That being said, I'm not looking forward to the next few weeks.  It's the actually moving part that is hard for me.  It's physically challenging - and this year we're in a three story house so there will be LOTS of stairs.  There's the saying "goodbye" to all of my friends, old and new.  There's the 3000 mile drive, although we will get to see family, friends and new sights along the way, so it's not a total negative.  And then there's the unpacking part - finding a place for all of our stuff.  Add to that learning the new place, new roads, and making new friendships along the way... it's really quite overwhelming to think about.

All of this can be quite draining, both physically and emotionally.  And yet, we have done this long enough to know that it will be OK.  Even the locations which seemed to be less desirable were filled with the most amazing blessings.  And everywhere we have made or resumed wonderful friendships, seen amazing sights, and left to go on to new endeavors much richer than when we came.

We hear a lot of negative news these days.  Many people think that our society has lost some of its luster...  that we are not the people we used to be.  But I will continue to believe in the goodness of people, of the possibility of community, and in the promise of the future because I have experienced it so many times in the past.  I know that this new journey is not a gift to be presented to me, but something that I will not just participate in, but throw myself into full force.  That doesn't mean that I am without fear, but I also know that I do not go alone.

I am so thankful for all of the people who support me along this journey of life and faith.  It's those friendships and acquaintances which make all of this moving around worth the struggle and the really hard work.  I love my military spouse friends.  I am in awe of your strength, your bravery, and your willingness to share your lives with people you know will move away some day soon.  I am convinced that Facebook and Skype were invented for us, so that we could be a family even if we are far apart.

I love my church and ministry friends.  You pray for me, teach me, challenge me, and expect me to be faithful to my call to love and serve.  I could not do this without you.  Please remember me and know that I remember and love each of you.  You are a blessing and a force to be reckoned with in this world.

And then there's my family, by birth and by marriage.  Most of you didn't choose me, but make the best of sometimes rocky relationships and living far apart.  I am so glad that we continue to matter to one another.  And I look forward to our love growing stronger as our time together goes on.  I can't even begin to talk about my wonderful spouse, who woke up one day and said, "I've got to marry her!"  It's been quite the journey, and I'm sure the best is yet to come.

And last, but not least, here's to the friends who are yet unknown.  Our time is yet to come, but I have a feeling it will be great if we will give it half a chance. See you soon!

Peace, Deb

Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly  knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence. 

  Pope John Paul II

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things,  because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. 

Walt Disney